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  1. #1
    cola2l is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Went on a date yesterday... it went "okay"...

    Met HB9 through some mutual friends about 3 weeks ago, we flirted a little over a couple days and then I asked her out. She was going away for Christmas with family so I knew I had to wait a while, I basically said "I want to take you out when you're home after Christmas" and she said yes. Excellent!

    We exchange some texts over the time she's away, pretty friendly and not flirty (my fault).

    We go for coffee yesterday afternoon, and the date *seems* to be going well. I greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, we instantly have great conversation (again, quite "friendly" stuff like about family etc, not flirty...). We end up talking for over 2 hours, surely this is going great! She rejects my offer to move on to a bar and have a glass of wine, although she did say well before the date that she had plans with friends for the evening so I guess she was worried about taking too much time. Whatever.

    I did a little bit of Kino, held her hand a couple times and if I squeezed slightly she squeezed back, lots of eye contact and she laughed a lot.

    Towards the end of the date, she mentions another guy that I knew she was seeing before. Like the fool I am, I mention that I know him, and that he seems like a nice guy. She talks about him for about a minute or two, I'm awkwardly praying the conversation changes to ANYTHING ELSE but she seems to keep talking about it. It went for about 1-2 mins, before I changed the subject. Should have stopped her sooner! Again, we haven't really flirted much - I've teased her but not really complimented her or said how beautiful I think she is. At this point I feel like I might get friendzoned.

    At the end of the date (I paid for our coffee, and while she seems like the nice type who would happily have split the cost if I had asked, she thanked me for paying in the kind of way that she kinda expected it - that's not a problem for me, coffee is cheap and if she had offered to split it may have seemed like more of a friendly chat than an actual date), we walk together for a little bit before we have to go our separate ways. She tells me it was great to catch up with me, and when I say we should go out again she ignores me and changes the subject, talking about her meeting with friends that's coming up. I say goodbye with a hug and another kiss on the cheek, this time she turns her cheek towards me (so she was definitely expecting it).

    I'm quite confused, I think I ended up being a friend over a cup of coffee for 2 hours rather than a potential boyfriend. We had a lot of laughter and teasing but not much in the way of compliments. She is, objectively speaking, a LOT more attractive than me, so I knew I needed to play my A game to have any chance with her. The fact that she called it a catch-up rather than a date annoyed me and her ignoring my clear indication of wanting a second date was also not congruent to the great time we just had.

    Question: Does it appear too needy or immasculine to text her saying something extremely blunt like "Hey, I don't want to play games. I really like you and want to go on another date and see where this goes."? I don't want to scare her off but at this point I think not being direct enough when we were in person was such a big mistake that I should correct it via text or else I'll never see her again anyway!

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on a date yesterday... it went "okay"...

    DO not text that.

    Her saying the words "catch up" means you were friendzoned. Coffee is more of a friendly date anyhow.

    Only Kino that matters is the kiss. The rest is good to establish you are a friendly person, but not making the move to kiss her until end of date was not very masculine.

    I'd recommend inviting her out for drinks. And please don't force her to make a hard decision when there's a good chance she'll say No. In general defining relationships is shitty let alone when you don't have a good shot.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  3. #3
    cola2l is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Went on a date yesterday... it went "okay"...

    Well, she doesn't like "social drinking", in her own words - she says a glass of wine with a meal is fine by her but she doesn't really drink much. So a bar isn't ideal for this girl.

    I texted her and basically said I had a nice time (was debating putting "a nice time on our date" to cement the idea of a date vs friendly catch up, but didn't. For the record, when I initially asked her, I did clearly say I'd like to "take you on a date" and that wasn't misunderstood by any means) and that we should go out to dinner on Monday night, and she agreed. I guess I'll try and be quite forward this time and give the impression that I was screening her or something with the more casual coffee date. If I don't kiss her at the end of date 2 I'll admit defeat and move on to another girl.


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