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Thread: Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

  1. #1
    beginning2getit is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

    I was dating a girl for 2 months, things were going well. We would text daily and meet every weekend.

    Over the xmas holidays I was away on a trip with a buddy of mine. The girl bought me currency for the country I was visiting as an xmas present. The day before my trip we went out for dinner then I spent the night at hers.

    We exchanged emails when I was away, she said she didnít think she would hear from me and was glad that she did, she gave me lots of chat and mentioned seeing her when I returned. I sent other email answering her email but didnít hear anything back. I had a missed call from her when I was away 2 days before I returned.

    When I returned I text her a general text and she then ended it by text saying she wasnít feeling it. I asked to meet up, she replied hours later saying she didnít know what that would achieve. I replied that it was ok if she didnít want to meet, I only wanted a bit of closure and told her to take care.

    That was a few days ago and I have had no contact since. I am pissed off as I have no idea what changed in the days before I returned and I am unsure what to do. I am thinking about just letting it go but I am unfortunately still thinking about it. My friends ran into her in a club 2 days before she ended it and she was quite drunk and asked if I was into her. They also said that she over reacted to a situation in the club between her friend and one of mine. They ended up staying with her in the club as her friend left and safely put her in a taxi home. Thats when she tried to phone me.

    If she wasnít feeling it why did she invite me back to hers before I went? Why get me an xmas present? Why answer my first email mentioning meeting up again? Is she embarressed about her behaviour in the club? These thought are making me think I should try to contact her but I am undecided. Thoughts?

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

    When I returned I text her a general text and she then ended it by text saying she wasn’t feeling it. I asked to meet up, she replied hours later saying she didn’t know what that would achieve. I replied that it was ok if she didn’t want to meet, I only wanted a bit of closure and told her to take care.
    did she actually tell you she broke up with you? or did she just ignore one request for a date?

    That was a few days ago and I have had no contact since. I am pissed off as I have no idea what changed in the days before I returned and I am unsure what to do.
    who knows what changed... the point is that there probably isn't much you can do about it except wait.

    all too often people get upset about things they cannot change. it doesn't matter what caused her to feel that way. what matters is how you deal with it. the answer is to stay calm and don't think about it too much. wait a while and see how things are a few days from now.

    if she broke up with you, then so be it. hit the "next" button and move on to the next girl as fast as you can. time is a precious thing, don't waste too much of it thinking about your girlfriend post-breakup. instead think about all the woman who are in your near future. go on now and get back to the pursuit of women (not you're ex)

  3. #3
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    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

    It's tough to say if she broke up with you, as meteora says. I am not interested in the what. I'm more interested in the why she would break up with you. How were the conversations between you two? Were they flirty, fun, positive? Was she responding frequently, rarely on the daily occasion? How did she generally act around you?

    If she did break up with you, definitely go with meteora and move on. It may sound like a heartless and harsh thing to just rapidly move on from an ex like that, but trust me, it's the best treatment for the sadness and heartache that comes from a breakup.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
    beginning2getit is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

    Sorry for not making it clear, she broke up with me by text.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    all too often people get upset about things they cannot change. it doesn't matter what caused her to feel that way. what matters is how you deal with it.
    Thats some great advice, thanks.

    A few more days have passed and I am feeling much better about things. I still find her behaviour very strange but as you say I cant change that. I am actually looking at it as if I have had a lucky escape.

    I was out with my friends last night and had a few beers. I had no desire to text or call her. Talking things over with them and the advice you guys have given me has helped me see things clearer.

    I have also learned that any women I am dating does not owe me one thing. Just because I try to always treat people with respect does not mean others will do so. I will continue to treat other with respect and I expect to be treated respectfully by other. If they dont then it says more about their personality and they are probably not worth having in my life. This girl is a prime example.

  5. #5
    beginning2getit is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    I'm more interested in the why she would break up with you. How were the conversations between you two? Were they flirty, fun, positive? Was she responding frequently, rarely on the daily occasion? How did she generally act around you?
    Thats what I was interested in as well.

    We always had positive conversations and I felt that we did have fun together. She would initiate texts conversations as often as I did, if not slightly more. For the last 6-7 weeks we would text every night maybe 3-5 texts each.

    I met her through a girl my friend knows and we have all been in clubs together as a group a couple of times, 3/4 of her friends and 3/4 of mine. On these occasions my mates had commented that she was all over me most of the night!

    Thats why , at first, I was a bit bamboozled by her ending our relationship as it all seemed to be going well. Now I will just think of it as a bit of fun I had for a couple of months.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need help with being dumped unexpectedly

    Quote Originally Posted by beginning2getit View Post
    Now I will just think of it as a bit of fun I had for a couple of months.
    That's the spirit! It's good that you're looking at this from a positive perspective and you're moving on from it the way you are. Sometimes, that spark just goes out. It happens in a typical relationship. As you have more and more, you'll eventually find one where that spark never goes out. That, my good sir, will be your future wife.

    In the meantime, enjoy being single, go out and enjoy life. Remember, you're not looking for Miss Right. You're looking for Miss Right Now.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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