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  • 1 Post By Adam Taylor

Thread: Dating problems pls help

  1. #1
    hellsaddist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Dating problems pls help

    How do I make the girl pay for the meals or go dutch? I don mind paying but at least she has to make some effort in paying and not take things for granted. Also, is it a good idea to ask her to plan the next outing like ask her to book the movie tickets, so that I'm not the one who always investing?

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating problems pls help

    There's nothing wrong with having a girl plan the next date and finance it. It's generally good if she wants to push for the meetup and do the planning for it. I'd say a happy middle between the two of you should always be 50/50. She should be pushing for and planning half of the events while you do the other half.

    As for the money issues, you have to be affirmative on the issue. You just simply need to tell her "Hey, I don't have a money tree, and it's getting tough to pay for everything. I would appreciate it if we started to split the costs 50/50 or you started paying for our activities once in a while". If she protests or tries to keep it on you, remain firm and don't give up any ground.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating problems pls help

    I have to disagree with swagman on the aspect of having a girl plan the date. Unless it's your girlfriend, or you have been dating her for months, I wouldn't recommend this. You should always be deciding what to do and where to go. Your the man so you need to lead. I've had my sister and many girlfriends tell me they've had guys let them pick where to go and it was a turn off. If I call and set up a meet with a women I choose where to go and what to do. However; If she calls me and invites me to do something that she is already going to do I will go with her.

    The paying thing. What I normally do on the first date is this; When you go to the counter to order your coffee or whatever and the worker asks what she wants you say "These will be separate". If she assumed you were going to pay and didn't bring any money give her shit about it. "You came out to eat/get coffee without bringing any money? (smile)." Then offer to pay this time but she has to pay next time. After the first date you already set the precedent that you aren't going to pay for her so it shouldn't be an issue.

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    hellsaddist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dating problems pls help

    I just think that the other party should also put in effort in planning the next date to show that shes interested. Anyway thanks for the advise on the paying thing, I will definitely try it. But most dining places charge in 1 bill. Also, I have already went past more than 1 date and she just plays her phone when the bill comes.

  5. #5
    Adam Taylor's Avatar
    Adam Taylor is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating problems pls help

    In the first couple date, it's usually me who pay. But after that, I pushing things toward splitting costs. I usually go like : "Ok, I take care of the tickets, you are hangling the drinks", or "You pay for the first round, and I take care of the less". Of course, usually it's still me who pay more, but ad1 - it's still ok ad2 - it teaches her step by step that I'm not a moneybag.
    And of course if you are over the dating period, it's natural to split the costs.


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