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Thread: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

  1. #1
    The_Mania is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    This girl (about a HB 7) messaged me a couple hours ago (also rated me 5 stars). Looking over her profile..it seems we have quite a few similar commonalities. Liking a lot of the same TV shows, having a sense of humor in our writing styles, grammar (typing) being important, liking dogs and cats (my profile pic is actually me holding a cute dog, which may have sparked her interest), etc.

    She opened me up with "Hey there." How do I adequately reply to that? She didn't really give me a whole lot to go on.

    Thank you.

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    The_Mania is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    I ended up replying with this:

    ""Hello! How are you? Nice to meet you. Name's Steve. What's yours?

    Btw, in one of your pictures, is that the Breckenridge Ski Resort? Looks remarkably similar.

    PS. I'm glad somebody seems to know the difference between "Your" and "You're." Haha.""


    (Maybe I wrote slightly more than I wanted to, but whatever).

    -She replied a few minutes later-

    Her: It is the Breckenridge Ski Resort!

    Her: I'm doing well, my name is Alexis or Lexie for short.

    Any advice going forward? I feel like she's interested in me because of the commonalities I mentioned (forgot to mention she loves traveling from what I see, as I do), the fact that she has a very selectively reply bar (means I might be golden if she's replying to me), and that she double posted.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    Yeah, I'd say she's interested.
    Just don't make the mistake of getting suck in Fluff-talk & trying to build rapport right now.
    That will get boring & you'll push yourself closer to the friend zone.

    Work on building attraction by flirting.
    (Teasing/bantering/razzing etc.)

    I'd say something like:
    "So, I'm gonna take a guess & say; you just hang out there & pretend you just got off the slopes, but you really don't know how to ski... right? heehee"


    It's playful & fun... just a little friendly jab to push her buttons in a humorous way, without being rude or mean.
    It's not a neg... it's how to flirt.



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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    Haha, sounds good. How long do you think I should keep up the flirting and bantering before moving onto rapport (and a potential meet up)?

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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    Never rush flirting!
    Flirting can be a type of foreplay when done effectively. Flirt all the time / as much as possible.

    rapport will come naturally. so don't worry about when to move to that phase. (That's why most guys end up in the friend zone... because they think having a "conversation" about similar likes & interests is gonna make a girl attracted to them.)

    Flirting is the fun part!
    Rapport is just talking.

    Why hurry up & rush through the fun?


    The meetup will also come naturally when you build attraction, because she's gonna be anxious about seeing you. (IF you flirt correctly)


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    Makes sense.

    Had another question. What do you do in the event that all her answers are very short? So far, she has replied in very few words. I don't know if it's cause she's nervous, not totally invested, or a combination of both.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    Here's the convo so far:

    Me: Hello! How are you? Nice to meet you. Name's Steve. What's yours?

    Btw, in one of your pictures, is that the Breckenridge Ski Resort? Looks remarkably similar.

    PS. I'm glad somebody seems to know the difference between "Your" and "You're." Haha.""

    Her: It is the Breckenridge Ski Resort!

    Her: I'm doing well, my name is Alexis or Lexie for short.

    Me: Wow, I guess I haven't lost my touch at guessing places!

    How was the experience over there? Never been to that resort, but have always wanted to go.

    Her: It is one of a kind.

    Me: I can only imagine.

    So, I'm gonna take a guess & say; you just hang out there & pretend you just got off the slopes, but you really don't know how to snowboard. Am I right? Haha. :P

    I can still turn it around with flirting and bantering, but how do I get her to open up more? I'm actually wondering if I should just suggest a meet up. Like tell her that we can keep messaging back and forth for god knows how long, or we can actually meet up if we really are attracted to each other. Something in that vain. What do you think T-Mal?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    I push for meetup virtually immediately by bringing things down an activity conversational thread and pulling back as necessary. Got my wing a date off Okc today from it. Literally first thing I text no matter what she says is "lol what are you up to ?" Then go front here. You have ample attraction because she initiated, so just roll with it. I pack "lol"a and "haha"a in my messages to make them light and playful.
    Ask t-mal, his advice is always good, mine is to focus on the datez
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    She responded with "Ahaha you caught me!"

    Still a rather short message, but she's responding (responded well to that flirt, thanks T-mal!). Do you feel like I should go ahead and suggest the meet up in my next message, or continue with flirting/rapport?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Okcupid, how to respond to "Hey there"

    I think you should go ahead and suggest a meet up. Worst case is she says no, or doesn't respond. In that case, she was likely never planning to see you in person anyway. Go for it..

    I feel like she's definitely at the very least interested (and attracted) in you based on what you've said. She might even be waiting for you to ask her out. Go for the big shot!

    If not, then continue with flirting, and perhaps a little rapport before asking her out.
    Always be honest with women. That's the true meaning of a PUA.


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