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Thread: How important is who initiates?

  1. #1
    1chance's Avatar
    1chance is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How important is who initiates?

    realistically, how important is it, who initiates?

    I've found with a current girl ive been gaming for awhile, she's began to not initiate as much and almost doesn't initiate at all. however if I initiate our conversations will flow like normal. she'll be engaged and if i stop replying she'll keep it going.

    Is it rather the quality of the conversation rather then who initiates that is important?

    How worried should i be about her not initiating as much?

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    All that matters is being face to face with her. In the intermediary period light and playful (not sexual) is best. Push to meet up. Doesn't matter who initiates. Don't double text.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  3. #3
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    I like cdharders advice here but I disagree about the double texting.
    Double texting is fine as long as it's not needy or clingy sounding and it's something new to the convo. Basically have strong inner-game and don't be needy sounding and you'll be good.
    Example: hey, roll with me to this awesome pizza place at 6:03pm the stuffed crust is amazing.
    "No reply"
    Double texting again (hours later) would be okay as long as it was something new and fresh to add to the conversation. So texting again something like a cliffhanger would be okay.
    Or if you texted her "call me" and she didn't reply or call you, hours later you could text something again like "I'm crazy busy right now but you would never believe what just happened, you would of loved seeing it. Btw what're you doing."
    Basically though, text less. Use only to set up hangout. Push for hangouts but be playful and fun about it. Be persistant, not needy. Big difference.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    Man girls man. They don't initiate they intimidate. Girls like to put on this tough girl persona but deep down only bad girls will go up and approach a guy. If she initiates then that's a huge ioi as she is investing. Generally girls don't invest until you make them feel all comfy cozy then they start hitting you up like a needy guy. So it's like a role reversal. At first HB's are standoff-ish but once they like you they won't leave you alone.

    Secondly when you got a GF they constantly want to know where you are and stuff. I have heard of guys getting like a ton of missed calls and stuff just for picking up some extra hours at work.

    So really girls are just afraid to talk despite the tough girl persona and the constant blabbing they give their BF's. Those are the perks. But as a man I have to approach the females online or in-field as we are the selectors then they talk 90% of the time. Online is a little more complicated cuz they want Prince Charming but in-field they talk when you hit them up normally. Girls are just shy man. They will talk when you got it going on. No wonder they like confidence! In fact I am feeling a lot more confident in my approaches this year since I know it's girls man that are afraid to talk. But when you go up and talk boom it's like parting the Red Sea you get a earful and depending on your angle they dismiss you in 5 seconds or lead you on for weeks at a time. So I just hang in there knowing they ain't strong like a guy to do anything and they got nothing to say without your words being dissected and disseminated.

    That's what makes me so confident this year. Knowing girls man it's all on what YOU say that determines how long you're staying in there. It almost has nothing to do with them. They take all the attention off what you said and roll with it. That's what's fun about this game. Though they are attention driven and attention seeking we are the ones that make the future. We decide the topics, the approach, the opener, the convo starter, the date, the extent of how fast or slow the relationship will go, the context of everything is done by us until they invest in a mutual giving relationship. We even decide who we want to be with. Girls man are like the fuel to the fire. Don't let it burn you. It's all done with a little skill, a little pain, a little personality and BOOM you got attraction.

    For instance approached a girl on her body and her entire frame was reactionary. It's like a showdown 24/7. This is why they like your polite assertiveness. They like it rough but not like a needy perv type of rough. But a suave kinda rough.

    They dig guys with Mojo ie good Inner Game. Who starts the text? You because you approached her, built attraction and closed her. So again the dissecting your words game they love to play when you text them. Their texts are based on what they think of your tactics since after all you started this whole thing to begin with. Their words hang on yours.

    For instance girls have said to me after I did all the work
    "You want a challenge? Here's a challenge blah blah blah" in-field
    "You are asking all the wrong questions." text
    "That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all night, I have been hit on by douchebags all night." In-field
    "Well I guess you get points for persistence!" text
    "You ask a lot of questions" in-field

    It goes on and on but the point being they are locked into our frame, our state, and our words. It's like they want to watch you like a movie and avoid doing their own thing cuz the attraction is built by the man. That's why I always hear what did you say, you said, you never told me, if you weren't, I'm not interested, no thanks, etc. It's because they put all the attention on me to perform while they are like my movie critics constantly sizing me up. That's partly why they love being sized up cuz they like a good old fashioned challenge.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    Awesome read JackSarge. I think I'm gonna have to save that on a folder somewhere or tattoo the damn thing across my hands so I can read it every day. It makes good sense of us leading every step showing our alpha qualities.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    I have a lot of textig rules I follow. If a girl does not text back, I have to evaluate what I did wrong in the text (did I give her a response that prompted a reply? Was my message confusing? Should I have responded at all to her previous message?) the reason I preach not double-texting is because it gets you into trouble and makes guys lazy because they send out a message and think "whatever, if she doesn't bit, I'll hit her up the next day" rather than focusing on the message and how it could be improved.
    Specifically, I would never message Kyl3's message because it doesn't prompt the girl for a response. Bare minimum to make that message appropriate, there should be a question mark tacked on to the end, so she knows to reply.
    I would never message "Call me" to any girl except maybe my mother if I couldn't get ahold of her and it was an urgent emergency. "Call me" puts a lot of pressure on the girl, so she will likely not respond and now, you are leading her down a path of noncompliance. Call her, and if she doesn't pick up, shoot her a message. Never message call me.

    The best part of Kyl3's advice is his decision to push for the meet up. That's is 100% why you should be texting the girl in the first place. My goal is to set up a meet up with her complying every step of the way and her investing more into the interaction.

    I personally wait 2 weeks before reinitiating a girl who didn't respond because I have a busy life and don't want to put too much value on whether or not she wants to be in it. At 2 week intervals, she knows I'm interested but have options
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    Always be pushing for the meet up once you percieve the shots
    Your text should be charged.
    When a girl is ignoring your texts especially if you asked to do something, ignore and engage few days later.why?a high value male as should be deosn't stick in such interactions.
    Also if she percieves your texts after she doesn't reply as a way of getting to her you may come off creepy even if you had good intentions.best to Freeze Out for a couple and engage.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    Cdharders is right.
    Non-compliance is very bad and you don't want that. Saying "call me" randomly out of the blue is high compliance thing and she most likely won't call you back. It's a lot of pressure like Cdharders said.

    I meant, after a few short texts to test and see how high her compliance in you is and to push for a meet up, but I was tired typing it lol. Basically, if she did call you, that's a huge ioi and she'll do whatever else you want. But, it's still better to call first, & text a charged message like Hardrock said if she doesn't pick up then leave it at that.

  9. #9
    1chance's Avatar
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    thanks gentleman really excellent advice!!

    I've got another girl that I'm involved with that might be on the verge of a breakup. there relationship has been about a year. I've known her about 10 months. and we text once or twice a week.

    how should I go about gaming her if she does breakup? should I wait? if so, how long?

  10. #10
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: How important is who initiates?

    Depends.
    I'm assuming you've built a lot of rapport if you've known her for 10 months and text her once a week. If not, you need to do that. Friend-zone yourself and tell dhv stories and be high value.
    Then run BF-destroyer on her. Xavier has a nice thread on it. Search "Bf destroyer" Once you run the BF-destroyer and she accepts your frame and starts second guessing him, escalate fast and try to get her to hangout ASAP.
    Or
    This is what I would do because this is more my style.
    Make small talk, and ask her how the relationship is going in person. Fluff talk for a second and then tell her very directly that she knows who to call if (whoever her BF name is) starts being an a**hole right? Then brush her shoulder and smile at her and walk away.

    If they break up, she'll call you. Trust me. (Credit to Cody on this)

    Texting her once a week is okay. So keep doing that as long as it's playful and fun.

    Personally, I don't give girls in relationships the time of day. It's not worth the drama if it's only going to be a One Night Stand, & morally, I feel bad breaking somebody up or getting her to cheat on him, but that's for you to decide.


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