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  • 1 Post By msa173

Thread: Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

  1. #1
    timmyt94 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

    Hey guys,
    So i've been messaging back and forth with this girl for a couple days, and it's been going alright. I've made her laugh some, but she hasn't really been making conversation, just answering questions. After a bit of this, I decided to try a Number Close I got from T-Mal on this site, and here is her response, and the following messages

    Me: Yeah, that's awesome. Be honest; how many times have you made the hike to Mordor? What's Saruman like in real life?
    BTW- we've been chatting for a couple days now, & you don't seem like the traditional stalker type.

    AND.... I see a bit of a witty, goofy, somewhat "sassy" side about you. You don't mention it in your profile, but your eyes TOTALLY give it away.

    That said, I'm leaning towards being OK with exchanging digits with you.

    But.... there's one burning question which must be answered first.....

    Her: I haven't made the hikes to any of them but I do like like an hour or so where Rohan was built etc.. haha
    My eyes say sassy???! I never knew that hahaha
    what is the one question?

    Me: Well Lilacscarf92, that question would be: What's your number? ~ haha!
    And just for fun, what was the first concert you ever attended?

    Her:My first concert was Base-hunter and the headlining act was 3oh3 haha
    and maybe a little bit longer with the talking haha maybe

    Me:Hey no problem. Out of all the users on this site named lilacscarf92, you're my favorite haha, so I can be patient.
    So your eyes definitely said "sassy," but they did NOT say that you were the crazy dancer type. I would've thought you would've been the type of girl to enjoy a weekend in a library or something, curled up with a nice book

    Her: Crazy dancer type?

    Me: Yeah, a couple friends of mine went to a basshunter concert and said it was crazy. What was your experience like?

    Her: it was pretty mellow I was only like 16 so I wasn't crazy dancing... no bumping or grinding, just jumping up and down sort of things... It was alright haha

    So as you can see, she really isn't giving any feedback to the conversation, just answering questions. What do you guys recommend here? Is it worth it to continue messaging her, and if so, how should I spark some interest from her?

  2. #2
    msa173's Avatar
    msa173 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

    Quote Originally Posted by timmyt94 View Post
    Hey guys,
    So i've been messaging back and forth with this girl for a couple days, and it's been going alright. I've made her laugh some, but she hasn't really been making conversation, just answering questions. After a bit of this, I decided to try a Number Close I got from T-Mal on this site, and here is her response, and the following messages

    Me: Yeah, that's awesome. Be honest; how many times have you made the hike to Mordor? What's Saruman like in real life?
    BTW- we've been chatting for a couple days now, & you don't seem like the traditional stalker type.

    AND.... I see a bit of a witty, goofy, somewhat "sassy" side about you. You don't mention it in your profile, but your eyes TOTALLY give it away.

    That said, I'm leaning towards being OK with exchanging digits with you.

    But.... there's one burning question which must be answered first.....

    Her: I haven't made the hikes to any of them but I do like like an hour or so where Rohan was built etc.. haha
    My eyes say sassy???! I never knew that hahaha
    what is the one question?

    Me: Well Lilacscarf92, that question would be: What's your number? ~ haha!
    And just for fun, what was the first concert you ever attended?

    Her:My first concert was Base-hunter and the headlining act was 3oh3 haha
    and maybe a little bit longer with the talking haha maybe

    Me:Hey no problem. Out of all the users on this site named lilacscarf92, you're my favorite haha, so I can be patient.
    So your eyes definitely said "sassy," but they did NOT say that you were the crazy dancer type. I would've thought you would've been the type of girl to enjoy a weekend in a library or something, curled up with a nice book

    Her: Crazy dancer type?

    Me: Yeah, a couple friends of mine went to a basshunter concert and said it was crazy. What was your experience like?

    Her: it was pretty mellow I was only like 16 so I wasn't crazy dancing... no bumping or grinding, just jumping up and down sort of things... It was alright haha

    So as you can see, she really isn't giving any feedback to the conversation, just answering questions. What do you guys recommend here? Is it worth it to continue messaging her, and if so, how should I spark some interest from her?
    Hey Timmy I use one of cdharders lines "okcupid is messing up my messages sometimes – what’s your number ?" This way you get more buy in from her. Another suggestion is to get the conversation offline ASAP - there is no point in getting to know her over text.
    Looking for new wings in LA let me know if you want to sarge together.

  3. #3
    timmyt94 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

    I dunno, I don't think she would buy that. I need to find a way to get some buy in from her.

  4. #4
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    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

    You're overthinking things bro. Your mistake was asking two questions in the same message. You gave her an out, and now you're in recovery.

    I usually have the number within 5 messages to the girl. Why? Because you don't need the buy-in you think you do on these sites.

    The girls already like you or they wouldn't be talking to you, and they just need a base-line of comfort in order to give out their number. You qualified too much, which made question marks go off in her head of "Why is this guy explaining himself so much? Is there something wrong with him?"

    Less is more. Nothing you are telling her matters until you are on the date with her. Focus on the meetup rather than random conversation.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  5. #5
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

    The buy-in you need is her agreeing to hang out sometime. Message her about hanging out or grabbing a drink. When she agrees, ask for her number. As it is, you gave her no reason to give out her number.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Okcupid messaging - where to go from here

    I think the biggest issue was probably timing, & lack of attraction/curiosity on her part.

    You said you had been chatting for a couple days & it was going "alright" but she hasn't really been into the convo so much.. mainly just answering questions.

    You don't wanna go for a number if The Vibe isn't totally clicking yet. And it sounds like she wasn't quite in sync with you.

    It's gonna be different with every girl you talk to... so don't expect a consistent time frame or message qty.
    One girl may only take 2-3 messages, and some may take 20-30.

    But when you connect on the right level, things will just flow & you'll know when it's time.



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