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Thread: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

  1. #1
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    Guys, is it OK to slam a girl who sucks at responding to text messages and always says that she is sorry but that she is very busy???
    I've played it very cool and told her that it's OK but it bothers the shit out of me this habit of sending one text message and then dissapearing ..... but I've always thought it's better to think about anything you send when you are annoyed ...... THOUGHTS !?!??!?!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    What do you mean by slamming her? You shouldn't hurt her feelings imo. Just tease her lightly, if she's smart enough she'll get the hint.

    However, there's a whole different possibility to this case. Maybe she just doesn't like you. And she may be trying to avoid you on purpose...
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    I dont think so, we were involved in a six month relationship and she had to go back home to do her PhD, so I do know she is busy and she has always told me that she is bad with emails and texts
    .... what I meant by slam was saying something like "you reall suck at texting ... good thing I like you"

  4. #4
    Marky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    I won't say she's not interested but don't doubt the fact that there is a possibility. Saying "you really suck at texting ... good thing I like you" translates as "You really suck at texting but that's okay just because I like you." Basically you're giving her permission to carry-on texting as she currently is just because YOU LIKE her. If you were to organize a date and she stood you up, would it be okay just because you like her? Nope, it wouldn't. Best thing to do is not to text her until she texts you first. Disinterest should be mirrored, not rewarded.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    I'd call her out on it, for sure. But humor is the best way. Let's say you had a convo that went something like this:

    You: ...So I heard the new Hunger Games movie is pretty legit. Think I should I go see it?
    Her: (no response)
    You: (casually 2 hours later) The movie's THAT bad, eh? Well maybe I should go see (insert movie here) instead!

    When you say that, you're calling her out on her BS. But you're so confident that it doesn't bother you. And when she finally texts back with her, "OMG I am sooo sorry but I am soo busy," BS, make sure you're really busy with other stuff and don't have time to text her back right away. I recommend an IM sport.

  6. #6
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    The fact that it is bothering you is the bigger issue. It shouldn't, and you'll have to find a place where it doesn't. May that be shutting off your phone for a while, texting other girls, or keeping busy some other way away from your phone, you have to relieve that feeling.

    Not getting a text back can be such a b**** sometimes, but it's what your mind is doing that is really getting to you. "Why hasn't she responded? Does she not like me? What did I do wrong? Was that text bad? Is she with another guy?" On and on. That's some inner game stuff, gotta find a way to slam the door on that sh!t, then you'll find you won't need to slam her at all. Your text was fine, it doesn't matter is she responds, she'll get back when she can, your busy anyway.

    If you really find it necessary to slam her (and I can see the side of that after a six month relationship) do it after she responds and make it seem like you couldn't care less, this will get to her more than calling her out. "oh I'm so busy, I'm sorry, I've been away from my phone." "Haha, I forgot we were texting, get back to work slacker "

  7. #7
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    Bballking ~ YOU ARE RIGHT ..... one thing I learned from PUA is DON'T LET SHIT BOTHER and more importanly if it does DON'T LET HER KNOW IT BOITHERS YOU .... I think I'll stop texting for awhile ....Thanks for the advice fellas !!!!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    Guys, is it OK to slam a girl who sucks at responding to text messages and always says that she is sorry but that she is very busy???
    I've played it very cool and told her that it's OK but it bothers the shit out of me this habit of sending one text message and then dissapearing ..... but I've always thought it's better to think about anything you send when you are annoyed ...... THOUGHTS !?!??!?!
    don't reward bad behavior. don't tell her its ok not to text you back. but don't bust her on it either.

    instead just ignore her for a little while or be busy next time she texts you. she'll take the hint.

    odds are either she's telling the truth and she hates texting, or your texting convos are boring. you have to be able to stimulate her emotionally with your every text otherwise there is no reason why she should even text you back.

    always remember that she isn't obligated to text you. don't get upset when she doesn't message you back. instead just text some of your other friends or even another girl.

    whatever you do, don't let her mind fark you. all these doubtful feelings you have because of this will only cloud your judgment. you have to stay strong and not be too attached to any outcome.

    btw I think it would be good for you to remember this old adage "he who cares the least holds the power in the relationship"
    it is very true to this day. you may have over-invested in this relationship and thus given her all the power.

  9. #9
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    meteora ~ let me just say one thing .... my texts are NEVER boring , I think thats what irritates me that I put a lot of work and thought into what I am going to text .... I know she needs to get a smart phone because she uses her iPad to text and of course she doesnt always have it with her .... but I think a little Freeze Out would be good ....Thanks for the advice .... it's good to come here for opinions before you say or do something stupid

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Is it ok to slam a girl for being lame

    Here, I can answer this one from personal experience: DON'T DO IT. I have called out girls on being unresponsive, and I have tried all sorts of different ways with different girls. Needless to say, none of it ever works, and sometimes it can even tick her off. Girls, and guys alike, don't like to get called out for not doing something that they have no obligation to do.

    There's a way I like to approach these kind of girls, and that's what I call the Step Down approach to texting. It literally works by investing almost as much energy into a text message as the other person. If she sends you one worded messages, don't send her any back. If she responds to a message in an hour, respond back in an hour and a half.

    Overall though, I would agree with Mortal. The main problem is you're "letting" this girl get a rise out of you because she is not investing anything at all into the conversation (and when I mean letting, I mean that you are creating this feeling yourself). You have GOT to move on from her, and don't think anything more of it. Sticks in the mud are no fun at all, and if you're not having fun while doing pickup, you're not doing it right!
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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