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Thread: drunk texting issue

  1. #41
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    I keep at least 6-8 girls (usually more) in my rotation.
    So if one of them starts to fall flat, I don't care.

    But I flirt right from the start. So I set the tone immediately as being fun & playful. If they respond, I've already established that frame.

    If they're not into it, I know right away & I don't spin my wheels on something that's gonna fizzle out after a lot of effort.

    Although, sometimes I keep those "tough ones" in rotation, just to experiment with. I'll let 'em go cold & then after a couple weeks, re-initiate with a silly message just to see what happens.
    (Sometimes that 2nd round sparks a fire)



    .


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  2. #42
    LAMEtext is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    great tips man, I have currently two girls where I'm flirt texting with... just with her it seems not to work.

    Now, I just saw her facebook post about "people asking her to come to LA... blabla" so I texted her the following:

    ME: "Ideal! Because I really suck at it and you would've definitely owned me! -smiley-"
    ME: "Btw, I just saw your facebook post about people stalking you to go to LA don't worry, I will not bother you any further -wink-"

    SHE: "It's not personally meant to you "
    SHE: "If I want to say something to you I'd just say it and not by a fb post "

    ME: "haha allright then! "
    ME: "anyway, does this mean the offer is still on, or shall I book another vacation? "

    SHE: "haha"
    SHE: "Are you sure you want to come for me or for the exclusive parties, free drinks you need and the places and stars you'd like to visit? "

    ME: "As if those parties bother me for a second that LA lifestyle is nothing for me, even how cool it looks! "
    ME: "I just used them as an excuse, so it would be less obvious I'm coming for you "
    ME: "Look, this might sound really stupid, because I only know you from that one moment.. and text/skype, but you looked like a really nice person! And nowadays that's just really rare... even if you would be on the south pole, I'd still book a flight "

    How hard did I fark this up?

    Even if I did, I felt a lot more comfortable texting this way... and since long it feels like she finally texts me "normal" again. I think my GAME-texts really bothered her... maybe she's just looking for someone casual?

    HELP ME T-MAL

  3. #43
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    LAME, I wouldn't give up too much on the other one. I see her pattern already. Short lines and fast response. Yes, she is a textaholic and it could also mean she is multi-tasking, either texting multiple ppl at the same time or at design workshop. It doesn't mean she likes you any less.

    If I recalled, she did initiate text with you, which is a huge ioi.

    Keep her in the rotation and try to seal the deal about LA.

    Also, don't fall into the entertainer trap that so many newbies make. You don't want to be a clown. I made this mistake long time ago and it turned the girl off.

  4. #44
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    yeah, that's exactly what I've been doing. I wanted to be hilarious in every text. And it just didn't feel natural at all... I will keep you guys updated. Very curious about what she's going to respond!

    If it's another short reply.... what should I do?

  5. #45
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    You were actually doing OK until that last exchange.
    You came off as over-eager & needy.

    When she asked you about the parties, you could have said:
    "Ok fine! I'll be your date to all those fancy parties... you don't have to beat around the bush. "


    Something more playful & confident.
    That would also have shifted the "power" of the interaction to you.


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  6. #46
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    I.M.Mortal made a great point...

    There's a big difference between being fun, playful & engaging so that the girl wants to continue the interaction... and being her source of entertainment / clown.

    I personally do try to make every text fun. But my interaction with a girl right from the very beginning is also fun & flirty.

    I don't waste time with small chit-chat & routines.
    If she responds positively, then it's on!

    If she doesn't? I let it go & move on to the next girl.


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  7. #47
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    Update: the damage is done.

    She never replied on the last texts I sent her. Which I find rude, because I found those texts quite nice/friendly.

    then after 3 days she texts me:

    SHE: "Why is it that if I go online on Skype you also suddenly come online? "

    (in find this a very offensive text, she's basicly saying I'm stalking her. BTW, I have not been on skype for the last month, and at that time I was on my way home from work... so I could not be online...)

    ME: "You see things you'd like to see I have no time for skype, just got into my car "

    SHE: "haha i don't know every time I'm online you pop up online too"

    (at this point I had a friend of mine helping me text her, I felt offended. And he told me there's a point you have to become arrogant, and stop being friendly.. he's succesfull with picking up girls, so I wanted to give it a shot)

    ME: "You don't have to even think you're that special that I would even consider taking the time for going online every time ;-)"

    (for me personally this was too rude, but hey, I wasn't getting anywhere with my current texts... so I found it worth a try)

    SHE: ";-)"
    SHE: "That's rude"
    SHE: "It was just a question"

    ME: ";-)"

    SHE: "?"
    SHE: "Weird"

    ME: "Well no, I found it a really weird question"

    SHE: "That's still no reason to reply like that"
    SHE: "Whatever, bye"

    (she had told me she has issues with having a bad temperament/mood, then she just leaves and ignores you... so after bringing her down from her pedestal, we wanted to fix things a little bit)

    ME: "You don't have to bother as much, you know well enough I do like you! You just gave me the feeling like I'm just like one of the other guys. I find your temperament very cute "

    ----------------

    She never replied to this one, which I totally expected. Is this a lost cause?

    Yesterday she posted following quote on facebook (no idea if it's directed towards me...) :

    "Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got"

    Anyway, the usual:

    1) what did I do wrong?
    2) is it okay to attempt to bring her down from her pedestal? (how should it be done?)
    3) Can I expect her to ever iniate again?
    4) if no, is it worth initiating contact myself? (or is this a lost one..)
    5) anything else you want to add...

    Cheers guys!

  8. #48
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    Any advice guys? Not sure if I should text her or not..

  9. #49
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    Sorry, late response. Comp was down.

    1) what did I do wrong?
    2) is it okay to attempt to bring her down from her pedestal? (how should it be done?)
    3) Can I expect her to ever iniate again?
    4) if no, is it worth initiating contact myself? (or is this a lost one..)
    1. The biggest mistake you made was not being congruent. One thing I learned from my past mistakes is stay true to yourself and be the best of yourself. When you asked your friend to send her the text, it's not really you. Nothing is sh1ttier than getting blown out when it is not you. If you got blown out, then you got blown out by being yourself. So you shouldn't have asked a friend because what he says is congruent to how he is as a person. If he is arrogant, then the girls he is successful in getting are girls who are attracted to that, but it's not going to work on all girls. Your girl was attracted to you.

    2. It is okay to bring her down from her pedestal. This question was like a Sh1t Test that women says to guys to break his frame. You answer it like any other Sh1t test. But you do it subtly in a playful/funny fashion.

    "Hey quit stalking me! Can a guy watch porn in peace? There's this hot french girl who said she will take her clothes off for me without me paying 99 cents a minute." (turn the tables on her.)

    or reflect her question with another question. Change the topic to something completely irrelevant and off-the-wall.

    "Why is the sky blue?"

    She will be like "huh?"

    OR

    If you couldn't think of anything, then don't answer. When in doubt don't answer. But you lost your frame there and let it get to you.

    3) Assume "No"

    4) You can re-initiate but give it some time so she cools down from a bruised ego. And when you do, just play it off as if nothing happened. Just key lock sequence.

    5) Stop letting whether she responds to you affect you. If you read that Magnetic Messaging book you bought, it's one of the important pointers of texting. When you have expectations of a response, then that is a sign of neediness. You need to stop caring of the outcome. Just think of your text as a heat-seeking missle. Fire and Forget.

  10. #50
    LAMEtext is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: drunk texting issue

    Thanks for the reply man, I did the following while awaiting your reply:

    (after 7 days)

    ME: "There was this wild cat sitting at our front door and it made me think of you! your mom is almost in LA isn't she?! Hopefully she's capable of smuggling your cats through customs ;-)"

    (after 2 days)

    SHE: "haha yes almost "

    (after 3 days)

    ME: "Enjoy your time with your mum! I've risked buying myself this Tom Ford perfume and I fear that I've got a new favourite designer how's your fashion training going?"

    (within the hour)

    SHE: "Thx!!"
    SHE: "Yes very fun currently in class"

    (1 hour later)

    SHE: "Haha yes perfume is not really fashion "

    (1 hour later)

    ME: "Huhh?? You have a training on Sunday? crazy!! (shocked whatsapp emoticon) and I felt fashionable for the entire weekend... thx, now I have to make a new investment "

    (instant reply)

    SHE: "Haha"

    Analysis:

    So I think I'm getting back in the game, I'm slowly building up my rotation too (texting with 5 girls now).
    Also I really liked the instant reply on my text, I just think she's way to busy at the moment (her mom is coming over + she's following so many courses... and living the life in LA)

    My goal is no longer to get to LA, instead, she's coming back to Europe by the end of June. If I can fix a date by then, my mission has succeeded. This also gives me more time to improve my game.

    In the meanwhile I'll try to stay on her radar and maybe fix another Skype session in about 2-3 weeks.

    Any feedback is more than welcome!


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