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  • 1 Post By JustStartingOut

Thread: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

  1. #1
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
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    Exclamation So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    Basically split up with my gf of 2 1/2 years. She said she loves me but isn't in love anymore. A couple hours later at night she told me she was sorry and was hoping I was okay. I said I'm okay and asked if she was okay. She said no and called me crying.

    She said she is afraid of losing me and wants to be sure she wants to be with me if we decide to make it work. She said she thought of me with someone else, no being with me and no holding me and seeing me. She said she was afraid of losing me. She told me that she was feeling like she made a mistake and I said maybe we should take some space. And she agreed space would be perfect for her to clear her head. We are going to a close friends bday on Friday so I can't avoid that. But I said after that we will go back to taking space and she agreed.

    Am I playing this no contact thing right? The fact that she is already questioning her decision seems good to me. Also, what do I do when she messages me?

    She's posting a bunch of stuff of depressing love songs every where like on twitter, her blog, etc. She won't delete the pictures of us off everything but it's not her current display picture. I've been trying to be as non reactive as possible. I hope I'm doing okay because I love her and would love to get back together. Right now I'm gonna focus on my self but I'm just wondering if my approach is correct.

    What I also realized is she lost attraction and interest. I wasn't who I used to be and I need to work on that aspect of myself again so that's what I'll continue to do as long as I need too.

    I'm just not sure how to act when she breaks NC, when she goes to that party on Friday with me, or what to do when she posts those depressing/I miss you song lyrics Etc, or how to even play this out? I feel like it's starting off decent but who knows. I just hope that she finds she made a mistake for sure and she realizes she wants to be with me. For now I'm just assuming being nonreactive and working on myself is best. But what happens when she reinitiates?

    Thanks in advance guys

  2. #2
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    Default Re: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    It's hard to say what to do. The PUAs will tell you to meet as many girls as you can in this phase, and game the shit out of her, seeing if you're really right for each other.

    If she's not sure about wanting to be with you, I'd ask myself whether you guys are right for each other. I mean, anybody can make it work with anybody, but some people just click better. You wouldn't wanna marry this girl and find out later she's been bored in your marriage and is considering divorce, would you? Especially if there's some girl out there who clicks better with you?

    I'd say, you found out the easy way. Now use this as an opportunity to up your game, and live the single life, while she's figuring her BS out. I know it's hard, but time apart will help make it easier.

  3. #3
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    Alright man I don't know what I'm gonna do I guess moving on is easier said than done

  4. #4
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    Default Re: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    Moving on is WAY easier said then done. You're right.

    Stay non-reactive, you're doing great.

    You guys agreed to space, so give her ALL the space she wants. I mean, put a freaking galaxy between you 2. You want to create a huge void in her life. You want her to feel the loss, & to feel like crap. You want her to miss you like crazy.
    Stay no contact whatsoever.
    When you see her at the Christmas party, be very nice and warm to her. Then go talk to other girls at the party, then go back and talk to her again. Rinse and repeat the entire night.
    You're single, so technically, you do what you want even if you both still harbor feelings for each other.
    Change your Facebook profile pic to just yourself.
    Same with twitter.
    Then post pictures of you having a blast without her.
    Read Cody"a post on how to get your ex back stickied on the forums.
    Just click the how to get your ex back category it should be at the top.
    Make that your entire life.

    Wait until she contacts you. If she doesn't, then contact her in 2 weeks asking to hangout as just friends and catch up, if she flakes, let her go.
    She'll come back around.

    Personally, from my own experience if you go no contact and stay non-reactive the minute you 2 break up, she'll contact you no matter what with-in 3 months of the break up asking to hang out. It's like a trigger in their heads.
    The happier you act in the mean time, the faster the process.
    Even if you fark 30 girls in the mean time, she'll want you back.
    So have fun, go out, she'll come back around I can almost promise it.

  5. #5
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    Yeah it's weird man I don't even know if we are on a break or are just nothing? I kind of want to ask her and clarify? Should I?


    She left her Facebook on my computer so I let my curiosity kill me until I checked it. She's trying to buy concert tickets for valentines day and I thought I was gonna get her back sooner with how our phone call went. Also she's been asking her friend for advice and she's freaking out they won't reply to her. I'm just so torn right now I was feeling kind of good before that. Now I don't think we'll be going to that party together anymore.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    Umm don't ask. You need to be the leader in a relationship, not her.

    I feel for you man.

    I would just act like you guys are nothing, but that's because I'm more pessimistic when it comes to situations like these. It's not a big deal man that she's buying concert tickets, so why are you caring about that? She's going to have fun without you. You need to do the same, but x10.
    I'd keep her Facebook on your computer, it'd be interesting to see what she'd say to her friends about you. Lol
    But it could possibly really hurt you if she's moving on faster or talking to some dude on there.
    You need to read Cody's thread. It'll give you hope. Seriously.

  7. #7
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: So screwed, NC can it work? Need help please

    Well we talked and she said she doesn't want to be together but we should both take time to think I said no thank you I'm done with all of this and she started to cry and said bye and I hung up the phone. I was sick of her bossing me around. No more beta shit. If she wants me she better come crawling back. I'm moving on with this. I also won't be replying to her until she is begging


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