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  • 1 Post By dave_xxx

Thread: okcupid conversation help

  1. #1
    timmyt94 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default okcupid conversation help

    hey guys,
    I need some advice on what my next step should be in this conversation with this HB8 on okcupid. it wasn't great conversation; i didn't get too much buy-in from her. here's the convo:

    me: Ok, a couple things; one, a dental hygienist, research facility manager, and a teacher? When do you sleep haha. Also, you volunteer every week AND you like to travel? I mean...this feels a little catfish-y to me.

    her: lol I wish It were but I don't want to waste my life so I stay busy
    me: So what's your secret? Coffee? Sugar? Meth? (hopefully it's not meth)
    her: no secret.. Just living life. I don't drink much coffee unless you count my one tea In the morning.. I am a dental hygienist so sugar Is definitely a no go for me.. and meth no thanks. =)
    me: No sugar?! I don't know if you're really "living life" if you don't occasionally snack on a reeses peanut butter cup or something .
    her: occasionally I do lol
    me: So when you aren't working three jobs at once, what do you like to do for fun?
    her :I am on a figure skating team and I am In choir =)
    me: Wow, a woman of many talents . What kind of songs does your choir do?
    her: We do all sorts depending on the concert
    me: Nice. I was in a choir in 7th and 8th grade. I wish my voice was better now, singing is a good time!
    So, since your favorite food ever is mashed potatoes, that means your ideal first date would be at KFC...right?
    her: No lol
    me: Haha, ok, we can save KFC for another time. How about a drink instead?

    it's at this point she doesn't respond. I said whatever; this wasn't one of my better conversations anyway, move on to the next one. then, she replies, a week after my last message, and says:
    her: Hey sorry my computer and phone broke at the same time the last few days so ive been trying to catch up on work now that I at least have my phone fixed

    So, any advice where to go from here? even this message isn't a answer to my question, more of an explanation to why she didn't respond sooner. is this salvageable?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    It's actually not a bad interaction... but it was still a little more "job-interview-ish" than you should go.

    Also- some girls just don't buy in right away.
    But it looks like you went for "the date" too soon.

    Her attraction level didn't appear to be up enough to get a yes.
    Did you suggest a meet up BEFORE you even have her number?... just wondering. If so, that was definitely jumping the gun a bit.

    I'd recommend being a little more patient & work on building attraction.

    So start getting more flirty.



    .


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  3. #3
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    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    Your interaction turned into an interview. As you invested more and more she started to invest less. You also made her sound like a superwoman that's out of your league by listing her occupations and being amazed that she could do all three.

    You needed to flirt and tease her more right from the outset.

    "Hey, you look like the type that would use the same gloves that you use at the Research facility and re-use them at the dental office, giving a whole new meaning to double dipping but just on your on your enemies I hope "

    Challenge her !!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    The double-dipping comment is just SOOOOO gross!
    I love it! LOL!


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  5. #5
    timmyt94 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    haha, damn, the double dipping one is pretty great.

    T-mal - yeah, i did ask for the meet up before the number. so I rushed a little haha.

    So where would you guys go from here? Is there any way i can open the convo back up to a lighter, more teasing tone?

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    Oh yeah, that's totally possible.
    I've re-opened girls a year later & longer. So it can absolutely be done.

    Your main objective is to get her having so much fun even just by chatting with you, that she can't wait to meet up.

    You can get girls to practically beg to give you their number & beg to meet up. It's not difficult at all... it just requires a little patience & a lot of flirting to build attraction.



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  7. #7
    timmyt94 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    Yeah, that makes sense. So would you maybe try to incorporate a tease about her phone and computer being broke at the same time? I'm not awesome at teasing, I think I cross the line too much and just come off as a dick.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: okcupid conversation help

    You're letting her lead the conversation. Knocking her or bringing up KFC or meth is really not enticing or adding value.

    1) Avoid long conversations on OKcupid. Move it towards calling her, messaging, meeting up etc.
    2) Ensure you start giving her a picture of who you potentially are. Don't be afraid to boast. Don't be juvenile. Girls like mature men for a reason. Subtley advertise your core virtues.
    3) You didn't move too fast in asking for a date, you just didn't ask for a date in the right way and there were no hooks for her to feel motivated to meet you.
    4) Your placing way too much value on her. Try not to act so eager. You want her to be eager to meet you. You have to give her an attractive hook and bait.

    her: lol I wish It were but I don't want to waste my life so I stay busy
    me: good. So when you aren't working 32 jobs at once, what do you like to do for fun?
    her: I am on a figure skating team and I am In choir =)
    me: Maybe you could start an ice skating choir team, I'd pay to see that (or alternatively flirt: 'nice legs, nice voice, nice teeth') (or be confident 'Do you have any photos of you skating?')
    her: lol
    me: I personally love skiing. I also sing in a band...we are going to do some recording this weekend at the studio. (or insert whatever you are good at, leadership etc)
    her: (hopefully she will be curious) What kind of music do you play? (try get her to start asking you questions)
    me: Original songs. It's a fusion between funk and reggae.
    her: cool
    me: It's awesome fun. Our music is groovy, easy to dance to.
    her: Where do you play?
    me: Various places around town, sometimes events. It's a hobby. Naturally my job as CEO of microsoft is what pays the bills
    her: Maybe I can come and watch your performance
    me: Sure, as long as you don't start singing choirgirl backing vocals (neg hit)
    her: lol I won't
    me: I have to run, nice chatting to you (time constraint)
    her: ok you too, bye!

    Obviously I'm just making this up and its not a perfect example or anything but just showing how you can turn it from her back to you and how to insert your virtues (strong, talented, stable job, fit, intelligence, humor etc).

    Next time you get chatting after that and she shows some interest simply ask her out. If she starts to say things like 'I'm not sure, I'm busy' pan her off immediately and concentrate on other girls.

    Whether in real life or a dating site a girl will usually decide if she wants to be with you based primarily on your looks and socio economic status. Girls will usually subtley let you know they are keen and if they aren't move on.


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