Re: Brought HB 8 home from the bar...
If you're able to bring someone home from the bar then you should be able to text her a simple, witty or cheesy text message. Tell her you're having a pillow fight tournament and you want her to come or that you're planning on sailing around the world and you need someone to buy candy for you while you're in port.
If you have any sort of imagination this should be easy for you.
"You know what my dream for this summer is? To have all the girls that you and I have farked this summer out on the SS Vagina."
"That is the dream. It'll be one big mess of bad decisions and failed relationships."
"We're the guys you don't introduce your parents to."