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Thread: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

  1. #1
    Goat90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    Hey,

    I've been texting with this girl I met few days ago, she asked me out because I wasn't replying quickly enough.

    So I said something like :
    Okay, but first round's on you!

    And she replied with :
    First time, I see someone asking a girl to pay for a drink sorry I am to traditional for that!

    What should I reply?
    Should I play on the fact I'm "unique" ?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    If you've been getting to know her through text, you're not strangers.
    It's totally OK to buy a drink on a "date"...

    The only time you don't want to offer to buy a drink is when you FIRST meet a girl when you're out at a club or somewhere similar.

    To salvage this, you could try texting back, "How about we thumb-wrestle to see who's buyin'? "

    Then let her win & just buy the first round.

    You're not a chump when you pay for drinks or lunch or dinner, when you're going on a "date".

    ONLY when you don't know a thing about a girl & have never even talked to her or communicated with her before. (Or within the first 5 minutes of meeting her.)


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    If she's a traditional girl, then I would pick fun at her a little bit about it, but I'd ultimately respect that about her. Just tell her something like, "Well, Ms. Tradish, I guess I'll buy you a drink... if you're lucky " Then when you get to the bar, hold out for as long as you can before buying her a drink hahahahaha

    Have fun with it, man! Remember, too, you can buy her all the drinks in the world, as long as you keep the right vibe. The right vibe can make any otherwise tool gesture into a smooth move. Just last Saturday at the bar, I offered to buy drinks for two really hot girls that I had only known for 2 minutes... However I also offered to buy their guy friend a beer, too. It was perfectly cool, since it was done in the right vibe: I'm a well-paid alpha dude providing for my people, even people I just met. That's how nice I am. Nothing about my gesture said, "I'm a tool that'll do anything for your favor." See the HUGE difference in vibe?

    Just don't let your vibe turn tool! You know what to do.

  4. #4
    Goat90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    Hey guys thanks for the tips

    I tried the "thumb-wrestle" thing and she totally freaked out she replied by ending her message with ciao and then she deleted me from facebook (wtf oO)

    So I stepped back :
    It was meant to be funny. I was not trying to be a jerk at any cost... I'm sorry if I shocked you it was not my point here. (I got the ciao. I'm just being a man and apologizing).

    She replied : Ow ok wrong intrepretation then from my side appologies accepted
    And she re-added me on facebook.

    What do you think? Should I just ignore the fact this just happened? Or ?

    (Is she playing me with? Or ?)

  5. #5
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    I don't understand why people are stressing so much on the FB friending/Unfriending thing. Social networking sites are mostly counter productive depending on how most people use them so never put too much emphasis on FB friends list.

    You tried to flirt with her and it flew past her head and she pulled the trigger quickly by cutting all ties. I say move on and find someone who knows how to flirt with a decent sense of humour and is worth your time and a drink.

  6. #6
    Goat90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    I was just surprised how quickly she turned around, I don't expect much from Facebook, I just though the reaction was pretty childish.

    Anyway as you said I think i'll just move on, her reaction kinda turned me down...
    I just wanted to get things clear since we frequent the same places, didn't want any awkward situation.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    Dude! Her reaction to that interaction is A HUGE red flag. Move on, she's already showing signs of emotional volatility. That text T-MAL gave you is totally fun/flirty and really hard to misinterpret.

    You did nothing wrong. I actually did the exact same thing as you a couple months ago. This girl wanted me to come to the bar but I told her only if she bought me a drink. She ended up buying me three and I hooked up with her that night!

    T-Mal and I have somewhat differing views on this. I have payed for drinks and stuff on dates before, and sometimes I don't. I've had success both ways but I usually don't like to pay on the first date if I don't really know the girl. I'll tell the bartender "these will be separate." If she says she doesn't have money I razz her "You came to get drinks and you didn't bring any money?! (Big smile). Make it playful and they don't mind.

    The whole thing for me is I don't like the fact that men are supposed to pay and I don't want to pay if I don't know the girl very well. It creates the impression that we are "lucky" to be hanging out with the woman so we should pay for her. It's also a form of prostitution. Pay for her drinks and dinner a few times and then you get to sleep with her.

    Either way you can do both, but if you pay, make sure it's not allot of money and you are fine. If you don't want to pay, be playful about it, and if she gives you a hard time razz her a bunch and don't let it affect you and you will be fine.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    Holy crap, sounds like a psycho. Seriously, she deletes you from facebook... did this girl just turn 17? My advice is to run.
    I wish I was little bit taller
    I wish I was a baller
    I wish I had a girl who looked good
    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  9. #9
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    Quote Originally Posted by Goat90 View Post
    Hey guys thanks for the tips

    I tried the "thumb-wrestle" thing and she totally freaked out she replied by ending her message with ciao and then she deleted me from facebook (wtf oO)

    So I stepped back :
    It was meant to be funny. I was not trying to be a jerk at any cost... I'm sorry if I shocked you it was not my point here. (I got the ciao. I'm just being a man and apologizing).

    She replied : Ow ok wrong intrepretation then from my side appologies accepted
    And she re-added me on facebook.

    What do you think? Should I just ignore the fact this just happened? Or ?

    (Is she playing me with? Or ?)
    I would apologize,but not add her back or text her back,ever,unless she starts chasing,I mean thumb wrestling had her freaked out,really ?Be careful,you might touch her waist and she'll scream rape.

  10. #10
    Goat90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I messed this up by asking her to pay the first round?

    I found her reaction very childish too, and it scares me. (she's ~25yo)

    She iniated the convervation lately(ioi?), ask me out(IOI?) and then freaked out when I said she would have to pay me a drink or play thumb-wrestl to know who'd have to pay... (gold digger? or just bad mood?)

    I think as suggested I'll pass my turn.


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