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Thread: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

  1. #1
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Alright guys I know what you're thinking.. I'm usually one of the guys giving frequent online dating advice around here. I get it. However, Facebook is different in so many ways.. I've used it a few times, I probably have 5 to 10 girls on my Facebook just from randomly adding them over the years. In fact, I even went on a date recently with a girl that I added like 3 years ago. So I HAVE had some success with it. However, this situation is a little different.

    I was searching for a particular girl that I met at a party when I came across an absolutely stunning girl in her early 20's. Like, so so sooo hot. HB11. The perfect girl. She was hot, had awesome pictures, her profile was clearly 100% real, and she was even mutual friends with a girl I know who used to have a thing for me, so, given that she asked about me upon me adding her, I know she would get only good feedback about me. So naturally I did what anyone would do: I added her. This was about a week ago.

    Yesterday I log into the Book of Faces and what do ya know? "Friend request accepted, you are now friends with *girlyouwanttobangso hard*". Anyways.. So I was stoked. In fact I think I even let out an "Awwww shit, it's so on!" and then proceeded to dry hump my coffee table.

    So here's my thing when it comes to Facebook. As most of you know.. I have no problem opening on POF or any dating site, I can pretty much stir up any type of conversation and get a phone number. So why am I a little stifled with this situation? Well, how do you approach it effectively? I immediately made the decision to wait a day to open her. Opening her yesterday with a message would be too soon considering I added her a week ago, might look like I've been waiting eagerly for her to add me. Not good.

    Taking it slow and liking/commenting on her status's/pics etc before actually sending a message is another option. Again though, that strikes me as needy and kind of lame. So, I think the best way would be to message her this afternoon and just be a cool ass motherfarker, like it's no big deal. My profile and pics are good on FB so my chances aren't that bad I figure. I still feel like it's weird adding a random on Facebook and then chatting her up.. It poses huge obstacles right off the bat.

    Here's my question and the main reason why I'm posting this. When I open, what do you guys think is the best approach? Do I tell her straight up that I added her because I think she's beautiful and I'd like to get to know her? Do I say that I actually thought she was a different *hername* and that I added her by accident, but since she's such a cutie I thought I'd say hello? (Kinda leaning towards a variation of this) Or do I take some other angle? Perhaps using one of my dating site openers would even work here.. I want to be able to shift the conversation into my usual cocky/funny/smartass non-chalant fun interaction as quickly as I can without any BS.

    So, do I go direct?.. Or do I beat around the bush a little to Take Away any thought that I'm a weirdo? Remember guys, this girl is very very ridiculously hot. I'm gonna have to essentially blow her mind in this convo if she's even gonna consider giving me her phone number. I think that's why I'm thinking I should stay away from being too direct. She probably gets that every day.

    Anyone else get that feeling that adding girls on FB and then chatting them up is weird? I've always mostly just stayed away from it. Makes me feel dirty. Lol.

    Discuss! And thanks for reading.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Unless she's liked 400 different "ADD ME" pages, she's probably not used to it, and if you play it off well, it'll be a unique way to open her.

    That being said, all the options I saw you throw down seemed like (from what I've read and understand) a huge no-no. Do you ever call a girl a cutie or beautiful or say "Hey girl" on POF? Nope. It's still "online dating" only it feels more like a random encounter than an "I'm looking for a farking boyfriend" encounter. So it *could* be more natural if you play it right.

    Also, I figure honesty is usually the best policy, so saying you thought she was a different one may come out later and bite you in the ass. Again it could work if you play it correctly, but my gut would say no to that.

    What you know:
    -She added you. There's a reason for that. How many friends does she have? Does she seem like the kind of person who would accept friends just to build up her popularity? Take a look at her friends, see if some of them perhaps did EXACTLY what you did, and she just accepted them. Find a few AFCs on her friendlist and see if they have any connection or they're just weirdos who added her and she accepted.

    -If she doesn't have weirdos who don't seem connected to her (family friend, friend of a friend, etc.) then I say you're good to go, she doesn't just add anyone. Which, again, means she added *you* for a reason.

    I would say Own It once you've done the research, but open her differently. Don't come off as a douchebag who's wanking as he's talking to her, but also don't just call her beautiful and expect her to respond. She's a HB11, of course she knows she's beautiful. Maybe mention one of her posts, how well written it is, etc. (taking this from your OWN advice dude, lol), make it flirty, etc.

    I dunno, I'm rambling.

    *as a sidenote, if you'd take a look at my thread just below yours I'd appreciate it *

  3. #3
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    I hear what you're saying about being direct. I would never open a girl directly like that online.. Although I have heard of it working for other guys. Probably not with girls of this category though. I have actually used the "added you by mistake line" before, used properly it can work.

    Facebook isn't "online dating", it's simply online. You are coming from way out of left field by doing this on Facebook, it's in no way necessarily expected or, for that matter, acceptable. She's not using the internet for dating purposes by being on Facebook, so I have to disagree with you there.

    She has like 700 friends.. I'll skim through and try to gauge whether or not she's adding randoms frequently or not. Didn't really consider that one.

    Thanks. I'll check out your thread, sir.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Well lets start with the obvious. You have nothing to lose so do whatever you want!

    I did something similar to this a couple years ago. I added this super hot go-go dancer I found because we had a few mutual friends. She was very intelligent so I would comment some insightful remarks on some of her statuses, would like a status here and there, and would playfully neg her occasionally. There would always be some AFC's that would comment on her photo's telling her how "hot" she was. I made sure I NEVER did that.

    She ended up making a new facebook (I'm guessing because she had over 1,000 friends on her old one) and she added me immediately. This is when she only had like 50-100 friends on the new one. I took this as a BIG ioi. She never "liked" or commented on any of my comments for AT LEAST the first six months, then occasionally she would comment back or like something of mine (another big IOI). I could have easily started FB chatting with her and got her number but I didn't. I was waiting to see her in person at a show because she attends, or is a go-go dancer at allot of shows I attend. Sadly this never happened and I got rid of my FB. That's all the advice I can give you, but I WOULDN'T go direct. The only direct thing I would possibly say, if she asks you why you added her, would be to tell her she looked extremely interesting because of xxxx (something that has nothing to do with her looks).

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Don't go direct and definitely don't do a slow roll by liking her shit (this isn't needy, it's stalker).

    Direct will come off as creepy on FB. You can't be physical or give body language cues, so instead, you need to go indirect. My suggestion would be something along the lines of:

    "Well damn! I meant to add a girl I met at this party last week, but added you by mistake. Lose one, find another, I guess?"

    Obviously, I have no idea what she's like, but this DHVs and disqualifies her right off the bat. I also like how it puts her in the precarious position of not knowing what the relationship was between the other girl and you--she doesn't know if you were just friends or romantically involved.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Thanks Duke, pretty much exactly what I was leaning toward.

    I should add that upon looking more closely at her photos, she had a boyfriend up until at least November of last year, that's where the pics of them seem to stop.

    Her status is Single right now. This is a good sign.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    If you want to go for the "serendipity" approach, you may want to act relatively quickly with some sort of opener, I think it'll lose it's flavor after a week or so, like you were nervous to approach, etc. Either that or, given that long, it'll seem hashed and obvious.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Yep. Today is the day haha. I agree.

    I'll let you guys know

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    Well, I have good news and bad news..

    Bad news first.. She doesn't live where he FB currently says she lives. She lives 200 miles away, in the city listed in her "From" section.. So brutal.

    Good news is the convo is going extremely well. Basically nailing it. She seems quite interested. All I can do is ask if she ever comes out this way after I find out why she's listed as living here.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 29's voyage into being that random guy who added her on FB..

    how'd you decide to go about opening it?
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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