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  • 2 Post By LAMEtext
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  • 1 Post By TheDuke
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Thread: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

  1. #1
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    I'll post me and the girl's text and someone critique it for me:

    Me:Hey, you never did tell me about that book you were reading( some book she was reading and never told me what it was about)

    Herh I didn't?

    Memg, you got the memories of a 70 years old lady!!!!

    Her: I've been told

    Me: alright let's get back to you explaining that book to me now.

    Her: I just started it

    Me: who cares, let's hear about the stories of the 10 pages you've read so far

    Her:idk these two kids randomly turned Intl zombies at school and killed 30 and now this government zombie squad is after them and they ran away into a funeral home

    Meretty boring so far... Explain why you're reading this again?

    Her: this is why I rarely text you back lol.

    Me: is it because I'm super cool and you're jealous ?

    Her: no it's because you're obnoxious

    Me:Aww I'm a nice guy (just said this because I couldn't think of anything else to say

    Her: Sure I GUESS

    ME: So what are you doing tonight?

    Her: playing video games

    Me: what are you playing?

    Her:gta

    Me:aye! PS3 OR Xbox?

    Her:Xbox

    Me: sooo close, you were cool until you said Xbox

    Her: you were sooo cool until you replied

    Me:touché. Did you find the secret mission for the bag of weed in the guy's car trunk?

    Her: I finished the game

    Me: which ending.doc you pick?

    Her: the one where neither died

    Me:hmmm I never picked that one before

    Her: oh okay

    Me: let's play would you rather( trying to Phase Shift but she didn't reply yet)


    Anyway I tried cocky funny and came off as obnoxious as she said, critique and help needed. Backstory, I already build rapport and can meet up with her but I need a car and she got a bf but she shows ioi . Let's hear it guys
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  2. #2
    LAMEtext is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    My overall impression is that you ask way too many questions, and almost on every reply she sends, you literally "tear her down". I understand why she doesn't reply to your last text, because when I read this interaction it does not sound fun at all to play GTA with you. To me it felt like you would be that 'type' that just would comment on everything I'd do in the game. And that is NOT the impression you want to achieve!

    For example, you got her so far that she explained the first ten pages of her book (which is a great accomplishment):

    Her:idk these two kids randomly turned Intl zombies at school and killed 30 and now this government zombie squad is after them and they ran away into a funeral home

    Me: Pretty boring so far... Explain why you're reading this again?
    She actually took time to explain you what she's reading, to talk about her interests... and your reply just totally destroys her efforts. You tell her she's BORING (that's how I would interpret it if I received such text), instead you should spark emotion after she told you about her interests.

    ME: So you're cute & hilarious, that's ok. BUT YOU LIKE ZOMBIES?! Where are you from.. Utopia?!
    Even though I'm asking two questions in a row, I don't believe she will reply solely with "I do." or "< place of birth >"

    Another opportunity was for example in this case:

    Me: aye! PS3 OR Xbox?
    Her: Xbox
    You could've anticipated upfront, you know her answer is going to be either 'ps3' or 'xbox', it will be short, it will not generate any emotions at all.

    ME: *fingers crossed* PLEASE tell me you play on PS3. And if you do, I'll let you borrow my zombie-midget for one night. He's a great poledancer.
    She already told you that she likes zombies and playing GTA... I mean that's AWESOME. Do something with it... use it whenever you want to spark some emotion.

    My insights... but please await T-mal's reply (or any other expert), they're wayyyy better at it.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    ^ LAMEtext gave some great advice ^

    With negs & cocky humor, a little goes a LOOOOONG way.
    You used about 6 months worth in that exchange... which DOES come off as obnoxious.

    The reason she didn't reply after you suggested "would you rather" is because she just expects more of the same... In her head, she already anticipates you cutting her down no matter what she says.

    You would've been better going with a more playful "Push-Pull" style, instead of the barrage of cocky negs.

    I JUST gave a couple examples in another thread, of how to use push-pull in a playful way, so that it's still fun & actually increases attraction.

    I'll re-post them here:

    A girl texted me something really funny, so I replied back with:
    "OMG! That's freakin' brilliant! But, you made me spit Mtn Dew out my nose... I hate you now."

    Another girl told me she doesn't like raw oysters... So my reply was:
    "You're pretty cute & stuff.. but we totally can't be friends anymore. You're waaaaay too weird! "

    And the same "oyster girl" told me she stubbed her toe earlier in the day. Sooooo....
    "I thought you were cool... but it turns out you're just a big ol' klutz! I don't think I can be seen in public with you.. "

    You need to mix in more "sweet" with the "sour".... More "sugar" with the "spice"... more pull with the push.




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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    Thanks a lot guys. Lmao I messe up by thinking that cocky funny and negs would sound playful( I was wrong). I'm going to Freeze Out for a couple of days and let the whole situation be left behind so we can start all over. Does that sound good?
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    cocky funny and negs can be playful--as long as you calibrate. I'm kind of surprised no one else has said anything, but she LITERALLY told you that you were pushing too much. When she said you're obnoxious, it was because you never pulled, not once.

    Let me give you some advice on conversing in general. When you ask a question and get an answer, always relate the answer back to yourself somehow, it's how you build a connection. For instance:

    Her: "idk these two kids randomly turned Intl zombies at school and killed 30 and now this government zombie squad is after them and they ran away into a funeral home"
    Me: "Not much of a zombie guy, so zombies better watch out come the apocalypse. If you could only choose one weapon to kill zombies with, what would it be?"
    Her: "umm, a baseball bat. What about you?" (whatever)
    Me: "I knew you'd take the obvious choice. I'd personally take a waffle iron. That way I have something to eat in between all that zombie killing."

    Point here is that I took her response, related it back to myself, and then continued the thread. Note in the second response I don't ask another question. This is because she needs to give a little as well. A conversation is a give and take. If you don't ever give and you're always taking (i.e., asking questions), then your going nowhere.

    Another good point to think about. If she's not asking you questions either, it means you're not giving her enough to work with so she's either losing interest or just doesn't know what to say. Use that to calibrate.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    You can... and you can also apologize to her for going overboard.

    You don't have to apologize for your intention though, which was only to create a playful, razzing vibe.

    I've had to do that a couple times myself when I started learning this stuff. I went too far, too hard with it.

    So I sent a text saying something like
    "Hey, I'm sorry for those last few texts. I went a little overboard & came off like a douche. I was TRYING to be funny & make you laugh, but now that I look back I realize they weren't funny at all. (No worries, I'm not quitting my day job to be come a comedian... I promise!!) So, have you seen the new **** movie yet? I've heard it rocks! We should totally go check it out."

    By coming forward & showing you're human, and confident enough to say you're sorry when you mess up, it's gonna make a good impression on a girl.
    And by changing the subject to something more upbeat (like whatever new movie is out) will take her mind off the whole thing & keep her from dwelling on the bad interaction.

    It implies that you know you screwed up.. but you're not gonna let it affect you. So why should she?



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  7. #7
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    I also want to add to T-Mal's advice on this. DO NOT Freeze Out. A freeze out is great where you had DLVed and you need to gain some value. In this case, you've beat her value way below yours and a freeze out will just make it worse.

    People on this forum jump to freeze outs too easily. Remember, freeze outs are used to create/regain value.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Texting Neg and Cocky-Funny Fail Sticking point

    Ok. I'm going to send the sorry text that T-Mal gave me and I'll go from there. That just proves that there's always something to learn even if you think you're really good. Thanks guys
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!


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