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Thread: Tinder Tips?

  1. #1
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Tinder Tips?

    I started using Tinder and I have about 10 matches right now. Some of them we talked and they stopped replying or some just don't reply at all.

    I would like some tips on how to talk to girls on Tinder because there is no profile to view, it's just pictures.

    I've been using open ended openers like:
    -Would you rather be told you're beautiful or intelligent?
    -Name something you wish you were better at doing.
    -What's the strangest/funniest/creepiest/etc. thing that someone said to you here?

    Also how do you transition into getting their number? Cause from what I understand this is a hook up app. You chat for a bit, get number, chat, meet up and do your thing.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    I JUST started trying Tinder myself. There aren't many girls in my location though... I dusted through all of them in no time. LOL

    I'm getting matches & going with my usual approach. But the best looking girls are like 100 miles away. So it's not likely I'll meet up with them..

    However; check out this video by Adam Lyons... it's specifically about using Tinder.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpAvX7Tuywc


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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    I JUST started trying Tinder myself. There aren't many girls in my location though... I dusted through all of them in no time. LOL

    I'm getting matches & going with my usual approach. But the best looking girls are like 100 miles away. So it's not likely I'll meet up with them..

    However; check out this video by Adam Lyons... it's specifically about using Tinder.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpAvX7Tuywc


    .
    Will do! It's a whole new game because it's mainly based on looks. Sure you can write a description but most people don't read it

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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    Yeah, there are a few people with profile descriptions, but it really is more about the pictures & distance from you.

    So you want to use pictures that stand out & project more fun & excitement than just a few selfies.

    As far as messaging girls, Adam gave a great example in that video, of carrying on an interaction.

    And MOST guys are gonna say crap like "you're hot" or "hey beautiful" or "wow! gorgeous" etc... so avoid doing that.



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  5. #5
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    Currently at work and YouTube is blocked

    Like I said above, I try to use open ended openers that trigger a response but sometimes they just don't respond because they're not attracted to me based on my pictures.

    If I do get a response, I usually like to joke around about all the creepy and needy texts AFCs send her. But can't really seem to take it from there to # close to meet up.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    Don't focus on the negative, would be my advice. Sure it's funny and you're "relating," but you're asking her to complain about things. It's okay for a one or two comment response, but if it's the focus of your conversation you'll find they get bored really fast. If the girl loves complaining and really connects on that level...that's not a girl you want anyway bro.

    Also while the "Hey girl" and "You're sexy/beautiful/hot" are rampant on Tinder, so are the generic and boring questions on the first response. Start off by trying to make her laugh. You can only do "so much" about your pictures, the rest is hard work based on how well you can 1) Read the girl through her tinder description and photos, and 2) Build quick attraction with a line that catches her attention and conveys or adds personality to what she can see in your photos.

    A question first response is sort of like saying "I want to build a relationship with you so here are some questions so I can quickly get to know you," it's an indirect way of qualifying yourself (instead of getting her to do that to you) and a lot of girls won't necessarily be creeped out by it, but they will feel icky, like you're too needy or something.

    Put yourself in their shoes. Let's say you're a HS5-7 (Hot Stud 5-7 haha). So if a HB5-7 messaged you and said "Would you prefer people say you're handsome or smart?" are you likely to respond? Maybe if she's on the upper end of 7 yeah, but if she's an upper 5 or straight 6? Probably not. At that point it's entirely based on her physical appearance whether you'll respond to her or not.

    However, if she opens you up with, "HEY! STOP THAT!!" and she's not hideous, you're more than likely going to respond, simply because that opener is so weird but intriguing - it's clear something else is coming if you "respond correctly" so at the very least you want to know what's coming (Some people get a rise off of not "responding correctly" aka a Sh1t Test, which is another matter entirely).

    If you open it with something light and fun though, it also sets the mood for future conversations. If you open it with a question, it sets the mood for interrogations. You ask her a question, she answers it and says "hbu?" You respond and ask another question, she answers a little later and this time doesn't say "hbu," so you take a minute to word your respond, can't really think of anything to say to open her up so you ask one more question and don't get a response. Sound familiar? Yeah, she's bored. You've just conveyed to her you are not an exciting person. Whether you are or not doesn't matter, because that's what she perceived. You want to give yourself the best shot from the very beginning, so don't start with boring questions.

    You *can* however, start with something like "Man, yesterday was nuts, right!? You didn't happen to see what happened to the monkey, did you?"

    Because that's very clearly a flirty opener. Granted I just came up with that on the top of my head and it's probably not the best, but the *idea* of it is that you're setting her up to respond in a hilarious story way. Also at the very least it sets it up for her to respond with "OMG I LOVE THE HANGOVER." - In other words the response is two-pronged, and can be understood from different ways. Either it's completely original and she'll give you an original response, or it hints at a movie (Hangover 2) which can build some sort of comfort level (note: not necessarily attraction so you'll want to move on from this fairly quickly) as you discuss your similarities.

    You know if she says "err, what?" that she either didn't understand or isn't into that type of humor. You're still not destroyed at this point because she *did* respond, but your best bet is to drop it gracefully and build attraction another way. Note that "err, what?" is usually not a sh1t test, she's very likely legitimately confused.

    EDIT: Sorry this is already long (I tend to do that), but I realized you asked another question. I'm by no means an expert, so listen to everything T-Mal says over me, for instance, but I tend to move for a Number Close fairly quickly. Some girls wanna chat and that's okay, but Tinder is completely different from other dating apps/sites, it's light-hearted and not taken seriously, and it's totally socially acceptable to have an account, so if you treat it like it's serious, it will throw people off. I have the most success when I do a number close quickly and move to texting asap. The important thing is you can afford to be 100% spontaneous with Tinder. Treat it like you "just wanna have fun" (fun doesn't mean sex right now, either, btw. I mean if she's down then congrats, but just go out and do something fun with her, not necessarily dinner + activity heavy date stuff), rather than "I'm looking for a relationship," and you'll be fine. Things should flow fairly naturally when that clicks.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    Oh also note that just because they swiped you right doesn't mean they'll respond. Tinder is very fickle and once you have it for about a week you don't check it religiously anymore. I have literally 30 girls on my tinder that I have yet to respond to, and I've found it doesn't matter. I've had the app for about a year and one of the girls I was "afraid" to message (HB9) has been on there forever. I messaged her just this last week (sadly it updated her location to like 569 miles away) and she messaged back, then we found out we were forever away and both cried to our ancestors. So don't think that you have to message them right away. Put some on a hardcore backburner (don't message them at all yet), message 5 or so girls, you should get two or three that respond, see what happens, then if nothing pans out, "block" them after a week or so (just so you can erase them from your profile, don't worry, if you like them Tinder does periodic recycles so you'll be able to try again in a month or so with her), and message another 5 girls or so.

    The point is to have enough that you're messaging at once to meet up with at least one or two, but not to exhaust all your options so if you go through an "unlucky" streak you can give yourself a day or two to recharge and then try a different approach (or the same if it worked, perhaps it was unlucky, perhaps you need to hone your skills). Doing it this way also lets you experiment with "what works" and what doesn't. Keeping that in mind I would say don't message your #1 choice right away until you learn how to use the app effectively.

    Edited for typos. I do that :/

  8. #8
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder Tips?

    Great answer Legend! I did realize that I was believing the hype about it too much (ie: It's an app for hook-Ups only) so I was too focused on my every move that I forgot to actually sarge the girl and have fun with it.


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