Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
Like Tree7Likes

Thread: Confused about a POF convo.

  1. #1
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 534, Level: 10
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    50
    Points
    534
    Level
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    27

    Default Confused about a POF convo.

    Hey guys, maybe you can help me figure this out. Mostly I'm just trying to figure out what's happened, but if it's still salvageable I'd love to figure that out as well.

    Anyway, I messaged a girl, complimented her on her spelling/grammar/interesting profile (essentially my own version of one of T-Mal's suggestions), to which she responded a few days later and said mine was equally entertaining. She mentioned she was an undercover nerd so I laughed at her about that and asked her to elaborate, this is the last part of that convo.

    -~-~-

    HER: as far as the nerdy-ness goes, it's a little if both. It's my goal to one day own enough books that I can call my collection a library. Batman is my favorite superhero and I'm all over LOTR trivia and the movies. The highest leveled character I ever got in WOW was a lvl 53 blood elf hunter, and I'm a novice at Starcraft and league of legends. I can hold my own in super smash and I'll kick you butt in mario kart double dash hahaha, I'm not going to bore you will all the details, but I think it's safe to say that I'm a nerd :P

    Are you nerdy??


    ME: Haha, a librarian? You dork, lol. :P

    I've wasted my fair share of time playing video games, haha. Nowadays getting a career hammered down means I'm too busy usually to play anything, but I actually enjoy League of Legends. I play Super Smash and MK from time to time, though I can't vouch for my own skills, you'll have to find out on your own.

    So I'm guessing your ultimate fantasy is playing video games with Batman in a Jazz jersey wearing glasses after a LOTR marathon, haha. How close was I?


    -~-~-

    Did I do something wrong or just was this dropped convo out of my control? Should I message her again? If so, what and when? Was "dork" perhaps too strong at this point? I'm at a loss for why she stopped messaging me. So far it's been 4-5 days since I sent this.

    Any help or insights is appreciated. Keep in mind she's a straight HB9 who also happens to be a closet nerd. Nothing more attractive to me than that, haha. She also has her life together and whatnot. It's not oneitis but if I have any sort of way of making this work, I'd like to know how.

  2. #2
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 426, Level: 8
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    138
    Points
    426
    Level
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    25

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    It feels like you're trying to match her nerdy-ness. Almost as if you're qualifying to her just so you have something in common. Also I would have been playful and challenged her to an all night gaming/LoTR marathon or something like that. Or even "argue" with her that Star Wars is better than LoTR or something like that, keeps the conversation going more.

  3. #3
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 534, Level: 10
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    50
    Points
    534
    Level
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    27

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    I guess. I figured I was playing with her by saying she was a dork, then building comfort by talking about how I was nerdy (but again establishing value as I talked about not having much time because life is more important than games). I also projected playing MK/SSB in the future. I dunno.

    You're right, I could have worded it differently, still, I don't feel like what I said was *bad*, but that's why I asked. Thanks for the insights. I'd love T-Mal's opinion on this as well, or 29.

    Also - is there any way to salvage this or should I just try a generic playful second response to start the convo over? It's been about a week now.

  4. #4
    twentynine's Avatar
    twentynine is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,991, Level: 35
    Level completed: 61%, Points required for next Level: 59
    Overall activity: 10.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    287
    Points
    2,991
    Level
    35
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    141

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    An HB9 who is a closet nerd, and you waited a week? I should slap you! I'll just give you my opinion instead though.

    It's salvageable, her message showed quite a bit of interest. What I like is that she seemed to qualify herself a bit. What I like even more is that she ended it with a question. What I don't like is how you responded. It wasn't terrible, but you ignored the signs.

    I always try to recognize the point in the conversation where she starts asking the questions, and "leading". This is a hook point and it means you should hang back and answer her questions in the most interesting way possible without coming off as trying to qualify. Teasing and flirting is good in that point of the conversation as well. In my opinion, based on the best convos I've had online, there should only be one person leading the conversation at a time. If you are both leading and asking questions, it becomes an interview. Interviews get boring. Boring is bad. Usually you will be the one asking the questions and leading for the first few messages but if you play your cards right, it will shift and she will start asking questions - Hook Point. When she becomes attracted, she becomes interested and that makes her want to know more about you. It's a simple concept.

    Just answering the questions while being funny and interesting, and using your answers to build a connection will surely get you a phone number.

    I hope that all makes sense.

    I would have gone with something more like this:

    "You may be in luck here, I'm quite irresistable in my Batman costume. You might even make a good Catwoman.. Hmm, interesting.

    Big points for mentioning LOTR, I could do a LOTR marathon any day of the week. Especially if there's pillow forts and popcorn somewhere in the mix!

    Between work and other adulthood priorities I don't have all the time in the world to feed my inner nerd, but that doesn't mean I don't indulge when I can. I would destroy you at Mario Kart by the way.."

    No questions, doesn't even seem like you would care if she didn't reply, but at the same time you built some rapport and flirted a bit. I think the ultimate fantasy line may have been what really sunk you in your reply. But, if you're lucky, your message may have just gotten buried by all the other messages she's getting.

    As far as how to approach this now.. I would go with something like:

    "Hey kiddo, didn't take you for the shy type :O

    I forgot to mention that I would destroy you in Mario Kart.

    Happy St. Patty's Day, Nerdball."

  5. #5
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    The "dork" part was fine. But I would have skipped everything else & just added "I love that! So, what other cool surprises am I gonna discover? ... and yes, I'm also a nerd. I trust you have no problem with that. "

    That example is a classic, effective "Push-Pull".
    Quick jab about being a dork, & follow it up by pulling her in with a slight compliment.

    To re-initiate, I would message her & say something like:
    "What's up Nerd-Ball! I just saw a little kid in a Batman T-shirt... made me think of you. Hope your day is bangin! "

    Simple yet effective.

    It's not asking a question, nor does it require a response of any kind... but those types of messages are the ones girls usually reply to more quickly.





    .


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    twentynine's Avatar
    twentynine is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,991, Level: 35
    Level completed: 61%, Points required for next Level: 59
    Overall activity: 10.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    287
    Points
    2,991
    Level
    35
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    141

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    I love T-Mal's "Nerd-Ball" ..It's so fitting here.

  7. #7
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 534, Level: 10
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    50
    Points
    534
    Level
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    27

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    Yep. This was the advice I was looking for. Thanks guys, you rock!

    Oh and 29... I wouldn't have waited a week but I got no advice til now! haha.

    EDIT: One question, I've already given her the name Sassy Pants, should I stick with that or go with Nerd Ball? She responded favorably to it.

    AAAAAND SECOND EDIT: I sent "What's up Miss Sassy Pants! I just saw a little kid in a Batman T-shirt... made me think of you. Happy St. Patty's Day! (Don't forget your green) " Seemed to mesh the best with my personality (combination of both your suggestions but keeping the Miss Sassy Pants rather than Nerdball, just because it highlights the previous convo, I guess. Again she took well to the name.)

  8. #8
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    I call girls all kinds of little nicknames. Especially once they give me their number, then it's ON!

    I have a big list of nicknames in my "texting do's & don'ts" thread, in case you even need ideas.

    But you can seriously create nicknames for any situation. And MOST girls love it when you give them little pet names like that.
    I've had a few who thought it was weird or too impersonal... but no biggie. You can either let them be an exception if you want, or you can phase them out & let them go.

    I personally like the playful ones who are spunky & sarcastic... the ones who can dish out a load of banter right back at me.

    But the main thing is to be congruent with your personality. That's when things will work the best.


    .


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  9. #9
    twentynine's Avatar
    twentynine is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,991, Level: 35
    Level completed: 61%, Points required for next Level: 59
    Overall activity: 10.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    287
    Points
    2,991
    Level
    35
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    141

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    Great message, Legend. Let us know if she gets back at you.

    Fingers crossed for ya.

  10. #10
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 534, Level: 10
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    50
    Points
    534
    Level
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    27

    Default Re: Confused about a POF convo.

    She did get back while I was at work.

    "Hey!! Sorry it's taken me a minute to respond. You were actually pretty close! I've never thought about it, but the situation you described sounds pretty enjoyable

    How has your day been?"


    So it seems to me like she's still semi-interested (she responded), but not really invested. "a minute to respond" seems like she's trying to downplay the fact that it took her a week to respond. She also completely ignored the last message, apparently seeing it as a sort of "reminder" message that I'm still waiting for a response. Is that bad or normal?

    I'm thinking she left me the perfect opportunity (since she answered the question about the fantasy) to bring up something along the lines of what 29 said earlier about how I should have responded. I think I'll do that with a small quip about my day.

    EDIT: At this point should I wait a day or so to respond?


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Need help with a convo from POF
    By Kosbow in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 10-03-2013, 06:17 PM
  2. Confused AFC here.
    By Michael3710 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 11-21-2012, 01:33 PM
  3. Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 06-17-2012, 11:59 PM
  4. Very confused =s
    By husk in forum General Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 06-28-2011, 06:40 PM
  5. Confused.
    By InTheMaking in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 10-09-2009, 02:17 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com