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  1. #1
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    I've come across this a bunch of times and I'm sure some of you have too! You chat with a girl and then she stops replying or the last msg you sent her is a question, and all you get is silence. Most sites will show you whether shes is online or not so I tend to target girls that are online so I know there's a higher chance she will read my msg.

    Is there a good way of recovering from that or to re establish contact with her?

    I was thinking of something among these lines but I'd like to run it by you first:

    Hey so just out of curiosity, am I not your type or did I just get lost in your inbox? :P

    I'm trying to be direct and ask if I'm not her type, I'd rather be told that instead of wasting my time. But somehow this feels like something someone weak or an AFC would say

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    Never comment or question about her not responding... It makes a guy look needy & desperate.

    My recon profile gets SOOOOO many messages from guys who do that. So you'd be lumping yourself in with the rest of the schmucks on the website.

    The best way to handle that situation is to wait a few days & then send a new message about something completely different.

    Something like, "Heya Spunky-Pants, have you ever witnessed a squirrel stealing chips out of someones lunch? I have.. just now... and it was freakin hilarious!"

    Or some other totally random message that makes her picture a scenario in her mind.


    Girls seem to latch onto that stuff easily.


    .


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  3. #3
    Othello the Great's Avatar
    Othello the Great is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    Yes, don't ask her that. From what I've learned it's the guys job to assume attraction. Some will find you attractive, some won't it's just the nature of the game.

    If you re-initiate I suggest saying something completely spontaneous and amusing! Make her WANT to respond!


    Maybe the girls busy or doesn't use social media that much, it's external forces you can't control. You can control your own energy and fun though by never sending needy or the same generic message as any other guy.

  4. #4
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    Yeah I figured as much that I should not go ahead an send that. So basically re-initiate with new energy and go for round 2. How do you escalate sexually? Like I'm in the Comfort stage right now, I'm having difficulties transitioning from Comfort to sex

  5. #5
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    You must build comfort and escalate sexually in person. The IM/Texting is just a means to meet up again primarily and to keep in contact.

    Show that you look forward to seeing HER not her messages. Focus on getting her to meet up with you then after she agrees asks how to escalate.


    You could be like, I've been dying for/to (insert food place/cool activity)! Join me and bring holy water/any other random thing Or something along those lines.

    Do you have any more details about the hnature of you and her relationship to share? Like have you went on dates before or what?

  6. #6
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    Quote Originally Posted by Othello the Great View Post
    You must build comfort and escalate sexually in person. The IM/Texting is just a means to meet up again primarily and to keep in contact.

    Show that you look forward to seeing HER not her messages. Focus on getting her to meet up with you then after she agrees asks how to escalate.


    You could be like, I've been dying for/to (insert food place/cool activity)! Join me and bring holy water/any other random thing Or something along those lines.

    Do you have any more details about the hnature of you and her relationship to share? Like have you went on dates before or what?
    I have 2 dates this week, one on Tuesday (tomorrow) and one on Wednesday. I haven't seen any of em yet, the Wednesday girl has been texting me non stop and I'm currently in Comfort stage with her. But I don't know how to escalate to Seduction.

    When I first started out, I worked on all the stages individually (some may agree or disagree), I got good at the Introduction, rapport, and Comfort stages. Now it's Seduction that's my sticking point.

    The Tuesday girl is an 18 year old (I'm 22) and I haven't figured out how I'm gonna game her yet but I talked to her for a bit on POF and actually she was the one who suggested we go out. We haven't texted at all besides setting up a place and time. So I'd say I'm still in the Rapport stage with her.

  7. #7
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    You can totally escalate to sexual conversations before you ever meet a girl in person.

    That's my personal approach anyway. I don't rush the meetup. I build LOTS of attraction through text, email & phone.
    The conversations get sexual and THEN I set the meetup.. never before.

    Again, my whole style is to be fun & flirty right from the start; so that when I introduce sexual innuendo into the mix, it's welcomed & not offensive or creepy.

    Besides, spending the time & money on a "date" when you're not sure how it's gonna go, seems silly to me.
    I'd rather spend that time BEFOREHAND & pretty much guarantee that it's gonna be physical when we get together.

    Some guys will disagree with me about spending that much time messaging & not meeting the girl right away. And that's cool... they're welcome to think that. I just know what works for me.


    And I save money & then spend more "hands on" time when I DO meet up.

    The key is to be bold & fun right from the start. Don't be afraid to push things a little... but don't be vulgar or creepy about it when you first bring it up.

    And by the time you're setting "the date" you might also have "special pictures" she's sent you. (Some girls will & some won't)

    But either way, it takes the guesswork out of that first date, if you play your cards right early on.



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  8. #8
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    You can totally escalate to sexual conversations before you ever meet a girl in person.

    That's my personal approach anyway. I don't rush the meetup. I build LOTS of attraction through text, email & phone.
    The conversations get sexual and THEN I set the meetup.. never before.

    Again, my whole style is to be fun & flirty right from the start; so that when I introduce sexual innuendo into the mix, it's welcomed & not offensive or creepy.

    Besides, spending the time & money on a "date" when you're not sure how it's gonna go, seems silly to me.
    I'd rather spend that time BEFOREHAND & pretty much guarantee that it's gonna be physical when we get together.

    Some guys will disagree with me about spending that much time messaging & not meeting the girl right away. And that's cool... they're welcome to think that. I just know what works for me.


    And I save money & then spend more "hands on" time when I DO meet up.

    The key is to be bold & fun right from the start. Don't be afraid to push things a little... but don't be vulgar or creepy about it when you first bring it up.

    And by the time you're setting "the date" you might also have "special pictures" she's sent you. (Some girls will & some won't)

    But either way, it takes the guesswork out of that first date, if you play your cards right early on.

    I prefer to talk to girls a bit more on the phone or text before meeting up so I know what type of personality they have. But there were also times where I talked for too long before asking out and got shot down.

  9. #9
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    I've done that too.
    But that's when I realized I let myself slip into "Fluff talk" too much & lost the momentum.

    So depending on how soon I want to meet a girl, I'll adjust my escalation speed accordingly.

    Sometimes as much as a few weeks... and others just a couple days.
    It depends on logistics AND their receptiveness to sexual discussion.

    But the more experience you gain, the better you'll get at pacing the interactions.

    .


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do when she doesn't reply for a few days?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    I've done that too.
    But that's when I realized I let myself slip into "Fluff talk" too much & lost the momentum.

    So depending on how soon I want to meet a girl, I'll adjust my escalation speed accordingly.

    Sometimes as much as a few weeks... and others just a couple days.
    It depends on logistics AND their receptiveness to sexual discussion.

    But the more experience you gain, the better you'll get at pacing the interactions.

    .
    I agree about the experience part. I just got out of a 1.5 year relationship so I'm trying to gain some momentum again. But like you said, once I get some experience under my belt (no pun intended) I'll get better at it haha


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