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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

  1. #1
    derealwildone's Avatar
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    Default Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

    Hey fellas,
    New back in the dating world again, and what I thought was a nifty POF profile has landed me nowhere. So I have examined some creative profiles and came across something with more spark, and I wanted some clear positive and negative views from the PUA standpoint. Thanks in advance for any help. sarge on, brothers.

    HEADLINE:
    Looking for quality, not necessarily quantity

    PROFILE:
    Aloha (hello for those who stay, goodbye for those who go..)

    First off, good for you for taking the time to check out a profile that has landed in your sweet lap either by sheer luck, or
    I have sent you such a riveting message that you had to come see for yourself how very cool and laid back that one man can be.

    I don't confess to be "the man of your dreams" per say, I'm not for everyone. However, I just might be the one for one of you.
    One thing is certain though, you will never forget me! So if your bore easily and can't see yourself on a fantastic ride, then
    let's get off right now.. .

    I guess standard protocol calls for something about me: I keep in great shape, crave someone who can keep up with me in all aspects,
    verbally and physically, ambitious, and own the world's greatest dog. He's even slightly more rambunctious than I. I look a weird,
    wacky and fun sense of humor to survive, so bring your worst. And if you cannot survive such a relationship adventure, don't worry.
    Another great friend could work too...

    In order to keep the class to my ass, I also recently dived into the world of cooking and photography onto an already loaded lifestyle,
    and am envision sharing this with a visionary creature of beauty and fun to keep me in line. Living life to the fullest is my goal,
    and have been fortunate to have wonderful friends and family around me to obtain it.

    So, you also heard that I was a secret agent that stops mean super-villans from releasing mayhem on North American soil?

    That sweetheart, will take a fantastic night out to get that story out of me.

    FIRST DATE:
    Coffee. Haha, just kidding. I think we deserve better.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

    I would recommend you take some time & anonymously read OTHER GUYS' profiles for about 30 minutes....

    You'll learn a lot about what NOT to do in your own.
    Because right now, your profile doesn't stand out a whole lot.

    You're trying to mix in some "jokey humor" with a non-confident vibe. That makes the whole thin totally in-congruent.

    You're also trying to qualify yourself by telling lots of facts about you, when you really need to building more curiosity.

    The main thing right now is to scrap the whole "Thanks for reading my profile" statement.
    It makes you seem apologetic for taking their time & that they really shouldn't be reading it because there are better options elsewhere.

    Also- the "NOT being the man of your dreams" line is going to turn off a lot of women.
    (Again... where's the confidence?)




    .


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

    I agree with T-Mal. This is the online profile of someone who THINKS they're clever (I'm not saying that that is you, but it's still giving that vibe). It's been done many times, and girls see right through it. You've taken more effort than the shmoes, but it's still white noise.

    Just like T-Mal says you shouldn't give off the feeling that you are apologetic in any way. They should be THANKING YOU for reading your profile. Why?

    1) They're on an online dating site. They're looking for some sort of relationship.
    2) There is a lot of random drivel that they have to sort through to find an actual match, so much so that some of them give shmoes a chance simply because they can't believe that THAT many shmoes are out there.
    3) When they DO stumble across a fantastic profile it will be like fresh water on a dry, hot, deserted island. They WILL thank you, I promise.

    When T-Mal is talking about lack of confidence, it's because you have MANY key words in there that portray indecisiveness and, well, lack of confidence.

    "First off" <--This is how you START your profile too, so it starts off on a timid foot. You don't have to "lead up" to your profile, they *know* that it's your profile, just start talking about something catchy, fun, and interesting from the get go. Also note that "funny" doesn't necessary equal "fun." Too much funny can definitely be a bad thing (not saying you did this, but don't go overboard when you correct it)
    "I guess..."
    "I just might be"
    "If you can't...don't worry...A friend works too."
    etc.

    ALSO, it doesn't FLOW naturally. Take this sentence for example:

    "First off, good for you for taking the time to check out a profile that has landed in your sweet lap either by sheer luck, or
    I have sent you such a riveting message that you had to come see for yourself how very cool and laid back that one man can be."

    Read it out loud and tell me how awkward it sounds. Make some edits to your profile dude. Also, you haven't proofread it either:

    "I look a weird, wacky..."

    You look a weird?

    Not trying to be mean here, just trying to offer constructive crit with plenty of things for you to work on and improve. Hopefully it helped man. Take a look at some of the other posts in here, there's a lot of advice. Though, admittedly, profile construction is probably the hardest to find.

    Maybe I'll make a "how to make a profile" guide. Hmmm...Not sure I have the credentials, haha.

    EDIT: In regards to your headline, it's not very catchy. My personal headline is "You Win!! This is Not a Joke! Click Here!!" Headlines aren't the most important part of your profile but I have had several women message me with "What do I win?" because it caught their attention. It's something they see every day in ad spam so to see me sort of make fun of that can cause a connection. Again it doesn't happen often and the headline is probably the least important thing about your profile (on POF a good majority won't ever read it, for instance), but it still helps.

  4. #4
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    Red face Re: Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

    Much thanks for the advice, T-Mal and Legend. Many of the facts you presented I can see as fix ups, certainly. Rather than qualify why I did what I did, I shall try to repair accurately and report back with the changes. Before I take care of that, just wanted I was wondering about any positives in the profile that I should keep, or is it better to start from scratch? By the way Legend, a "how to make a dating profile" would be very helpful for the site, whether yourself or another PUA putting it together.

    Cheers.
    Derealwildone.

  5. #5
    derealwildone's Avatar
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    Red face Re: Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

    Much thanks for the advice, T-Mal and Legend. Many of the facts you presented I can see as fix ups, certainly. Rather than qualify why I did what I did, I shall try to repair accurately and report back with the changes. Before I take care of that, just wanted I was wondering about any positives in the profile that I should keep, or is it better to start from scratch? By the way Legend, a "how to make a dating profile" would be very helpful for the site, whether yourself or another PUA putting it together.

    Cheers.
    Derealwildone.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need some PUA advice on a POF profile

    Uh, obviously not everything is bad. Nothing is really *bad* to be honest. However, I would simply start over. If you try to "keep" anything in the profile it's going to seem jumpy and off-beat, if that makes sense.

    Have you seen "The Wolf of Wall Street"? While I don't condone his lifestyle in any way there's a scene in the movie that is perfect for, well, many facets of life, but in particular right now, it's perfect for creating profiles.

    At the END of the movie, he asks a class of people who want to learn how to sell to "sell me this pen." and he goes around the room, giving several people a chance to SELL the pen to him.

    They all say something with a derivative of:

    "Well, this is a nice pen, it writes well. I've used it myself and I've never been disappointed." etc. He just looks at them and moves on to the next one. Each person says something similar to that. THESE are the crap profiles out there. They are trying to sell by qualifying.

    At the BEGINNING of the movie he gets a bunch of shady salesmen together to start his company and asks one of them to sell him his pen. The guy looks at him and says "What's your name?" He responds, giving him his name. "Oh, can you write it down for me?" BOOM he just SOLD the pen.

    Does that analogy make sense? He wasn't qualifying the pen, he was creating a NEED/DESIRE for it. He said NOTHING about the pen in particular, but in that moment any rational person would be thinking "well I need a pen to write my name down."

    In your profile you are SELLING yourself. Think of it as an actual advertisement. Hell you can create the entire profile like it's an actual ad for you if you want. That's certainly original. But don't qualify, don't talk about how much amazing stuff you do, don't say anything half-assed either (I'm thinking about the "friends are okay" comment. DAMMIT FRIENDS ARE NOT OKAY, lol. What that says to them is "Listen, if the only way you'll talk to me is to be friends, I'm okay with that." I promise it's a turn off. Anyway, enough ranting about the profile sorry).

    This is enough to get you started, and obviously a pen is not a profile, so you'll need to say a few things about yourself, but just keep the Mindset of "you're selling yourself" and think how you can effectively do that. Like, think from a girl's perspective what will get them to DESIRE/NEED to respond back?

    1) Awesome profile pictures. There needs to be physical attraction and similar interests. Your pictures convey this most, or they should.
    2) Proper grammar and spelling, as well as a smooth flow while reading. If writing isn't your strong suit then read it out loud and have a friend who can give honest opinions (they're rare, but extremely valuable, if you find a friend like this hold on to them) tell you what you should change. We're all willing to help you out here as well. And as you can see we aren't afraid to be honest.
    3) Something catchy that: A) She's never read before, and B) Builds attraction in some way. She's probably never read "S:LSDKFJP)*#JW:ILWJ DF:LSJDF:OISJ*" before, but it won't build any attraction, haha.
    4) Causes some sort of emotion. Did your dog die recently? Feel free to mention (MENTION, don't dwell) that. Usually you want to associate happy feelings and excitement, because you want those emotions tied to you, but a little bit of sadness (like the dog example) shows you are real. You don't HAVE to include anything like that, but don't feel like you CAN'T, as long as it's in moderation.

    And there you go! Good luck in your editing!


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