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  • 1 Post By GoBucks90
  • 1 Post By Bobolov

Thread: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

  1. #1
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    Hey guys, so I'm pretty new to this forum and just started an online dating account on Okcupid. So this cute girl messaged me first and this is our conversation:

    Her: lol you do know that I'm not the asian one in my profile picture right? because that's starting to confuse some people.

    Me: Haha no way, I totally couldn't tell you guys apart! So how's your wet rainy night going?

    Her: lol you'd be surprised how many times people have us mixed up. I had a picture of me with my best friend who's korean as my fb profile picture when I first got to college, and I met my roommate via facebook and she was visibly shocked when it turned out I was white. rainy night is going well, I actually love the rain, as long as I'm inside.

    Me: Ha that's hilarous. I like to tell people that I'm 1/8 russian when I first meet them since my name is Boris. Also, rainy days are the best! I would totally push you into a puddle

    Her: lol russian. for april fools day, our university newspaper printed that vladmir putin would be doing our commencement address this year and a lot of people fell for it (including me). and if you pushed me into a puddle I would do a rain dance to make the heavens unleash their floodgates on you.

    Me: That would be epic... He would serve vodka to all the newly grads of course. And I'm so scared for my life of the floodgates :0 Don't do that for the sake of our kids

    Her: That's how we teach our kids to swim

    Me: That comes before they learn how to walk They're going to be part fish

    Her: Everyone loves a mermaid.

    Me: Hey we didn't agree on having a girl!

    Her: Sorry, mermaid and merman. All about gender inequality here.

    Me: Ah that's more like it. They're going to be the big fishes in a small pond.

    And after my last text, she viewed my profile but didn't respond. I was thinking maybe she got bored or lost interest. I'm thinking about just sending her a message to ask for her number but I didn't really see too much IOIs. Please help guys! Any suggestions on what to say would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Bobolov is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    She could be busy, have had a personal calamity or swallowed her goldfish. Its not always your fault everything looks pretty good in your convo

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    Yeah, don't sweat it. Your text game is a step ahead of most guys in general, and a huge step in front of most guys online. You're doing fine. If she doesn't respond just reopen her in a couple of days on another subject like nothing happened. Don't get attached to your conversation either. When I first started out online, whenever I exchanged a few messages with a girl, I would get attached to the conversation, and start checking my inbox more than usual and such. Break that habit before it ever starts.

  4. #4
    saguviper is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    In a couple of days, reopen. Maybe use a catch opener like, "OMG, you won't believe what happened to me today!"

    Just leave it at that, because it requires her to communicate back with a "what happened?"

    You can make something up, but don't linger on it. It's a great way to change the subject and not about the fish just like lilsting said. You never know about online. People can be busy with work or school. It's a numbers game. Just keep on tryin to meet new people on OKC.

  5. #5
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    Hey guys thanks for the advice. After thinking through it a lot, I just went for it and luckily got her number.

    So I've been messaging her back and forth but it always seems like I'm the one to end the conversation. How do I transition from texting to asking her out on a "date without it seeming too formal?

  6. #6
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    Leave her alone for a few days and then use one of T-Mal's suggestions in the texting forum (it's a sticky, lots of great advice). Don't make it formal at all. One thing you should be developing, though, is how to craftily get their schedule from them (they will usually tell you in some way ("I work every weeknight, my weekend days are my only days off, etc.") through natural conversation)

    Something along the lines of:

    "Alright mamacita, it's on! [time/day], "the cheesy cook-off." Two cheesy meals, cooked by us! You ready for the cheesiest adventure ever?"

    Just an example, but "out of the blue" is totally fine, you don't have to "build up" to a date in one go. Building up to the date in the same conversation is often what seems to cause the awkwardness for many guys, to be honest.

    Obviously I'm not saying don't build attraction before-hand, but if the "hey, how are you? ... Oh good! Did you win your soccer game? Oh good, blah blah blah. Hey so I was thinking this Thursday night we could blah blah blah, how does that sound?" conversations can be avoided, it's totally okay, because those types of conversations are deemed as "awkward but necessary." So if you can get rid of the awkwardness you'll elevate yourself in her book. Make sense?

  7. #7
    Bobolov is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    a winner for me is to say - 'lets go to crepes and waffles' (a coffee shop) your not asking but your not telling, theyll ask why and then say its a safe public place so if she is a bum toucher you're safe

  8. #8
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl messages me first on OkCupid and now stopped messaging back

    Thanks a lot for tips, pretty creative ideas! Unfortunately she just sent me a really looooong text over Okcupid basically saying how she's become involved with another user on the site before she started talking to me. Also, she stated directly how I seemed like a cute and great guy via text.

    I told her that we can still be friends. Totally just beat her at getting friend-zoned! At this point, I still want to hang out with her for the purpose of meeting more females. But the tricky part is how would I get her to introduce me to her friends?


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