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  • 3 Post By bosox

Thread: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

  1. #1
    apokalipse666 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    Hey guys. Ive been into PUA for 2 or 3 years, I always like to read about it, and dating advices, and recently ive been trough another break up...Clearly something is wrong with me and I need to change. This last relation lasted only 4 months and I really liked this girl. I dont know what happens to me, but everytime I go into a relation, I become a complete AFC, a newbie, a needy. I give to much of me, I care too much, is it that wrong? Am I not strong enough? In the beginning I try not to be all this, but once my feelings start to be stronger, I just dont know what happens to me...sometimes it seems a battle head vs heart, and my heart always wins...Ive been cheated 2 times, ive been broken by girls, 1 girl after 3 months remembered she liked her ex, ive been rebound boy and so on...Clearly the problem is in me. Im not a ugly guy, and girls find me nice and attractive but somehow im really unlucky when it comes to this. Am i completely uninteresting and without value, once I am in a relation? damn. I really need to change the way I am.

    Sorry for my english guys Hope you have some advices for me...

  2. #2
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    The fact that u have to ask if you're interesting or not or have value or not shows total lack of confidence and insecurity. Gotta work on your mind set and inner game

  3. #3
    apokalipse666 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    You are right and I know. With all these f*cked up relations, my self esteem and confidence is completely 0.

  4. #4
    bosox is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    I am by no means a PUA, but I have had some continuous success with many kinds of women. I too have been the guy cheated on, rebounded or used for attention. But the only thing that keeps me in line is that I know who I truly am and what I can offer to any woman. A 10 or a 4.

    I see a lot of guys like us who look for answers to manipulate a situation so we can fool or trick a HB into being interested in us. But like many threads and people say here; at the end of the day, if you don't have any "inner game", you're gonna fail 10 out of 10 times.

    You are an interesting guy. There's something about you that separates you from any guy approaching the HB. Only thing is... Only you can prove that. So chin up. Focus on you and continuously remind yourself that there was an initial reason why women were into you, in the first place. You just gotta hold your frame and stay true to who you are and who you want to be. The women and everything else will come. Trust me, its not so complicated once your confidence is where it needs to be.

    Hope any of this helps you. Good luck brother.

  5. #5
    apokalipse666 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    I appreciate your words Bosox. You know, like you, I used to know what I truly was and what I could give to women. And I thought I could give a lot, that I had it in me. But now im having many doubts. I feel with each failed relation my heart and feeling close more and more, and im sure this is not good. Its not who I am.

    The answers im looking for bosox, its not really about "manipulate" or playing "tricks" with women. Like you said, and very well, im looking for improving my inner game. my motivation. my self confidence, self esteem. To rebuild myself, without losing who I am. I cant always be so needy or dependent when it comes to relations, its the wrong way.

    I need to hold my frame, keep my cool and be more of a "man". But sometimes its not esy to build confidence. How do I do it? How do I go out everytime with my mind on the right place? With the energy, The Vibe? Girls say im a good looking guy, somewhat interesting and funny, but my lack of confidence keeps destroying me. Thanks for ur words bro.

  6. #6
    Torrent Seduction is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    Did you start subconsciously acting less and less like an alpha male as the relationship went on? It sounds like you had a good Mindset at the beginning of the relationship due to your knowledge of the PUA world but as time went on your defenses lowered and she realized you weren't always congruent with the vibes you gave off in the beginning and lost interest. What do you think you started doing differently that made her lose interest?

  7. #7
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    Inner game usually is a contributing factor as well as laziness

    If you use seduction to start a relationship you need to keep it up to keep that spark alive otherwise it dies and so does the relationship.

    Good news is both can be calibrated but if you are only relying on seduction tricks to do most of your work in pick up it takes a lot of energy to maintain that seductive spark. The longer the relationship goes on the more you will have to put into it to maintain the relationship as it is, otherwise it has to transcend into a different relationship based on something other than a seduction.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  8. #8
    apokalipse666 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    Torrent, my Mindset at the beginning was great, I really felt at ease with this girl, and talked about everything, interesting things etc, but I dont know..as time went by, I really started to feel strong feelings for her, and thats when I always lower my defenses without even realize it sometimes. Its when my neddiness kicks in, my insecurity, and all these negative traces. Thatsd what I need to change next time. Its not good for me, or my partner.

  9. #9
    John Ceara is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    I am not an expert. In fact, I have been through the same situation you are, not long time ago. Even though I knew the PUA world for more than 1 year...

    It happened because I had finally got the girl I always wanted... she had rejected me , then I learned many PUA skills and managed to date her... But it didn't last long, because when I let my feelings control me, I also became powerless around her.

    But you know what I realized as soon as she broke up with me? She is the one who is losing a great guy. And you know what changed since I realized that? I don't feel anything for her anymore... and It changed that fast. I realized that I shouldn't even make this amount of effort to get a girl like her. I am a 25 yo good looking guy, who is about to graduate Computer Engineer, and there are many women there even better than her, that would kill to find someone like me in their lives.

    That is the Mindset you gotta have. Sometimes we feel bad seeing guys that don't even respect girls, getting the girls we want... but we should feel bad for these girls. They are screwed up, not you!

  10. #10
    hatem10 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I feel like a complete newbie sometimes...

    Hey man,

    stop all the reading and take action.

    You actually learn from taking action, not from reading.

    Read a little, but for the main stick to exploring and learning for yourself. The progress will be much quicker this way.

    Joe


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