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  1. #1
    bonez483 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default LOST after 5 dates.. Flake ? HELP!!!

    OK first post guys, little background about myself.. I don't really use any specific techniques in picking up woman, I guess "cocky funny" if anything, but generally I don't have problems with getting chicks. This one however is throwing me for a loop!!!

    I met this girl at a bar, we hit if off immediately, talked for a while built a good rapport. I ended up driving her home and stayed at her place. We fooled around, but we never had sex. I never thought about it at the time, but the next morning I tried to be a little affectionate with her, touch feely, but I didn't' get anything back. I didn't think much about it at the time.

    We start texting all the time. Ended up going on a real date, I took her to diner then drinks, things were going well she made compliments I never got from anyone before, such as "i can't believe you're single". "you're so handsome" blah blah blah. Took her back home and we made out in the car, had her shirt off etc so things were progressing well.

    Third date we went out for happy hour, she seemed a little reserved this time around, we ended up just making out. 4th date I took her to dinner and drinks afterwards, and most recently she came over to watch a movie. but here is where it gets strange. She sat on my bed, and we did NOTHING. I tried to get her to lay next to me, she responded " if I lay down, I'm going to fall asleep" we didn't hook up, not a touch, nor did we talk much. I never felt so awkward every with a girl, when she left she ended up giving me a kiss, but no tongue, more like a good buy kiss.

    I'm having trouble reading her now, I feel like she's giving me the cold shoulder. Of course now I really like this girl, and it's driving me crazy!!! She never seems to show any affection what so ever, no holding hands, touching, etc. She def acts different when shes drinking opposed to when I pick her up sober. lol

    What's the deal? any advice as to what my approach would be ?? Note she's 23 and I'm 31, I don't think she has ever dated someone my age, and she also recently broke it off with her boyfriend a month ago. I met her like a month ago, and we haven't gone more than a day with out texting but now I think she's a bit more distant.

    THANKS!!!

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOST after 5 dates.. Flake ? HELP!!!

    I'm still new to the PUA Forums but to me it sounds like she got bored after throwing so many compliments at you. I could be and hope I'm wrong. Does she want sex?

  3. #3
    bonez483 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOST after 5 dates.. Flake ? HELP!!!

    That's the thing, she doesn't' seem to be for sex, although she was pretty aggressive on the first date.. I got in her pants, but we didn't go much further, she put a stop to it.. The last couple dates she has been a lot more reserved. She only made those compliments the one time.

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOST after 5 dates.. Flake ? HELP!!!

    its hard for me to give a decent response here because i think there needs to be more specific details about what's happened and where you wanna go with her. i'm assuming you just want her to be responsive. but that would mean looking for IOIs and give her interesting challenges where she can emotionally invest in. dont make it boring or an interview. dont use your logically man brain when talking to her. look for the nouns she uses and build upon those nouns into questions in regards to interest or experiences with them.

  5. #5
    bonez483 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOST after 5 dates.. Flake ? HELP!!!

    Well I'm starting to like this girl, just not sure where she's at.. I get the impression she's just looking to have fun, but not looking to have sex.. She has only been single for a month. She shows no affection what so ever which I find strange, never met a girl like that. Makes me feel like I"m heading down the friend zone.

    What kind of challenges are you referring too? can you give an example or point me somewhere with info.

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOST after 5 dates.. Flake ? HELP!!!

    well... i joined the forum last week. went in depth reading these guides and personally it's changed a lot of how i see women and mostly in myself. it sounds like it's all an ego booster but theres some really great thickness in how we communicate as people of opposite genders. check it out The Newbie Guide--i read all of the suggested links which really gave me what i needed in re-affirming how to trust myself in the presence of women

    just remember everyone is different so not all of it will apply to everyone man or woman. the guide really helps giving you extra perspectives to look at in different situations.

    back to addressing your issue--i'd say if she's not looking for dating anyone (in terms of being serious dating) then just go with the flow. it was hard for me to understand this for years but i've come to terms that coming off needy. its is not attractive in presenting myself to women. it's always better to have a conversation with women where they're equally invested in it--that means that you're not just talking about the weather. anyone can do that, you dont want to be anyone. you want to stand out, you want to make an impression. the way you do that is to help bring out her emotional side by thinking about problems or challenges she can answer that dont require a lot of time or effort. and if it's a woman she'll always have an opinion and usually responsive in sharing it. for you it's not about her answering the question--its about keeping the conversation rolling smoothly by talking about what she's talking about. that link has way better examples than what i can offer at the moment.


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