Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
Like Tree12Likes

Thread: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

  1. #1
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    I had an interesting conversation with a woman yesterday that inspired me to write this post. If you see any red flags from a woman next her.

    I've dated allot of women including some that were emotionally unstable. The worst thing you can do for yourself is date an emotionally unstable girl. Since I've dated a few of them myself I have become an expert at spotting these girls.

    I don't care if you only want to screw her or how "cool" and hot she is. It's not worth it. It will drag you down regardless of your intentions.

    I'll give a few examples of what a "red flag" is for these types of women.

    I was texting this girl I've been talking too for a few months and I recently moved back into her area. I know she's really into me because she told me when she was drunk. I tried to set up a date with her for today because she was free. Here's the last part of the text exchange after I invited her out and told her we are going dutch.

    Her: hahahaha you ass!
    Me: There's two locations so go to the one on xxxx
    Her: I may show up
    Me: Like I said. Wear something cute.
    Her: Why? Mondays I wear sweats, you're asking too much.

    I see this as a shit test but I know she's committed to going by this response. I really don't care if she dresses in sweats but I decide not to address it and end the convo because I'm going to bed.

    Me: I'm looking forward to seeing you Beth. You have a good night. :-)

    Her: Dude you don't have to just cut off conversations like you have something better to do- I'm prolly not going tomorrow- maybe we can find a weekend to all go up to Joe's cabin or something

    Me: Whoa! I'm going to bed THAT'S why I cut off the conversation. I'm going to cancel on tomorrow. Maybe I'll see you around.

    Her: Wow. Hah alright. sorry

    Did you see her reaction when I ended the conversation?! This is a BIG red flag. This girl just showed me that she is immature and emotionally unstable. This girl is a Barbie doll but she just got nexted with that text. I'm not going to hang out with her and I will be ignoring future texts from her. If I see her in person I will be friendly but that's it. She messed up.

    There's another girl I was talking to a few years back that was very attractive. I hung out with her once and made out with her but she had to go shortly after. I got her to admit through text that she would dress up in a sexy 80's outfit and strip for me! She was super excited about it too! This girl had a boyfriend to boot!

    The day she was going to come over and strip for me was a Friday. I told her I had to do some homework first and I would let her know when I was done so she could come over. She then told me she wasn't going to come over and seemed pissed. I said "ok" and got off the phone. I logged onto facebook an hour later and found an angry facebook message from her.

    The message basically said: I can't believe your doing homework on a Friday night instead of hanging out with me. That is SO rude. blah blah blah.

    I read this message in disbelief and responded with: My schoolwork is the most important thing in my life right now. I need to do well in school. I barely even know you and I TOLD you I would let you know when I was done. You lashing out at me for this is ridiculous and totally uncalled for.

    She then apologized but it was too late. That message was a HUGE red flag. I don't need to deal with bullshit like that. If she's already pulling stuff like this now just think what she'll pull later. This is another girl that was immature and emotionally unstable. I never hung out with her again even after her repeated attempts to contact me and hang out. NEXT!

    If you see anything similar to this move on! It's not worth it. I would rather be with a really cool 6 then an emotionally unstable 10.

    All you guys are worried about the girl. Allot of you guys would have thought you did something wrong when this happened. You didn't! Stop worrying about her. You need to stand up for yourself and do what's best for you. What's best for you is nexting these types of women and finding a better one.

    There's WAY too many awesome women around to waste your time with women like these. If a woman does something you don't like walk away from her! You're the shit and she's lucky to be spending time with you!

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    Red flags ARE important to notice...
    However; I kinda see her comments as more of a teasing / razzing /sarcastic thing...

    Unless there was more to it than described.

    Example: MY ex told me (after a bit of a fight about me having to go, so I could work on recording / mixing my band's CD) "If you leave, I'm breaking up with you... and slammed the door."

    THAT was a red flag that I SHOULD HAVE listened to, but chose to ignore... BIG MISTAKE.... HUGE!!

    That said, YOU know the actual context & underlying circumstances to your post... so most likely, you're absolutely right.

    I DO however stress that guys learn the difference between: sarcasm & shit tests & REAL red flags.



    But definitely a VERY useful post!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    You're right T-Mal. There was definitely more underlying things I picked up on with the girl in the first example that I did not explain. They weren't big red flags but subtleties that were "off". I then received that last text and realized what was going on. She wasn't razzing or being sarcastic/sassy. She was genuinely pissed.

    That being said I've been with enough emotionally unstable women that I can tell VERY quickly when I meet one.

    There's more to it then that last bit of the conversation but if your intuition is telling you she's bad...she probably is.

  4. #4
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,765, Level: 32
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 135
    Overall activity: 34.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    280
    Points
    2,765
    Level
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    129

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    I really like this thread Direct, but I feel like it would of been better if you included a list of "Red Flags" for people to spot. I'll include a few.

    1.) She idolizes Taylor Swift or Marilynn Monroe. This is personal bias, but every girl I've ever seriously dated, or hooked up with, that has thought Taylor Swift was awesome, or Marilynn Monroe was so inspirational and Deep, has turned out to be a crazy, psychotic, devil woman straight from the pits of hell.

    2.) She lies about little shit.

    3.) She has abandonment or serious family issues. (Don't try to save her, it's nearly impossible. She has to change from the inside.) If you try to save a girl like this, be ready for a long journey of pain and trust issues, heartache, etc.

    4.) She doesn't have a phone.

    5.) She "hates Drama" and not literally hates drama. She actually loves drama and just says she hates drama because she's stupid.

    6.) She's friends with a ton of guys and only friends with 1 or 2 girls. It's not a big deal so much, but if the ratio is 20:1 or 10:1, then that's a fucking red flag.

    7.) She does hard drugs of any kind frequently (more than once a month). (Heroin, Cocaine, Acid, Mushrooms, Xanax, etc.)

    8.) She gets drunk more than once a week, every week.

    9.)Her best friends are farking psychotic. Birds of a feather flock together, and don't ever believe that she's any different. (There can be exceptions, but they're rare. YOU are not an exception until proven otherwise.)

    10.) She doesn't have a job, been to jail, "Has a record" etc. (Obviously there are exceptions to this to. If she has 1 MIP from when she was in college, then that's different than Manslaughter.)

    -----I mean the list could go on forever. There's 10 that you can expand on, or maybe create your own list. I just felt like lurkers might light to see some example Red Flags to look for in a potential crush or girl they like.-----


    -kyle.

  5. #5
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
    Points: 23,461, Level: 94
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 889
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    CF, IA
    Posts
    1,097
    Points
    23,461
    Level
    94
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    994

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    I don't care if you only want to screw her or how "cool" and hot she is. It's not worth it. It will drag you down regardless of your intentions.

    I appreciate this.

    For the record, all women have insecurities, just varying at different levels. A "red flag" is anything indicative of low value relative to you and your priorities. For the most part, I don't like girls who are daddy's money. I enjoy the hustle and need a girl who feels the same (dating/pickup, either still applies). So to me a girl who presents the image of independent yet actually turns out to be a trust fund baby is a red flag. This isn't so for many guys. Plenty would love nothing more than arm candy. Again, relative, priorities.

    But to add to Kyle's list, here's a few that I would add specifically to the college kids:

    She is what she talks about. Sound simple enough, but people often need reminded. If she talks about gossip/celebs/material things, what do you think her priorities are?

    She is how she spends her time. Take Away all the bullsh*t (classes, work if it's not something she's passionate about, chores, etc) and what's left? Netflix? Is Netflix a priority in your life?

    She is the people that she surrounds herself with (and what she reads). Yall should have heard this before.

    She is her beliefs, and if she's not sure what they are what do you think that says?

    These are all true past college of course, but having recently graduated I've realized just how deceiving value can be in college. For the most part, people don't represent themselves yet; they represent their parents.

    Food for thought.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  6. #6
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 11,383, Level: 70
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 267
    Overall activity: 60.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered10000 Experience PointsSocial
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,000
    Points
    11,383
    Level
    70
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    518

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    This post is not bad at all but then you need to turn up calibration especially for the second one you wrote about.personally i would still be talking to that girl.one girl asked me whether i really find her sexy.i had never used that word.that doesn't mean she is psych.Your analysis based on something wrong you did as in failing her shitest and another girl wanting to hang out with you is off.heck some girls cry uncontrollably doesn't mean they have issues.in a nutshell everyone has a peak of no return at a certain point i used to next any girl that asked me to reapt my opener twice, now i have them do something else..simply take their hand...

  7. #7
    SolidT is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 126, Level: 2
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 43.8%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    54
    Points
    126
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    I like the direction thread is going, been practicing a bit these days seeing improvement.

  8. #8
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    This post is not bad at all but then you need to turn up calibration especially for the second one you wrote about.personally i would still be talking to that girl.one girl asked me whether i really find her sexy.i had never used that word.that doesn't mean she is psych.Your analysis based on something wrong you did as in failing her shitest and another girl wanting to hang out with you is off.heck some girls cry uncontrollably doesn't mean they have issues.in a nutshell everyone has a peak of no return at a certain point i used to next any girl that asked me to reapt my opener twice, now i have them do something else..simply take their hand...

    Dude that second girl wrote me a 5 paragraph essay on how big of a "piece of shit" I was for doing homework for a couple hours BEFORE I hung out with her. I can't remember the whole message because it was four years ago. As soon as I read it I wanted to run for the hills. How is that failing a shit test? I later found out from others that she cheats on her bf (who is now her husband) all the time and has serious mental issues (She's been to the psych ward). I'm pretty sure I had the right read on that one.

    Update on the first girl. She texted me two days later apologizing profusely and admitted that it was "a failed attempt at flirting" and that she didn't want me thinking she "was a glorified b!tch". I told her she should use smileys a little more often and it would have been more clear. She agreed then wanted to hang out with me this Friday. I'm going to give her a second chance (even if she wasn't joking about the first text) because she took that initiative and apologized. Again Hardrock, not sure how I failed a sh!t test here. I stood my ground and set boundaries in a non-emotional way. I then showed a willingness to walk away and even if I misinterpreted her text she respected that and apologized.

    @Kyle- Good list dude. The getting drunk, doing hard drugs, and having a TON of guy friends are really good ones. I would add an infatuation with Brittany Spears to the celebrity list. Brittany went crazy and shaved her hair and the crazy girls LOVE her.

  9. #9
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 11,383, Level: 70
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 267
    Overall activity: 60.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered10000 Experience PointsSocial
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,000
    Points
    11,383
    Level
    70
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    518

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    a lot of things were off in there.either ways may avoid making snap judgments and putting girls in categories like their crazy etc when you might have missed and got sunk in a loophole.bad for growth however there are red triggers for everyone.

  10. #10
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 912, Level: 17
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 88
    Overall activity: 22.2%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    129
    Points
    912
    Level
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    48

    Default Re: Red Flags: If you see one LEAVE.

    Ok, I laughed so hard at Direct's examples. Literally hilarious.

    Kyle's list of 10 red flags, wish I had that from the beginning cuz I've actually been with a few of those without realizing it. Good thing it never went anywhere. I've pretty much been with like 2 or 3 normal girls based on that list HAHAHA.

    I'm actually going to write that list down. I know I'll need it in the future


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. addressing red flags in a new relationship
    By jackstraw98 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 04-11-2013, 04:37 AM
  2. Alright, how do I respond to this? Should I just leave it?
    By LiveToWinBuddy in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-31-2013, 08:07 AM
  3. How should I approach this ?? or leave it ?
    By A380 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-25-2013, 09:19 PM
  4. Bandit- A Leave of Absence
    By Bandit in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 09-20-2012, 07:10 PM
  5. Shitting where u eat right before u leave, I need sum help
    By Soosmoove in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 03-16-2012, 03:08 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com