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  1. #1
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default So Confused about if this was a "date" or not...Prude girl, need help!

    Hey guys! So about a week or so ago, I met this girl through OkCupid and started texting her back and forth non-stop. I've established a very playful vibe through texting: (role-playing, witty and funny scenarios, future projections, etc.)

    Today, me and this girl met up for the first time to grab bubble tea at this local place near our college campus. As I started getting to know her, I was surprised by the fact that she wasn't very receptive to me being physical with her especially when she flirts back and forth through text. Initially when I met her, I gave her a big hug. Later on the date, we sat in the grass and talked more (she was talking probably 80% of the time) but I didn't really sense her being attracted to me. I was normally going to hold her hand but I could sense that she'd be weird-ed out by it. Honestly, I'm not even sure if we were on a date in the 1st place. How do I tell?

    And also should I be direct with her and ask her out again but label it as a "date" this time? Or does she already know it was a date but is just the prude/shy-type?

  2. #2
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So Confused about if this was a "date" or not...Prude girl, need help!

    it being a date or not doesn't really matter all too much if you want to show your affection or if you want to kiss her or hug her. all of those signs of affection should come naturally to you when you feel it. you should be honest to yourself about what you're feeling especially if you like the girl. the more you build it up into the disney format of how love or attraction works the more that it's going to be harder to feel in the moment when you're with the girl. forget the rules of how society has defined what's appropriate. be a man and kiss her when its right. get out of your head 2nd guessing yourself and be in the moment and just enjoy her company.

    also if you frame things under "a date" you might be building more Tension than what she might want or need to be relaxed. if you think she's the kind of person who needs labels in her life then ask her out on a date--in my opinion just keep it simple and say you thought about going to do something some where at some specific time and you thought she should join because it would be fun. be cool, keep things simple and dont over react.

  3. #3
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: So Confused about if this was a "date" or not...Prude girl, need help!

    Yeah that's actually a good perspective to take on this issue. This girl is pretty young (20 years old) and I'm not sure if she has had much experience in the dating world. On her profile, she said she would only have sex after the wedding and she also doesn't drink at all.

    I wasn't really on my A-game when I met her: 1) Not as confident or natural as I usually am. 2) Was kind of recovering from a hangover so couldn't hold a conversation as well as I normally do. 3) Didn't really lead for many situations.

    So far she has responded back to my text messages every time but I noticed she has never initiated a conversation via text. I'm thinking of doing a Freeze Out for a day or two. Does anyone have any advice on how to get her to chase you?

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So Confused about if this was a "date" or not...Prude girl, need help!

    i've been trying to find an answer to this myself... but what i'm starting to realize is... get her to qualify herself. the game is who invests more you or her... half of the time if it's text i believe you should keep it fun and easy and sometimes games are great with breaking down that wall.

    as for freezing out for a day or two i dont think there's anything wrong with that. i'm currently doing that too because i just kept texting every day (luckily not every hour or something).. but make sure you keep her emotional interest by changing the topics you talk about from just normal day things to even challenging her sexuality in a playful way to dreams and goals... try not to punish or pull answers too much out of her.


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