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Thread: Pulling Facebook Info to Start Convo

  1. #11
    twla is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Pulling Facebook Info to Start Convo

    thanks again artandale! Any suggestions on putting the male sexuality out there but not come off as too offensive? Carrying a casual conversation and flirting has always been a struggle for me to juggle both.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Pulling Facebook Info to Start Convo

    honestly i'm still struggling with it myself. one thing you need to know is that too much comfort = friend zone. too much flirtation = slut zone (which applies to you being one too). if you're looking for a relationship you need a bit of a balance. honestly as a man in these scenarios you should always try to lead the conversations. and when you feel like there's been too much comfort --you need to break that rapport and build tension.

    example..
    say i'm with this girl--we'll call her... Kelly (wished this blonde HB8 existed but she doesn't). we've been talking for say 10 minutes at my place and we're cooking dinner. we just finished talking about what we both did today and it's starting to feel like too much equal back and fourth and it doesn't feel like she's really giving that look of desire that i want. so i give her my full attention including my body language and gaze into her eyes. in my mind i'm projecting how beautiful she is and that i want to kiss her. by thinking about kissing her i look at her lips and seconds later back to her eyes. it's probably been about 10 to 15 seconds of silence and and she's slightly awkward but since i've got a grin / smile / smirk at her she knows that i'm not exhibiting anything scary, angry or confused--i'm delighted pretty much. i've officially created tension. i control that moment. now i have to escalate with a kiss to reward her for not ignoring me, not saying i'm awkward and really reward her for letting me get closer to her.

    when you create tension you're invading personal space with giving her the option of backing out if she's not comfortable. silence & eye contact are key to creating a connection and pushing tension keeping her mind wondering. it's not a comfortable feeling to have tension--that's why you reward her tension with your physical touch. and when you don't want to make it seem like you're too graby or just in to grobe use your words to escalate your thoughts. flirt!!! what you do to emotionally connect can still work to sexually connect as well. if you don't have any experience in verbal sexual escalation i'd suggest you think of it just like Kino with the future tense. take the women's facial queue and maybe bite your lip too as you're thinking or about to say what you wanna say.

    (i stole this from some free advice website)
    Verbal escalation ladder:
    Playful sexual innuendo – “Wanna touch my hotdog?” ( I have a small toy hotdog on my phone)
    Accuse her of being the aggressor – “you were staring at my boobs, you girls are all the same”
    Sexual role-play statement – “I can see see you getting excited by tying guys up on the bed. But I’d prefer to tie you up.”
    Sexual question – “What’s your favorite position?”
    Statement of sexual interest – “You have the sexiest (legs, a$$, etc.)”
    Increasingly Sexual questions – “what can a guy do to you to make you most excited?”
    Sexual role-play questions – “If we were in your bed together, what would you do to make me most excited?”
    Calibrate your responses based on her reactions.

  3. #13
    twla is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Pulling Facebook Info to Start Convo

    very insightful! thanks for the material!

    She and I are friends on facebook now, from that I'm thinking about opening with the following:

    "hey! we just met but you gotta do me a favor!"
    (naturally she'll respond with what?"
    "You say you like to know someone better first via facebook so be honest… do I seem like an awesome guy or do I seem like an awesome guy?"

    It sounds cheesier every time I read it back to myself, but I feel that the initial start should be a bit playful. Any critiques?

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Pulling Facebook Info to Start Convo

    i don't think your opening works with what you're asking.. i'd be very confused if i got that message. think intently about what you're looking to get and what kind of emotion you want to spark out of her if you're just throwing stuff to kill time until you see her in person again. try to be more direct in your text, putting personality is fine too... i'd suggest you take a closer look to T-Mal's pointers for text because she's going to be reading this. it's not a verbal conversation... with that said--make sure your FB messages sound more like how you would sound in person. sure you can put yourself in the assumed position of already her BF in the presentation of your attitude and wording. that might come off a bit flirtatious. don't just message her to message her. message her to get her to laugh, smile or to get her opinion on something that makes her really look into her own world in which she can respond back on a personal level. you want her to invest in the conversation. if you can't do that for now i'd suggest to use FB to strictly use it as a platform to invite her own to cool parties you're going to or have her help you go shop for something that a woman's perspective would be helpful for... look at her interests on FB and see how she can fit to helping you out. you're more than welcomed to comment on some of her photos but don't come off as stalkery by liking or commenting on everything... those are red flags.. put yourself in her shoes...

  5. #15
    twla is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Pulling Facebook Info to Start Convo

    Thanks! I'm currently reading through T-Mal's guide (again). But with your suggestions that kind of brings my question full circle to how much info I should pull from her facebook to initiate the conversation. To me, it seems too intrusive to try and get her emotionally invested in a conversation from information I pull from her page. The reason I feel this way is because it's unlike her sharing those with me when we were chatting in person. But perhaps doing so shows her that I show interested and went through her page?


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