Every girl wants a better man

The inner core, is the most overlooked aspect when trying out the dating scene. Most men look for the "quick fix", the "pick up lines", etc that try to get the girl with the minimal amount of effort. What many fail to realise, is that getting the girl is only the beginning, holding onto the girl is the difficult part. Quick fixes may work, pick up lines may work, but they don't last. So unless you're only looking for one night stands, at some point in time, you will have to turn towards your inner core.

I believe that there are two parts within the inner core. One involves your past accomplishments, your character, your personality, and what makes you you. The second part of the inner core involves a less intuitive definition of "a better man".

(Part 1)

Being super rich is one way of being better. It is one way to easily tell which guy is better, since it can be easily quantifyable. A lot of women are faulted for being gold-diggers, to go after the richest man. But if you think about their options, you will realise that it's the most logical choice.

I want you to stop for a moment and compare yourself with your best male friend. And ask yourself, why a girl would choose yourself over your friend? Is there something that makes you instantly the choice? Is there something that makes you obviously better than him?

The fact that you're hanging out with your best male friend consistently will probably mean that the two of you are quite alike. Afterall, birds of the same kind flock together. If you widen the social circle, you'll then realise that a lot of guys, are actually quite the same. So if every guy is quite the same, which guy would make the most logical choice? Naturally the one with the fattest bank account.

Luckily, in the real world, women typically base their decisions on how they feel. This provides a subjective context in which your ability to be "better" can overwrite that greed for money. So what makes you better?

I'm a strong believer that every girl wants a guy whom she can look up to. Someone from whom she can learn from. Someone whom she respects. This applies to all aspects of life. If you have better fashion sense than her, that's something worthy to look up to; If you can cook better than her, that's another thing; If you can change the light bulb, and you do, that's something she looks up to; If you can do public speaking better than her, that's a quality she'll admire; If you are mentally stronger, physically stronger, more courageous, more adventurous, wiser, smarter, etc. In short, she will be attracted to you, if you are better than her.

Every woman will have a different measure of what is more important to her. A lot grow up seeing different characters and personalities within their family that it is impossible to determine exactly which quality is most important to her. However, if you continue on to the next part, you'll understand what you need to do, to become "better".

(Part 2)

This second part is what I consider the more important part of the inner core. If a man is able to truly understand this concept, then the first part will naturally fall into place.

In this definition of "a better man", I will be using the word "better" as a verb. In other words, "a better man" is one who is continuously improving himself, to become a better person than you originally were. To become a better person than you are today.

So you managed to get a really hot girlfriend. That girl who becomes the center of attraction every time she enters the door. You remember her for that perfect figure, the "enough but not too much makeup". After being together for 6 months, she gains 20kg, stops putting on makeup, horrible in bed, etc. How would you feel?

Unfortunately, a lot of both men and women alike fall in this trap. Upon securing the person of his or her dreams, they fall complacent, they think that their job is done. So they lay down on their armchair and refuse to move a muscle. You don't want to be caught in that.

A truly healthy relationship will involve both parties influencing each other in ways unimaginable. Both parties should be able to motivate each other to push the other person to a higher level. That is how we grow as individuals, to become a better person, to better yourself, and each other.

Don't think for a moment that you can stop, because, the day that you stop, you're dead. You get complacent, you think that the rest of your life is a breeze, and you stop improving. People will catch up to you. Besides, do you really want to lie on your deathbed thinking that you wasted your life away?


I've always found the inner core the most important part of the dating scene. A lot of things fall in place when you get your inner core right. You become happier, you know what you are doing, you know where you are going, and you do the things you love. It then becomes natural, that when you have all this in place, women will flock to you, and then it is up to you to choose the best.


Yours sincerely,
Desmond Leong