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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Opening lines, so many failures!

  1. #1
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    Default Opening lines, so many failures!

    Alright guys, I'm getting slammed on POF. So far I'm at less than a 10% success rate. I like to personalize each message for each profile, though with these results, and possibly the lack of wit I thought I had, I might switch to a template.

    These are the messages I've sent in the last 3 or 4 days to girls. I just moved to NC from Northern Michigan. My profile would on average grab 3 messages a day up there from girls who said they loved it. However, now living in an area with 20 times the number of people, I'm lucky to get a message a week! And I had some help from T-Mal so I know the profile is pretty solid

    Thought these might give you guys something to work with, either something to do or not to do. Some of them are obviously better than others, and reading over a few has got me wondering what I was thinking Like I said I haven't had much success but thought these could be of use. For times sake I'm not going to explain what was on each girl's profile, infer from them what you will. Hope they help!

    Only one picture!? Your cute – No response (Please forgive this one, I’m getting worn out)

    I'm just gonna go out on a limb here but I'm gonna say your ex-husband was a tatooed twig with the "southern" appeal of a confederate flag – No response

    I love how confident and assertive teachers are, no matter where you are your still always in teach mode, directing and guiding, even if it's the guy bagging your groceries at Wal-Mart. You just can't turn it off. – No response

    Hey there! I've ran across your profile a few times now and thought it about time to shoot you a message. I love that your a dancer! I've been known to slide a pretty sweet cupid shuffle. I don't usually like to brag, but when you got it, you got it. – No response

    You seem spunky and fun, and you share an obsession with pigs! I've been counting down the days until they start flying and I can tell everyone I told you so. – No response

    Haha.. not ambitious... I love some honesty in a woman. Is this why it says sooommmee college? – No response

    You don't bring that AK with you on a first date, do you? – No response

    A beach bum and a princess!? You might be the female version of me haha There's never a bad day for the beach down here! – No response

    I'd totally whip your butt at some bar trivia! Don't wanna brag but I pretty much crush any category involving Drew Barrymore movies – No response

    The RX8 isn't that cool... You sound so strong willed and determined, I love it. Getting to the gym can be so hard, it helps to have some motivation. Nothing some Arnold inspirational vidoes can't fix! – No response

    Netflix is so going in my interests! That and the fact that you suggest pool and a beer for a first date totally makes up for the fact that you lived in Ohio I love that your an HR person, i think it really takes a special, one of a kind, extraordinary type of person to be in that field... – No response (I’m in HR)

    (She messaged first, saying profile made her smile) Haha, good, that's what it was supposed to do Beach, gym, tan, your just a regular Carolina girl aren't ya... – Got a date set for tomorrow

    I love your stance on being serious all the time as bad for your health. Laughing at all the stupid little things you do makes life so much easier. That and accepting how much of a goofball you might be. You know what I'm talking about.. (tongue face) – No response

    I don't know why but your profile cracked me up... It's okay to go to church for guys, you go for Jesus and he's a guy.
    And see, I was going for a nice, short and sweet joke, but now I have to ruin it for your character limit. You may be getting better messages, but your crampin my style! (tongue face) – (she had a character limit set for messages, to keep the creeps out!) 12 messages total, didn’t reply to date request


    I couldn't help noticing how intelligent and well rounded you seem... but that was before I read you were an Ohio State fan. And your from Michigan!! You'd get beat up for that where I'm from. – 10 messages total, she stopped replying

    It's definitely your old age, but don't worry it'll only get worse (tongue face) – No response

    So basically every weekend you could be found on the beach with your pup... (tongue face) – No response

    That's so cool you played basketball in college! I bet you throw when heck of an elbow (tongue face) You girls play so hard when it comes to basketball. My senior year we scrimmaged the varsity girls team... I walked away with a fat lip and a sprained ankle. – No response

    You spelled quiet wrong... jk (tongue face) but seriously, you did. I like seeing that your from Canada, I'm from Northern Michigan and am still trying to break in this heat! It's like vacation all the time down here – No response

    You can't have a first date in a group setting! – Replied in detail, I stalled out and got no response

    Anyone ever tell you you're adorable? – No response (Again, I’m sorry )

    Your personality says nomad, but your pictures say party animal! One of these things is not like the other... – No response

    Lovin your Marilyn Monroe quote!... I'm sure your just insanely ridiculous – Replied, exchanged numbers, had day 1, still texting for day 2

    (She messaged first, said profile made her smile all the way through) Haha, glad to entertain all the way through. That's just how I roll – Replied, 20 messages all together, again stalled out, and didn’t go for date, no response

    Feel free to give some feedback too! I could probably use it!

    (Had to fill in some of the Smilies due to image limitations)

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    It sounds like you're commenting on the same things most guys probably are.
    So, no matter how "different" your messages might be, you're still going for the obvious topic so it's not standing out.

    I messaged a girl with purple hair a few months ago... but didn't say anything about her purple hair. And after several messages she said, "You're the first person who never mentioned anything about my hair. "

    So, try to avoid the "obvious / eager" rapport topic.

    One of the last messages I started sending was something like:

    "You seem to have just the right mix of class & sophistication, with a touch of dork & nerd thrown in.

    I'm impressed... We could totally be friends, as long as you promise to never eat the last cookie without offering to share it with me.

    Hope your day is full of awesomeness!"


    I can't remember exactly what I was writing, but it was pretty much along those lines; and I had a LOT of positive replies.



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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    meh, online dating... i understand it, even dabble with it myself but you're not talking to these women. you're talking to their dreams and perception of what they desire. so--right off the back they're judging you. basically the first instance of contacting them they put up a B!tchShield and Sh!tTest you.

    honestly i think your approaches were ok. some decent negs were in play but you have to remember that negging right off the back isn't going to really open up the 9's and 10's who are used to guys hitting on them. even a light neg would harm your chances. if she responds then it means she's not as jaded.

    i don't have any other advice for you but i think talking to people in person is really the way to go. most of these technology based interactions with the opposite sex is mainly for sexual purposes in which both parties can pick their physically attractive mate. i've never heard of a fat lazy guy on an online dating site that's picked up a HB10.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    "You seem to have just the right mix of class & sophistication, with a touch of dork & nerd thrown in.

    I'm impressed... We could totally be friends, as long as you promise to never eat the last cookie without offering to share it with me.

    Hope your day is full of awesomeness!"

    lol t-mal is way better than i am at these text games haha. that's a great opener... now i can imagine a lot of people just copying and pasting it lol.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    I'm not a huge online guy but your messages seems way too wordy. I relate it to text, which I do alot. You want to say something quick and simple. Doesn't have to be three or four words, but should come to the point quickly.

    I guess since I'm from the east coast, you get used to being direct and keeping it focused when speaking to anyone. TMAL has great advice as usual.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  6. #6
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    It sounds like you're commenting on the same things most guys probably are.
    So, no matter how "different" your messages might be, you're still going for the obvious topic so it's not standing out.

    I messaged a girl with purple hair a few months ago... but didn't say anything about her purple hair. And after several messages she said, "You're the first person who never mentioned anything about my hair. "

    So, try to avoid the "obvious / eager" rapport topic.

    I see what your getting at here. Any idiot can comment about what's on the surface of a girl's profile, but it takes a stronger mind (maybe one of that of a PUA ) to see what's underneath it all. That's tricky and it almost in a way sounds like cold reading, especially if the girl has little to no information on her profile.

    I've been working on it and came across a possible HB10 on POF. She has 8 pics or so but very little on her profile... same usual BS "I want someone who I can be myself around, and like to laugh with..." I concocted up this line, which might still play on her looks but I thought may stand out... I don't know.

    "From the little you've put on your profile .. you seem really sweet, I bet your misunderstood a lot more times than not. Kind of like the Beast, or Prince Adam, if you prefer "

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    Definitely like a small cold read.
    But it's really just flirting by making assumptions... and MOST girls respond to that.



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  8. #8
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    Default Re: Opening lines, so many failures!

    Any suggestion on the opening message for HB10? ("From the little you've put on your profile .. you seem really sweet, I bet your misunderstood a lot more times than not. Kind of like the Beast, or Prince Adam, if you prefer ")

    I've adjusted my technique and have actually had about 5 out of 10 hit me back up. One being a HB9 who said she almost deleted my message because of my screen name (Muffinstud) :/ Luckily I said something she liked.


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