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  • 1 Post By T-Mal
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Thread: Is it really just about the pictures?

  1. #1
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Is it really just about the pictures?

    I've spent what I consider quite a bit of time trying to perfect my online dating profiles on the likes of PoF, OKcupid and Badoo. I've read plenty of guides on here and various other sources most recently I've tried to personalise Bosox's about me section so it fits me and am currently using the following...

    "I'm a fun and happy guy looking to meet fantastically fun, interesting and like minded women and I could sit here and go on and on about the great qualities my Nana swore to god I possessed, but I'd prefer to keep it nice short and none embarrassing for now :-P haha

    Though if you do want my references I'll be sure to make them available.

    All joking aside, I'm a student and event security operative who's just wanting to hopefully meet someone who can hold an engaging, fun conversation (ridiculously hard to find...) and knows where she is headed in life.

    Women who have more than the occasional cigarette or think one direction are awesome, don't message me... I'll message you haha

    Otherwise, feel free to message me if you're interested and hopefully we'll get the chance to get to know one another
    !"

    And I always try to make my messages unique and individual to the girl I'm messaging yet trying to keep it short and funny without blowing smoke up their asses... the results, most girls I message view my profile a small cross section of them exchange messages with me for a little while but seem to vanish sooner rather than later.

    I've actually started asking for feedback, I've asked them to be brutally honest about my profile and the few that have responded have gotten back to me with things a long the lines of "You're lovely, your profile is good but you're just not my type"

    Which leads me to believe this is more about pictures than anything else... the problem I have is I'm not very photogenic, I'm still over weight though losing quite steadily and due to serious lack of funding do not have much opportunity for getting good pictures with friends or while out and about etc. So my offering is restricted to ones that are woefully out of date or selfies taken in the bathroom mirror which are never great quality...

    My pof profile is "mr_matt_uk" if you want to check it out...

    It's getting to the point now where I'm wondering if either I should give up on online dating until I've lost a lot more weight or can afford to get some professional yet casual pictures taken as it just seems no matter what else I do if I don't have good pictures I just can't get anywhere!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Is it really just about the pictures?

    The written section doesn't stand out. It sounds SOOOOO similar to what lots of guys write... and you're not hooking them or leaving them wanting to know more.

    Also- the pictures.

    There's nothing that conveys fun, adventure, excitement.. etc.
    Selfies aren't going to catch a girl's eye. ESPECIALLY if you think you're not photogenic.

    You need your pictures to tell more about you. Pictures are your "first impression marketing tool".

    It's not ALL about photos when it comes to a dating profile, but if the photos fall flat, the girls probably won't read the written section.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
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    Ivo
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    Default Re: Is it really just about the pictures?

    Interesting topic. Although i don't prefer dating sites, because I think they kill the desire to talk with girls let me share my honest view about your case.
    1)there are no "unique" messages. I have been receiving instant invitation for a date after five minutes talking only for what she and I are doing in the current day. There was nothing unique, and I didn't waste my time thinking what to write to be original.
    2) Use online messages only for flat conversations and show your wish to see her soon. Getting to know each other well and messaging with weeks is not a good one. It seems that you don't need her and it is ok for you only to chat with her. Pretty girls are eager to see the persone they are writing to in life. After feeling a little spark they are curious how he really look like. If you kill that desire why should they lose more time for no reason?
    3) Pictures do really matters! They show your life and who you are. I use only tinder for online flirting and when I chat with one girl that I like, I use facebook as a bridge to see more of her pictures.
    Next post will be my opinion on your sections.

  4. #4
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    Ivo
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    Default Re: Is it really just about the pictures?

    "I'm a fun and happy guy looking to meet fantastically fun, interesting and like minded women and I could sit here and go on and on about the great qualities my Nana swore to god I possessed, but I'd prefer to keep it nice short and none embarrassing for now :-P haha
    Too confused I read it three times to understand what you want to say. When you tell something fun let other people laugh. With this hahha and smiles at the end you say to me "see this is the fun part laugh now" and that make me feel like you suppose I don't have a sense of humour.

    Though if you do want my references I'll be sure to make them available.
    That seems too needy for me.

    All joking aside, I'm a student and event security operative who's just wanting to hopefully meet someone who can hold an engaging, fun conversation (ridiculously hard to find...) and knows where she is headed in life.
    THis is good one but agan at the begining...once you have marked when to laugh now you telling me to be serious.
    Women who have more than the occasional cigarette or think one direction are awesome, don't message me... I'll message you haha

    Again that laugh part...like you are a lonely comedian with no audience looking for appreciation.

    Otherwise, feel free to message me if you're interested and hopefully we'll get the chance to get to know one another!"
    Hopefully ??? Only this word show that you are keen to chat with no matter who.
    This is my review. I`m honest and don't offence if something touched your ego.

  5. #5
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is it really just about the pictures?

    I don't take any offence at anything you guys have mentioned, after all I'm here to learn and take advantage of your knowledge...

    I'll try to make it more engaging and get rid of the smiley faces and crap, which seems to be a bad habit of mine. Is there anything else you can suggest?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Is it really just about the pictures?

    So I had this big response typed out and then I hit "backspace" right after I accidentally clicked out of the text box and it went "back" a page and deleted everything. I'm super pissed right now.

    Anyway, I apologize but you get the short version of what I wrote (maybe that's a good thing haha).

    Bullet points:

    -Your "About Me" could use another revamp with more energy (not annoying energy but something unique that will catch their attention and stand out).

    -I know what ugly guys look like (despite being strongly heterosexual and definitely male), and you are not an ugly guy. Your looks aren't holding you back to any extreme sense.

    -Your entire profile conveys "Laid back," which is what 95% of all guy's profiles convey. It's "Safe" which is why we tend to do it, we don't want to put ourselves out there in this uncomfortable zone of the internet where anyone can come across it. Be bold, don't be safe. "Safe" is boring, and unattractive.

    -Your pictures are horrible. Sorry, but the one of you sleeping needs to go, as does one of the phone selfies. Grab a friend with a nice camera, go out and have fun with said friend, and then have him/her take a few photos of you in casual-nice clothing, with a solid smile or showing some form of personality from you. Grab another photo with a group of friends out having fun - "I am a fun person who hangs out with other fun people" is the message you want to send.

    -A girl I was messaging awhile back had this in her profile: "PS if you're super attractive, I'll probably reply to the usual "hey wuts up." But otherwise, let's see a little effort boys."
    --What this means is that obviously if you look like Ryan Gosling she'll message back no matter what you write, but she's still willing to talk to cool people who aren't Ryan Gosling. It shows proof that the stuff here works, you just have to be more innovative than 90% of the lazy weirdos that she gets messages from daily.

    -The message your photos send right now is basically "I sit at home and take pictures of myself...alone. Sometimes it's with my cat." Seriously take some time to take some pictures of yourself with friends. Grab a Facebook photo if you need to.

    -You are clearly afraid to show your personality in your pictures and your whole profile. Let your personality shine through, whatever that is. If you're goofy, be goofy. If you're quirky, be quirky. If you're nerdy, be nerdy. If you're athletic and active, be athletic and active. If you're educated, be educated. Make sense?

    -I had it explained this way and I thought it was awesome: Everyone has preferences in what they're looking for, whether you're talking about dating or yogurt or hobbies, everyone has different preferences. If you ask someone if they want some yogurt, they're going to ask "What flavor?" If you ask someone if they want to play a sport, they're going to ask "What sport?" (Or sometimes they'll ask "Do you have Vanilla?" Or ask, "Are you playing football or volleyball?") If you're too afraid to be Vanilla because you'll miss out on all the Strawberry lovers, then you're going to miss out on everyone, because no one wants to buy a product or play a sport without knowing what it is exactly that they're purchasing or playing. Make sense? If you're nerdy, then a good majority of the spontaneous adventure lovers won't be interested, but a good majority of the similarly nerdy girls will be. However if you don't advertise ANYTHING about yourself, girls don't know what they're getting into, and they'll just assume you don't know who you are, which simply means you are white noise, just like so many failed products that I can't mention because they are failed products - they never made it in the world of business because they were white noise.

    Don't be white noise. Open up and show some personality, and get some better photos dude. It's worth your time to invest a day or at least a few hours to get someone with a nice camera to hook you up with a good photoshoot. Not only for online dating but for, like, everything. You can use appropriate photos for things like "LinkedIn" or other similar networking sites. You can post it on Facebook and get all the likes from all the people, etc.

    Good luck mate. Let me know how things turn out.


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