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  • 1 Post By whitedragon
  • 1 Post By artandale

Thread: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

  1. #1
    cutiepie0807 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    Went on a date with a girl 5 days ago (Tuesday). I think it went pretty well. We kissed goodbye in front of her place. She texted me the same night to let me know she had a good time. The following day, I texted her first, and we texted each other quite a bit that day. The following day, she initiated texting. No texting the following day (Friday). I initiated on saturday and set up our date #2. Today neither one of us has initiated yet. It is too early to tell her interest level, but I think she enjoys flirting with me. I kinda wanna build and maintain momentum, but I don't know what I should be doing to be honest. Do I keep initiating for now? Do I let her initiate it?

  2. #2
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    When is your day 2? It's always good to keep a little momentum, but if you got your day 2 set up, I'd say just confirm it the night before. It's really personal preference. If your text game is tight, stay with it, if it's like mine and needs some work, just maintain and let that day 2 guide you.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    I never care about who initiatates and who doesn't. That is a complete sign of insecurity in my opinion. If I want to text a girl I do. If she texts me first, great. Either way it doesn't make a huge difference. The potency of texting and how you take a dream to reality (meeting someone to sleeping with someone) is whats important. If what you are texting is potent it is never too early to judge her interest, you will already know.

  4. #4
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    i agree that it doesn't matter who initiates first. it's about making sure you can get her interest--hold her interest and flip it so she can show interest so she can keep it interesting for you. i think most guys forget they have the power to walk away--which can be important. its not only for attracting and maintaining a relationship (friendly or sexual) but to make sure that you have a reason to be in the relationship with them. i think people need to focus more about themselves and have fun with it instead of being caught up in their feelings and making those feelings stronger which is harder to move on when its just not worth it. people need to put more value into themselves--not every hot chick or guy is worth it... stop jumping at everything and treat your life like you're worth every penny...
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    I'm usually comfortable with initiating myself up to a 75-25 ratio. We *are* the guys, so just as we're the ones who usually make the approach, ask the girl out, and escalate, I'm fine with doing most of the work in starting a conversation. But, I do expect a girl to initiate every now and then. If a girl NEVER goes out of her way to start a conversation, that leads me to believe that she's not interested in talking, so I take it as an IOD.

    So in your situation, you're fine. She initiated not long ago, so don't be afraid to be the one to do it the next few times. If you determine at some point that she's gone too long without texting you, I really like T-Mal's text that goes, "Ya know, this phone isn't gonna text itself... be a sport & help a brotha out "

  6. #6
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    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    I'm tired of being played for a sucker so I am upping the ante a bit here. My homegirl texts me and initiates every freaking day and it gets annoying. Then she texts me all day and when I ignore her she'll send 2-3 more. She broke up with her BF for me and hung out with her at her house. Next time going for some play time. Anyway I normally over text like I said so I am freezing this other 10 out from the bar till Friday when I get my tattoo and inviting her over cuz I got the place to myself this weekend which is rare.

    So anyway I sent the 10 5 texts the day after and put her on a freeze since I got no response. Because her interest level is low over texting will only make it way worse. This is why I am waiting till Friday. But I ain't just going to throw it all on the table. To play "Hot & Cold" I choose to blow up her phone the other day put her on a freeze for like a week and blow up her phone again this Friday. I will have to try calling her which sucks cuz that will be nerve wrecking. But at least I got a plan to hang out and her to spend the night. But more of lead into that. Now anyway even if she ignores me Friday just to be a bit of a d!ck I will send her pics of my tattoo just to show I don't care because that's what I want.

    The reason being is largely outcome independence. I think women feel that way because when they feel you are attached to the outcome they often reject you flat on your face. "Sorry I have a BF." "There is nothing going on between us." "I am going back to my EX". "This is not her." I am sick of all the lies and BS so I am just playing them a bit by my outcome independence. After dating and texting a couple chicks at work I found out outcome independence and freeze outs can be very effective. The longer I can freeze the more I prolong rejection. The more I text them everyday the more I am seeing fallout. This is why I try to stay along as long as possible so they have some investment and it is harder to let go for them. Even by not texting them and them not texting me they are investing in me because they are wondering what happened to "the guy I met at the bar?" Rather than "oh another daily text from king douchebag".
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  7. #7
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    I texted quite often with one girl--we hung out isolated and in somewhat long durations--i know she enjoys my company but i never made the move. After the last time i hung out with her i kind of gave up on showing interest. At the most ive done the common curtosity of prepping a gift for her--shes going to meet me. Going to kiss close with the hope that it craahea and burns because theres no reason to hold back any more.

    How does all this tie into how to intiate or who intiates first? It doesnt matter because its how you play the game in relation to the type of game you're playing. For me I've already got what I wanted. Everything else is just pure enjoyment on seeing how this gets pieced together OR falls apart. I'm ok with both. You can always intiate first if you want--the important part is to get her to respond emotionally invested. Where i'm with in regards to this chick is that she wants to catch up--i just wanted to give her something. In the end she's investing more than i am.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  8. #8
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So, do I initiate texting from now on or do I let her do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by cutiepie0807 View Post
    Went on a date with a girl 5 days ago (Tuesday). I think it went pretty well. We kissed goodbye in front of her place. She texted me the same night to let me know she had a good time. The following day, I texted her first, and we texted each other quite a bit that day. The following day, she initiated texting. No texting the following day (Friday). I initiated on saturday and set up our date #2. Today neither one of us has initiated yet. It is too early to tell her interest level, but I think she enjoys flirting with me. I kinda wanna build and maintain momentum, but I don't know what I should be doing to be honest. Do I keep initiating for now? Do I let her initiate it?
    Bro, I would say no need to worry about her interest level and here is why: She went on date 1, kissed you goodbye, texted you first THAT night (usually something I do but cool that she did), and then set up a date #2. Have more confidence in yourself bud. Take each little thing as a sign of attraction. When your date 2 comes (unless I'm late and you already had it), text her an hour or two before saying you're running a few minutes behind but you'll still be there. I usually do this for date 1 to be sure they won't flake last minute.

    Then just do your thing, because obviously what you did on date 1 worked well. If she flirts, don't be afraid to get a little sexual if you want, girls like sex! Good luck


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