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  1. #1
    Richghostt is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How to counter the Dreaded LJBF

    So I've been seeing this girl for around a month and we've been getting along pretty great. she came over last night and we had a great time as always. But she texted me saying :

    "So I've been thinking a lot lately and i don't think I want us to be anything more than friends... I have a lot going on and I haven't been myself lately. I wanted to talk to you about this yesterday but i couldn't figure out how to bring it up.

    I need to figure out everything I'm dealing with and get my life back on track before i get involved with someone. If I don't I will end up hurting you or someone else and I can't do that.

    I hope you understand and that we can still hang out."

    So how Do I counter this? I kinda like this girl

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to counter the Dreaded LJBF

    Have you been sexual in the month you've been hanging out? If not, that's the problem.

    As far as countering it--cut it off. Say that your not willing to accept being friends and that if she isn't comfortable with the idea of having an intimate relationship with her, then you're not interested in being friends.

    From that point, either she accepts the relationship on the terms you lay out or you walk away and find someone else.

    Nothing short of what I have said above will work in this scenario. If you choose to not listen to this, then there is a 98% chance that you're stuck in the FZ for eternity and beyond.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    Richghostt is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to counter the Dreaded LJBF

    We've made out a lot and i've been introduced to her friends as well as she has been to mine. Other than that no, nothing sexual

  4. #4
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to counter the Dreaded LJBF

    Like I said, if you've been hanging out for over a month and haven't escalated, then you're going to be put in the friend zone. For future reference, I expect to have sex by the third date at the latest. Occasionally it takes some more time, but this tends to be pretty standard (falls in line with Mystery's idea that a HB typically needs 7 hours to be comfortable with having sex with you).
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  5. #5
    Richghostt is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to counter the Dreaded LJBF

    That's what i'e been trying ever since date 3 but i always get shut down... and yet she sees me a couple days later

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to counter the Dreaded LJBF

    There are ways to counter LMR if you look for it. Plenty of answers on this forum too. I do think you need to decide what you wanna do instead of looking for options. Shes stated she wante to be friends via text. To me that says she isnt willing to be honest with you in person--why? Because if she cared for you as a friend more than someone shes seein she'd want to say it face to face. What shes done here in my opinion is cutting you our of any hopes of a relationship.

    My suggestion if you still want her--acknowledge thats what she wants and thats not what you're looking for. If she cant accept it tell her you're walking away--be the first to say it so you ultimately dont feel rejected because you're deciding what you want even though shes sitting on the side lines trying to be friends. Then continue social proof and display yourself with this uneffected confidence in ways she'll see it. If she responds even based on a look--more than likely shes interested but would probably feel ashamed.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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