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Thread: Woman wants to meet me on POF

  1. #1
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Woman wants to meet me on POF

    I get this message from POF that says a woman on there(about an HB8) wants to meet me. So what I want to know is what should I say to her in a message. She says she likes all kinds of music except classical and rap. I like Classical (rap not so much)so should I tease her for not liking classical and if so how. Should I say something like "well I'm not sure we would get along because you don't like classical and I do. "Also, what else should I say and should I try to go for the texting right away.

  2. #2
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    T-Mal has definitely straightened me out on this one so I have to give props to him. Commenting on what is written on a woman's profile is a shot in the dark. I've undoubtedly learned that from personal experience. Girls definitely like when a guy reads their profile but they love it when a guy can insinuate what their profile indicates about their personality. It's essentially a cold read at it's core, except you have a little information. The most successful number exchanges I have had have happened in 6 to 8 messages. Even if you got her number your still in the same situation on a different social media hotline. Go for the meet up and get her number in order to confirm the details within a few messages.

    "I like what you put in your profile, makes you sound fun and easy going, but you may have missed sophistication without that classical music touch "

  3. #3
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    Yeah I like that last part you said where I tease her about the classical thing.

    Anyway, so are you saying I should immediately try to set up a date or get her number in one or two messages?

  4. #4
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    Your ideal goal should be to set up a date. But it'd be surprising if you could do it one or two messages. From my personal experience, the quickest I've been able to set up a coffee date is in 4 messages from me, and 4 messages from her. You should go for the date i.e. comment that the two of you should get coffee. If she agrees simply say something like "cool, why don't you give me your number and we can text for some details." What happens in between depends on her responses to you.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    Is the message '____wants to meet you' an automated response or her actual message?

    I usually stay aloof if a girl is interested in me to keep her hungry. If I say something too funny, cocky, charming etc it sort of shows I am already 100% keen. But in reality I have no idea who she actually is or what she could be like. So I tend to play it calm and either just say 'Hi' or something short. This will initially test to see whether she actually writes back. That then allows me to calibrate and continue her motivation in wanting to meet me. In turn I can start elaborating or demonstrating higher value. I also don't usually mess around. There are time wasters on online dating sites. As Bballking said the goal is to meet someone in reality and any girl who fusses around too much is probably not worth it, insecure or jaded. Your photo and profile does most of the work if you have prepared it strategically. Initial messages are about verifying you are genuine. At least try and get her immediately away from in house chat apps and onto a phone number or dedicated messenger apps if you can't hook up a date straight away.

    Its an online dating site. You want to meet girls who are looking to date, meet people, have a boyfriend, not mess around with pen pals.

  6. #6
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Is the message '____wants to meet you' an automated response or her actual message?

    I usually stay aloof if a girl is interested in me to keep her hungry. If I say something too funny, cocky, charming etc it sort of shows I am already 100% keen. But in reality I have no idea who she actually is or what she could be like. So I tend to play it calm and either just say 'Hi' or something short. This will initially test to see whether she actually writes back. That then allows me to calibrate and continue her motivation in wanting to meet me. In turn I can start elaborating or demonstrating higher value. I also don't usually mess around. There are time wasters on online dating sites. As Bballking said the goal is to meet someone in reality and any girl who fusses around too much is probably not worth it, insecure or jaded. Your photo and profile does most of the work if you have prepared it strategically. Initial messages are about verifying you are genuine. At least try and get her immediately away from in house chat apps and onto a phone number or dedicated messenger apps if you can't hook up a date straight away.

    Its an online dating site. You want to meet girls who are looking to date, meet people, have a boyfriend, not mess around with pen pals.
    She didn't actually send me a message. I just received the autoresponse that she wanted to meet me. All this means is that she used the want to meet you feature. She saw my profile, apparently liked it and clicked on the want to meet this person part. Not a lot of investing on her part but hey it's something.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    When you get the "**** wants to meet you" message, it means there's already a hint of interest on her part.
    She saw something that got her attention & is willing to find out more about you.

    Definitely don't go for the obvious rapport topics... you know, the ones that every other guy are gonna talk about. When a girl gets 50 messages a day about rap & classical music, you're not gonna stand out.

    You have to dig into your creative side & write something different.

    I'll admit that I would spend a week messaging a girl before meeting up, because I was chatting with a dozen more at the same time. But I would constantly flirt & build the Tension to the point of her practically begging me to meet her.



    I've also met girls within a couple days of chatting with her... but I personally had much more success by waiting a bit longer & taking that time to flirt & escalate the interaction.

    You just have to experiment a bit & discover what fits your personal style the best.

    Some guys can get in & meet up right away & things go great.
    Others (like me) do better by being more patient & using anticipation to build excitement.



    There's no real right or wrong way to go about it.

    But like whitedragon said: you're not looking for pen pals, so don't take TOO long & get stuck in that category.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    Ok. I sent a message back but I doubt I will hear back from her. I'm not worried. I'm still new at this. Anyway, I said something like this:

    "Hey there. I like your profile. You seem fun and adventurous. However, you might lose some points in the sophistication department when you said you don't like classical music. What am I going to do with you? Lol. "

  9. #9
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystik View Post
    Ok. I sent a message back but I doubt I will hear back from her. I'm not worried. I'm still new at this. Anyway, I said something like this:

    "Hey there. I like your profile. You seem fun and adventurous. However, you might lose some points in the sophistication department when you said you don't like classical music. What am I going to do with you? Lol. "
    Ugghh, so close! Shave out the bold part and you may have been golden. This is rapport seeking. It shows that you've already invested enough interest in her to truly care about what she likes and doesn't like. Your message still would have given her something to talk about without asking what you would do with her. Now instead of her being able to comment on the fun, adventurous, or classical music part, you've kind of forced her to talk about what you are going to have to do with her, whatever that may be. That would require a lot of interest on her part.

    Who knows, she may love your profile and be very interested. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Also, if your going to send a message with the idea that she isn't going to reply back, what's the point of sending it? Change that mentality brother.

  10. #10
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Woman wants to meet me on POF

    I figured I had nothing to lose by sending her a message. I'm just going by past experiences. Women on there rarely ever get back to me.

    Anyway, you are right. I probably did blow it with her. However, if I do hear back from her I'll let you know. You live and you learn.

    Recently some guy(who as far as I know is not part of the PUA community)told me that he though POF(and possibly other dating sites)is a jungle. What do you suppose he meant by that. He said he has made friends on it though. From what I can tell it's not really the place to meet female friends although I suppose that's better than nothing. However, I don't think most guys go on there looking for friends.


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