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Thread: Where do I go from here with girl from POF?

  1. #1
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Where do I go from here with girl from POF?

    Hey guys,

    So I talked to this girl from POF, turns out we had a few classes together, anyway, I tell her I'm horrible at responding to POF and ask if she can text (paraphrasing). Didn't get a reply. I figured whatever.

    3 weeks later she replies and is like "whoops, yeah text me, preferably tonight I somehow have nothing going on." So I text her, we meet up, go for a walk and just talk about school and life and whatnot, felt like we connected pretty well, shared some intimate stuff.

    Anyway, at the end she says she better go home, I walk her to her car and say "we should hang out tomorrow." (Again, paraphrasing, I have more game than that, haha). She says she's shopping with her mom but afterward she should be able to do something. Says something along the lines of "let's do something...fun. But I wanna take things slow." Sweet. I add her on Facebook and text her "Goodnight! " a few hours later she texts "nighty night! xoxo"

    Today rolls around (Saturday), and at around 3 PM or so I texted her:

    "Hey mamacita, you, me, and a mariachi band. Minus the mariachi band plus food. You free tonight?"

    Nothing. She's been on Facebook on her phone, so she obviously got the text (I sound so creepy, I swear this isn't as bad as it sounds, trying to be as brief as possible). Where do I go from here?

    Freeze her out? Try again in a few days? Simply wait until she texts me and otherwise drop her? I'm at a loss here. I have a few other girls I can go after but I thought we really connected. I guess I suck at reading relationships, haha.

    While the text I sent perhaps isn't 100% awesome, I don't think it shot me in the foot - it wasn't weird or creepy or whatever. I don't feel like I was too attached or anything either, besides maybe suggesting we hang out the next day. Did I go wrong or is she just a little weird?

  2. #2
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    Scratch that, she JUST texted me after I posted this:

    "Hey sorry I had a crazy day. I wanna hang out again ASAP though."

    I feel like I'm getting played. Like she had something awesome to do today that came up so she blew me off. Meh, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. What do you guys think?

  3. #3
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    Quote Originally Posted by Legend View Post
    Scratch that, she JUST texted me after I posted this:

    "Hey sorry I had a crazy day. I wanna hang out again ASAP though."

    I feel like I'm getting played. Like she had something awesome to do today that came up so she blew me off. Meh, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. What do you guys think?

    My advice is do your own thing (hobbies, going out with friends ,etc)
    If don't get a reply after 10 mins from sending her a text on any platform just go offline or chat other girls as staying online wont do you any favors. When your out with her qualify her if its done correctly she'll be more responsive with her texts.

    Remember Less is more, More is less.
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  4. #4
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    Lol don't be jumpy to conclusion so fast. And if she doesn't text back just wait a day and text her again.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    "Hey sorry I had a crazy day. I wanna hang out again ASAP though."

    I feel like I'm getting played. Like she had something awesome to do today that came up so she blew me off. Meh, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. What do you guys think?
    eh, she probably had a legit reason for blowing you off. don't take it personally. maybe she'll try and make it up to you next time you see her

    stay frosty bud.

  6. #6
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    This situation seems so tricky to me. Her message to you is "I have a lot of priorities in my life, and you aren't one of them. But you can be if you work really hard for it." The idea in her mind is that once you become one of her priorities, it'll totally be worth all the work.

    But if you work for it, it'll look like desperation or neediness. Working for it, putting forth an effort to spend time with her is the logical solution and it's the common AFC mistake. How do you maintain the frame of being interested in forming a relationship while simultaneously showing a disinterest in sacrificing your own priorities?

    In other words, how do you convey the message "I want to get to know you, but I need you to prove to me you're worth my time"?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    So here's an update guys:

    I messaged her about an hour later and simply said:

    "Ya let's hang out tomorrow, I'll call ya." No response back. Called her, didn't pick up, no response since. That was yesterday.

    Gonna freeze her for a few days and drop a playful feeler. A friend suggested dropping a text about doing an activity that nobody can resist, like riding a motorized couch (he has one, ha).

    Feelin a little bummed but it's w/e. I've got other people to hang out with.

    EDIT: If you guys have any advice from this point, I'd love to hear it.

  8. #8
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    If you guys have any advice from this point, I'd love to hear it
    recently I have been reading the book "conquer your campus"

    according to it, there is this interesting phenomenon that occurs on college campus,

    woman there primarily chase Social Status. aka popularity = sex

    perhaps she realized you didn't have much status on campus so she decided there were better options.

    social proof is the key to getting girls on campus.

  9. #9
    Legend is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    Another update:

    Didn't text her at all after she didn't respond. She texts me today at around 11 saying "Sorry. Don't hate me. I might be free tonight?"

    Me: Life's a b*tch sometimes, I get it. Hey remember that dog I told you about at my complex? Saw him again today, ha. Too damn cute for me to handle I think.

    Her: Awwwww, take a pic next time

    Me: Ha you've got a lot of ground to cover before we start swapping pics, miss flaky mcflakester.


    Had to share, too gold. Dunno how she's gonna respond but it allowed me to reach the point where idgaf anymore, which was what I needed.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here?

    Nice work!

    You also could have said, "How about you come over here & you can take some pics yourself? Then we'll get ice cream & see who gets brain freeze first! "

    But you did a good job of mixing a little cocky in with the fun. Just don't go overboard with cocky... ESPECIALLY over text.

    But overall, that was pretty solid.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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