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Thread: Time for another POF profile critique

  1. #1
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Time for another POF profile critique

    Hey guys. I did this once before but I have changed my profile since then. I'm sure parts of this will get torn apart by you guys but that's ok. I am going to keep part of it no matter what but even I will admit that some of it probably has to go.

    First my pictures. I have about six pictures up on POF. My main one has me sitting down on a rock in the woods(I like the outdoors). One has me singing with a brunette. One has me next to a cute woman wearing a hat in the woods in the winter. One has me next to an attractive blonde in a red shirt. One has me with the moon behind me(taken at a park in the night). One has me wearing a grey shirt that was taken in a restaurant. That's about it for the pics.

    My headline says: "grab me soon. Only one left in stock!"

    (This I like and unless someone can come up with something even more clever I plan on keeping it at least for now).


    Body:

    I've always had a love hate relationship with vegetables. When I was about six years old I wrestled a turnip. Big deal you say. Well it was a giant turnip. Then along came a cauliflower. Then broccoli. Then a few years later a giant tomato came after me. However, I was prepared this time with a kitchen knife in one hand and a fork in the other. I've eaten my veggies ever since. These days they don't give me a hard time. Fruit on the other hand is another story. I sometimes have issues with strawberries, peaches, pineapple etc.

    Sorry ladies you won't get this from me:
    Uh, I like long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners. On our first date I'll take you out to dinner. We'll go to a nice fancy restaurant. You can order whatever you want. I'll treat. I'll even buy your movie ticket and your popcorn and a house for you and everything else you want. If I can't afford it I'll steal the money. I'll open all the doors for you all the time, treat you like you are somehow better than me and over all just kiss your ass 24/7. I'll never challenge you or argue with you and I'll agree with everything you say because I'm a good little boy that you can just lead around on a leash. You'll like me I promise. LOL.

    So if you are looking for the above guy, a guy who is going to call or text you 2-3 times a day, do exactly what you want and be wrapped around your little finger you probably should keep on looking because you won't find that person here.
    No, I don't have "issues." I just want to be with a woman who wants to be treated as an equal and is going to treat me as an equal and with respect. It's all a two way street. You get what you give and vice versa.

    First date: Something where we can get to know each other a bit better like nude sunbathing or skinny dipping. Meeting for a cup of coffee or tea or whatever is usually a safe bet too. I am flexible even though I suck at yoga.

    (POF has strict rules about not having anything sexual whatsoever in your profile so I'm thinking about taking out the part about nude sunbathing or skinny dipping. )

    Interests: music, outdoors, fun, excitement, adventure

    They just added a new field called level of ambition. I put down "not ambitious." Isn't part of the whole point to make it seem like I'm not trying so hard?

  2. #2
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    I'm not sure about the headline.. to me it kinda sounds like you're ready to take the first girl that talks to you. I don't know lol maybe it could just be worded better?

    You kind of beat the whole "I'm not going to be your bitch" thing to death a bit. Maybe drop the last two lines for something like:

    "That was the last 10 guys that just messaged you saying "hey sexy"! I, however, prefer to think of relationships as a two way street and not some petty fight for power and status."
    Something that says the same thing only with less of a qualifying feel to it.

    It took me a while to get my profile right too but in the end I dropped it all and now my 'about me' is similar to your first paragraph just 3 or 4 times over! There's not one thing in there about what I like to do in my spare time, what I do for work or how much I love the gym. It's literally just a page of utter nonsense. It's funny, but it's nonsense none the less. The only serious part I have is at the end something about "You should message me if you can contribute more to a conversation than lol.." I can't get on POF while I'm at work to check but there was something else in there, I think "know the difference between there, their and they're" or something and then I used the old gaming opener: "and can support me while I sit around in my underwear playing video games all day". So even the serious bit isn't really that serious.

    The idea, as always, is to stand out from all the other chumps on there. POF allows you to browse anonymously so go and search as a girl looking for guys and do some reconnaissance you'll see what just about 99.9% of the profiles have on them lol

    And I wouldn't worry about the nude part, there's really nothing sexual about it. The yoga bit is funny but it kind of contradicts what you said earlier about not being someone's bitch.

    .. oh and I think the ambitious bit is a work/life related thing. I set mine to very ambitious because I didn't want it to look like I had no goals in life

    Hope that helps mate.

  3. #3
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    How does me saying I suck at yoga contradict what I said about being someone's bitch? You lost me there. LOL.

    Some woman did message me so I guess it does work the way it is. Still I may tweak it a bit. Thanks for the tips. I'll report back.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    I would focus on fundamental virtues and develop your profile in a more systematic way that tells a narrative about you.

    You're kinda trying to force it that you are good with ladies and that to me is risky. Saying things like 'what you won't get...' is risky unless you want to push a high percentage of women away because what you describe as not being able to offer includes many positive virtues of being a man. You're trying to force the issue of 'let's be equal' when men and women are of course very different. Its not a competition or possession - its about appreciating and complimenting another person. From my perspective that paragraph shows a complete lack of perspective on women and how they communicate. Coupled with a denial of having 'issues' actually just suggests you really do have 'issues'. There's so much risk in saying all that and it doesn't actually demonstrate much about yourself that is intelligent, fun or successful. Edit out anything from your profile that is not needed, negative or ambiguous.

    You say a lot of things but don't actually reveal why you are attractive, creative, smart or desirable. Saying you suck at something or are not ambitious just reinforces you suck or are not ambitious. You must demonstrate you are amazing and ambitious and then you don't need an intro line 'Only one left in stock' because you will have already proven how unique you are. Writing 'Turnips' as a header would probably be more effective and curious. You are going to find love no matter what. Use a vocabulary of success. An example of demonstrating virtues could be rather than saying 'I like the outdoors and wilderness' instead say something specific like 'I like hiking in the mountains, the strength and challenge (strong, handles challenges, survival) of carving up a mountain slope, veins and heart pumping (fit, healthy, sexual inuendo?) then reaching the top where I can see for miles (successful) like an ancient explorer discovering new worlds for the first time, just me and the clouds...and no turnips for miles (philosphical, intelligence, spiritual, elation, humour)'.

    If you are smart, write something smart. If you have a great body you do not need to describe it but your photo will reveal it. Say you have a healthy diet and then go on to say something funny about vegetables or fruit more succintly 'except turnips because I once wrestled a giant turnip' rather than 'love/hate relationship''hate' or anything negative at all. If you are sensual or passionate demonstrate it by showing your virtues or writing something that is genuinely fascinating. Something that encourages a connection to be formed. Saying you won't pay or open doors is just being lazy, stubborn, uncaring and uncompassionate about women. Most people on dating sites go into way too much detail and forget about the bigger picture. Trying to describe what you don't want reveals weakness. Describe something fabulous you want effortlessly and confidently. If you describe yourself as 'Im a smart, cute, fun loving guy who is creative and passionate about life...except turnips' you are completely showing 100% confidence with a twist of humble humour at the end. Most guys don't write so directly and hide behind false tactics.

    3 photos is fine. A head shot, body shot and activity shot. I dislike women posting pics with men, or worse with a better looking girlfriend and some girls might ignore you because you are showing pics with other girls. It's a different dynamic to being out at a bar with nice girls by your side. I personally would not put a pic up with a girl because it's a crutch and smart girls will see straight through it. You must blitz the field based on raw talent and your super confident naked virtues. They will know by your confidence and looks that you probably have experience with girls as a matter of course. You must demonstrate your success with girls not in photos but in how you communicate with and understand women.

    I agree with KVN - absolutely put ambitious down. It's a positive virtue and a desirable trait that every girl wants. Women are looking at these profiles fast and may not even read them fully. They will primarily be attracted to the photo and a few key virtues, uniqueness or humouress hooks. The rest is Fluff. Women are the same, they write all sorts of stuff down as if they are the most important person in the world and only end up sounding just like every other girl.

    I know I'm being critical but it's to try and help. I would make a clear system in your profile that flows from one subject to next. Perhaps write down 3 or 4 key virtues like 'funny, smart, handsome, successful' and elaborate off each of them in a confident but humble short paragraph or sentance to tell a story. Be truly creative. You could even use the vegetables/fruit thing: 'Oranges - My mind is like an orange, tangy with vitamin intellect and tasteful fresh conversation, Strawberries - my passion for life, adventure and love is a strawberry, a pumping heart melting into ice cream and smoothies, Turnips - my resolve is like a turnip, waste my time and I will leave you be in the ground! 'etc. Organise your thoughts clearly in a strong vision rather than a scattering of ambiguity. First date - great conversation, great fun. If you make it humouress 'skinny dipping' say only that and be 100% confident in your sarcasm, rather than also including the default 'coffee is also ok'. Good luck!

  5. #5
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    Haha sorry mate, I should have been more precise but now that I've re-read it, it actually doesn't look as bad second time around (talk about contradicting lol ).
    I think because you're obviously over exaggerating the date it's not as bad.
    But I was getting at how you spent a fair bit of your profile saying that you're not going to do what she wants or be wrapped around her finger, but then as soon as the first decision came up i.e. the first date, all of a sudden you've become flexible and happy to do what she would prefer. Again, the first option was exaggerated so I think I just over thought it.

    There's still something about the last two lines I don't like though. The "No, I don't have issues" part.. it just sounds a little bitter and defensive.

  6. #6
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    Ok, I'll consider taking out the "No, I don't have issues" part but I'll need to replace it with something. How about if I replace it with something like "this is me" or "this is how it is with me" or something to that effect?

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystik View Post
    Ok, I'll consider taking out the "No, I don't have issues" part but I'll need to replace it with something. How about if I replace it with something like "this is me" or "this is how it is with me" or something to that effect?
    Just be confident with who you are and advertise it in an unpretentious, dynamic, creative, intelligent and funny way.

  8. #8
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    Whitedragon has a really good post. I agree with a lot of it. I especially want to emphasize not having a bunch of pics of you with women. As he said, this isn't the bar, where having girls around you will draw others' attention. On a dating site, if a girl sees you having 4 different pics with 4 different girls, it makes you look like a player. And respectable women will not go for that. How would you react if you saw a girl who had multiple pics with a different football player in each one? You'd probably think of her as a slut. Additionally, you'd probably wonder why she's on a dating site despite having all these attractive guys around her.

    I would have ONE picture with a girl, one or two with guys, and two with just you.

    I also agree with him that your word to content ratio is lacking. 95% of your profile does not tell me anything about you. Try to cut down the monologues about relationship expectancy by a few sentences and replace them with expansions on the interests you list at the very end. For instance, you like music. Cool, what kind of music and what bands? You like fun and excitement? What specifically do you find entertaining and exciting? Expansions on that will go a long way.

  9. #9
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystik View Post

    My headline says: "grab me soon. Only one left in stock!"

    So if you are looking for the above guy, a guy who is going to call or text you 2-3 times a day, do exactly what you want and be wrapped around your little finger you probably should keep on looking because you won't find that person here.
    No, I don't have "issues." I just want to be with a woman who wants to be treated as an equal and is going to treat me as an equal and with respect. It's all a two way street. You get what you give and vice versa.
    Title: (Take out the grab me soon) Only one left in stock! (Not a bad title either bro)

    Whether POF has strict rules on the nude bathing and skinny dipping part, take it out. Your objective here is to prove to her that your not a guy who needs her to feel any sort of validation, you're just looking for some fun. So if you don't know this girl, and don't feel comfortable around her yet (though you feel comfortable around anyone, you're a PUA ) than why would you want to see her naked?

    That being said, your profile isn't terrible. Mentally your on the right track here, your just not presenting in the right way. Your idea should be that your not going to be her little whipping boy, you are going to challenge her, and your not going to put her opinion above yours.

    You have a lot here, so I'm just going to give my opinion on the quoted above. As I just stated you have the right idea in your mind, you don't want girls to think you can easily be wrapped around their finger, but you should never have to say that. In fact, a fair amount of the time when someone says they don't 'feel' something, it's because they do and they want to convince you otherwise. Basic example: you're at a movie with friends, scary scene comes in, your buddy jumps, you tell him he got scared, he says "I wasn't scared."

    BS Dude! They only way to prove you weren't scared would have been to not jump in the first place. Then you guys go home, roommate asks how the movie was, your friend says "it was alright, but I didn't think that one scene was very scary." Red Flag! Now your roommate is thinking, 'why did he say that? Is he trying to convince me he wasn't scared?'

    You may not actually be someone who gets wrapped around a girls finger, but then there is really no reason to say it. You have to place yourself in the position of not caring, then present it that way, or own the sh1t out of it. "Did you get scared at that one scene?" "No way man, didn't flinch a bit. Gotta go change my boxers though cause I pissed clean through em."
    You don't need her

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Time for another POF profile critique

    Don't over-do the pics with girls... and always post a captions saying something like "Me & my friend ***** being goofy".

    I've flat out asked girls what turns them off about guys profiles when I'd be talking to them.

    The biggest things are:
    Shirtless pics; posing with fish or other dead animals; posing with a car; having all selfies; having too many pictures with random girls; and the general bad written section that tells too much, or sounds just like every other guy's profile.

    So, limit the pics with you and girls... unless it's your sister or good friend & you give a quick explanation so they don't think you're "trying to be a player".... (which is how many of them described those kinds of pics)


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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