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  • 1 Post By TheDuke
  • 1 Post By Will E.

Thread: tinder convo

  1. #1
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default tinder convo

    Here's a conversation I've been having with an HB9.something on tinder. I'm made some mistakes but I'm not very interested in meeting anyone anyways. Just wanted to get some feedback. Her profile originally said something about a turkish fortune teller told her she'd have 3 kids, and that her mom told her to get on tinder. which she changed to just say her mom told her to get on tinder.

    Me(fri 8:05pm): A puppy, the american flag, and a cute girl in a bikini....Did you major in marketing?

    her(fri 8:40pm): Hahaha no but i did get an A in the class!
    her(fri 8:40pm): Oh and my teacher said I had potential

    me(fri 11:45pm): I can see why he said that...you're a natural :-)
    me(fri 11:46pm): Do you usually do what your mom tells you to?

    her(sat 3:39am): Haha...sometimes

    me(sat 6:57pm): I thought so. You don't look like the "good girl" type. But here you are on tinder doing what you mom told you to...Like a good girl :-D

    her(Sun 5:47pm): Haha hey what does that mean!!!

    me(sun 10:45pm): Lol! I'm not totally sure. There's a mischievous look in your eyes in all of your pictures.
    me(sun 10:48pm): Lead me to believe you were more of a daddy's girl and that you have a lot of guy friends

    her(sun 10:51pm): Hahah what does that even mean
    her(sun 10:52pm): I feel like you just found a discreet way to say I look like a slut

    me(sun 10:58pm): Believe me, I'm rarely discreet haha. Just really bad at texting.

    her(sun 11:02pm): Haha it's cool

    me(sun 11:03pm): It probably doesn't help that I'm putting zero effort into this tinder business. Thanks for being cool about it :-)

    her(sun 11:04pm): It'd be weird if you werw

    me(sun 11:05pm): What's that supposed to mean?
    me(sun 11:06pm): No I'm just messing with you :-)
    me(sun 11:07pm): Why didn't you major in marketing? you did so well

    her(sun 11:11pm): Haha just that there's guys on here that are seriously trying to find wives
    her(Sun 11:11pm): I know I shoulda!

    me(sun 11:13pm): Wait...We're not getting married?

    her(sun 11:27pm): only if you're down with 3 kirs
    her(sun 11:27pm): kidsssss

    me(sun 11:33pm): Oh that's what you changed with your profile!
    me(sun 11:34pm): I'm OK with you having 3 kids if you're ok with me having 5 :-D

    her(sun 11:38pm): Oh jeez idk about all that

    me(sun 11:40pm): You don't have to worry about the other two, they won't be yours :-P
    me(Sun 11:40pm): Want to know something funny? I'm the youngest of 6

    her(Sun 11:41pm): Haha I just love where this is going already
    her(sun 11:41pm): And seriously?

    me(sun 11:42pm): Technically 1 of 8, counting half siblings and step siblings

    her(sun 11:42pm): Crazy

    me(sun 11:44pm): A 3 kid family doesn't phase me at all. How'd you end up getting that kind of fortune telling?

    her(mon 5:36am): IDK I guess that's how I drink my coffee

    me(mon 9:04am): That thoroughly confused me. Please explain, tell it like a bedtime story :-)

    her(mon 9:07am): Well once upon a time, a long long time ago, about a month and a half ago, I returned to my favorite place of all, turkey

    me(mon 9:53am): That's a great start :-) I'm totally invested! What happens next? Is there a villain in this story?

    And that's the end...haven't heard back. According to tinder and my creepy stalker tendencies she's about 450 miles away now, so maybe she's on a trip and busy. Frankly I don't really care, but I am curious to know what I can learn from this.

    I thought my opener was brilliant, but my follow up was weak. I recovered pretty well, and then lost it again by backing down. I was hoping that getting her to tell me a story would hook her again, but that obviously fizzled. There's also a sneaking suspicion that tinder cut her story off. Any advice on what to say next? I was thinking of something like: "Did Tinder cut your story short, or did something sparkly distract you?"

    Much appreciation!

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    It depends what your purpose is. If it's just to chat, I can't give you feedback. If the purpose was to build attraction, you qualified too much. If the purpose was to get her on a date, you need to move things down a conversational path about her availability.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  3. #3
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    The purpose is to improve my text game in practice, I don't want to meet. I guess that means I want to build attraction and rapport....when did I start to qualify too much? Was the opener as brilliant as I think it was? when things built up on sunday night, was that a good indication or meaningless?

    One of the things I've noticed in other posts asking for this kind of advice is a request for the full conversation, and I put in a lot of effort to transcribe the whole thing here verbatim (including typos and grammatical errors).

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    By meeting you will be able to analyse how your built attraction and rapport more easily in addition to other benefits.

    She was investing in the convo - you could probably sexually escalate a little too.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    This is awful...but the good news is that it's exactly where we all start.

    You basically built ZERO attraction in that conversation. Basically, you started in the comfort stage and stayed in the comfort stage the whole time. From the moment you started the conversation, you were headed straight for the friendzone.

    How do you right this ship? Well, in order to create attraction, you have to create Tension. This is accomplished through several different methods, but the tried and true method is Push Pull. If you're not teasing the girl or disqualifying her in some way at the beginning, you're not doing it right. Example:

    Me(fri 8:05pm): A puppy, the american flag, and a cute girl in a bikini....Did you major in marketing?

    her(fri 8:40pm): Hahaha no but i did get an A in the class!
    her(fri 8:40pm): Oh and my teacher said I had potential

    me(fri 11:45pm): I can see why he said that, I definitely want to go out and get a puppy now. I assume that's what you were going for?

    Here, instead of telling her she's so wonderful right away, I said, "You're cool, but not that cool." It's a push pull statement and it's created some tension.

    Take a look at my post on tension () and also search for some posts on push pull.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  6. #6
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    thanks duke, I'll try that and post my next results

  7. #7
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    The next one I guess I went the wrong way...too much push, but it ended with her unmatching me, so I lost the convo. she was an HB7 so even less incentive. I'll try to paraphrase it as best as I can, it was all today

    me: blue or red?

    her: blue
    her: you?

    me: blue as well. but you're not allowed to ask the same question. So it's still your turn to ask.

    her: lol, ok daffy. what's your worst fear?

    me: being caught between a swarm of spiders and a cliff.
    me: great conversation or great sex?

    her: both?
    her: I need great conversation before I can have great sex...maybe that's just me though

    me: It all depends. maybe you haven't had either you still need to ask a question

    her: I've had plenty of both. thanks for your "concern"
    her: favorite jello flavor?

    me: lol I don't think i deserve the sarcastic quotation mark. I would be for reals sad if you haven't had either...I would cry a little
    me: blue raspberry for sure
    me: if you had to sacrifice one, which: vision or taste

    her: Ass...FYI I'm down with blue raspberry. I would obviously give up taste so I can get in better shape

    me: Behave and play nice or I'm telling on you :P
    me: are you cute when you're angry?

    and then she unmatched me. It was great for the laugh though lol.

  8. #8
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    Like you said, too much push, not enough pull.

    Also, you were really flirting with the line between teasing and insulting someone. If a girl starts calling you an ass and acting sarcastic, you've likely gone to far and you need to pull in the reins a bit.

    This is the common over shoot problem that we see. You're too nice, then you try to correct and you go too far. Just keep working on it.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  9. #9
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    I'm familiar with calibrating machines and measuring equipment, but not with calibrating people. I'll keep working on it and posting results. Thanks Duke

  10. #10
    Will E. is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: tinder convo

    Good job on keeping her engaged for a bit on Tinder. Like others have said, qualify yourself less and do less teases. Have a balance and try to get her number asap and move off of Tinder


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