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  • 3 Post By whitedragon

Thread: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

  1. #1
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    Hello, I'm new here but I already read the book The Game a while ago but didn't got serious since I'm not that ready. I think I need it now because I'm on the verge of a falling LDR.

    Let me tell you about my story.

    My girl is lively, sweet, caring, always in the mood for fark when were together. We are already in our 2nd year.

    That only last for a year before my family moved here in canada. Were 15 hours plane away from each other. When I was still with her back in my hometown, I'm still in control and pretty much everything, I initiate sext, I plan our dates. She's always the one calling me. As time goes by, the problems started to came in. We talk about our day and she wants me to be always talking to her for emotional support.

    The problem is, as a man, sext become less and less interesting for her, until to the point that I can't talk about it with her during daytime there, and only night, she got really not into it, and I always initiate, anddd it only last a few minutes before she start to head back to emotional talk. We got to hang out when I gone to visit her 11 months being in ldr. She's still the same, except she now beats me in bed, she got more moves, got more hungry, to the point that I can't keep up. (Note I didn't have sex for 10 months).

    Now, she's out of control, and we only chat on facebook. I call her sometimes. She's very emotional now and always talking about me not giving any effort, but I do since I call her, give her time, etc. She is trying to gain control of our relationship, and I become aware of her shit test. We broke up but I manage to get her back. She's not the type to cheat, considering she's close with my mother, but what do I know I'm no expert. After remembering the game book, I immediately become aware and I manage to regain control. Note, I don't have full control now and I don't know what to do.

    Pardon for the long post, but I really want to elaborate it. What should I do? Do you think she has a Alpha source their and just keeping me for emotional support?

    Also I want to start acquiring information on how to keep this ldr if possible, or if I need to end it. I think she still loves me, but Idk. Thanks for reading this looong post.

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    You can't really keep a LDR unless you're in a very committed relationship and the separation is temporary. She is holding you back. Start dating other girls. She will likely get annoyed but you are not each others possession. It will also help her move on. You're young so push jealous and sentimental emotions aside and enjoy your youth.

    As an after note I have several friends that got burned over LDR. The same thing happened to all of them. They were all held by her emotional strings, could not date other girls easily and in the end it was the girl who ironically ended up finding a new guy.

    15 hours by plane is controlling both of you. Break it off and enjoy the happy memories. It's a brave option but that's what men do.

  3. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    Unfortunately LDR's are doomed to fail .....you can work very hard at trying to keep it alive and the flame hot, but in the end you text less and less , you FaceTime less and less and eventually you only talk once in awhile. The hardest thing is coming to the realization that you have to let it go. But as a wise man once said "don't cry because it's over, smile for what you once shared together" ..... I've been there and I know it's hard so Good Luck

  4. #4
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    Thanks for the replies. Yeah, truth hurts. I've been in some situations where I should've gotten a chick but I'm committed so I keep rejecting them.

    We are now falling apart and she's just not that, she's not the same anymore, and maybe me to her too. Oneitis can really be a problem sometimes. The shit tests is getting more and more intense, so I'll have many opening for break up.

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    What's interesting is if you have ever watched the show CATFISH on MTV, there are people who have developed intense relationships based solely on texting sometimes over the course of several years ...... what I can't figure out is why those LDR's work ???

  6. #6
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    Perhaps texting keeps your expectation to ideal man/woman and when you think your text mate is "the one", you wouldn't cheat or find another guy, and keeps the flame burning in the imagination. That's just my theory though.

    Nope, doesn't watch television. Once had a glimpse of iCarly while my Lil sister is watching and I lost faith in the media.

  7. #7
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    I don't advise LDRs at all given their high failure rate. Even if we understand the reasons for the long distance we still have human needs such as physical contact. Being there means much in terms of companionship.

  8. #8
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    I just can't, it's painful you know brahs. I know you guys know what I mean if you all really did experience my pains. Anyway I don't plan on dating another girl for a while if we do break up since I'm really focused on building wealth, but maybe I will? It excites me on finding a new girl that will provide me with my needs but at the same time, its painful because of the memories we shared together. How do you cure this acute sickness? Throw those picture books that she made for me? the necklace, messages, the futures. Is it all an illusion? created in a spur of a moment? Truth is hard to accept, but once you do, you'll get the most understanding of reality.

  9. #9
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    Like with all things that hurt the only thing that will help is the passing of time ... or in this sort of situation meet someone new but I understand how you might not be up for that and you need some alone time ..... but whatever happens, don't be stupid and throw all those things from her away .... they'll mean something to you in the future

  10. #10
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Help with deteriorating LDR

    I will do that, I'll be brave and break our relationship for our own sake. Anyway I'll need your support guys for my transition from the dreaded oneitis to billionaire, philanthropist and PUA.


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