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Thread: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

  1. #1
    Exzu is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    Anyone got experience from bipolar gfs that has made it work in the long run?

    1 year in, and shits started to get twisted. When her hypo kicks in, she gets obesessive thoughts, that she "must" talk to everyone that texts her. So far, this one guy is constantly trying to score, but her hypo has all this time not gone that far enough for her todo anything, but it's getting worse day by day. Once hypo ends, she gets back to normal, regretting the stuff she's done, want it to work between us etc. Then a new hypo in 3-4days

    Thinking of breakup, but do not want to live with regrets that I did not do everything I could to make it work.

    To rule out random shit, who am I?
    24, been in the PUA scene for 7years, never had issues of walking away, or making relationships work. This is the real first challenge. Laycount of ~80. I do not believe in hypnosis/indirect. Natural/Direct is the way I roll. 6days / week workout, muscle? well, obv.

    Shitloads of girls wants to be with me, so not really unattractive or giving of beta vibes etc.

    Enough of that now. How am I do handle the hypo? When she goes maniamode and believes she's immortal she wants todo anything to statifiy her needs. Mania lasts for about 2~8hours roughly (Shes Ultra rapid cycler, bipolar 2)

    Her meds are being changed, so eventually this will end in 3~4months. But how am I to make it work, until that point?

    During her hypo, texting with guys back and forth, and shitloads of visits to the psych clinic. Unresponsive or Responsive have not worked. Compliance and Defiance is a no go. Doing shit with her is a no go. No matter what I've tried so far, she just keeps trying to push me back.

    Even thought of doing beta stuff to make it work, prevent her from using her phone etc, being with her 24/7 to keep control over her. But you all know that's not really a solution and may damage the future relationship once she goes back to normal.

    Tips/Solutions are very much appreciated.
    / Exzu.

  2. #2
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    I never dealt with this but if I was in your position I would start talking to other girls that would like to be with you. Don't do anything with them just spend time with them if that means just chilling don't hide the fact it may just be you and another girl.

    If she gets mad at you for it you can say you're texting other guys she may or not accept this as a valid reason.

    Don't turn beta even if it sounds like its the best thing to do you'll only regret it later as you lower your value and also shoot yourself in the foot.
    Last edited by kylemc; 07-20-2014 at 09:14 PM. Reason: typo
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  3. #3
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    I ran away from one. She went through some awful depressive states, to euphoria and to being invincible. These would happen in a day or span of hours. She picked the other guy because I went beta. I say good luck to that guy because I already have a brother with down syndrome and I don't have the time or energy to babysit 2 people.

  4. #4
    TieDrying is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    Quote Originally Posted by kylemc View Post
    I never dealt with this but if I was in your position I would start talking to other girls that would like to be with you. Don't do anything with them just spend time with them if that means just chilling don't hide the fact it may just be you and another girl.

    If she gets mad at you for it you can say you're texting other guys she may or not accept this as a valid reason.

    Don't turn beta even if it sounds like its the best thing to do you'll only regret it later as you lower your value and also shoot yourself in the foot.
    I agree with this to a certain point. I would not go as far as to hang out, but if the texting is bothering you and you haven't made this one of your boundaries early on, then I would take her texting other men as permission for you to text other women. I don't have much experience with bipolar people, but if she's not saying to these guys "I have a bf" or even telling them to stop flirting with her, then that's the degree in which you can text these women. I would even go so far to tell her that she's giving permission by doing this... perhaps when she's normal and not manic

    That's just my perspective of the situation. I hope you can get passed this one, I mean you must be sticking with her for a reason.

  5. #5
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    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    As you know, there's plenty of chicks out there, I'd leave if there's a huge mess with this chick.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  6. #6
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    I get that she has bi pol but then she might just feel like texting other guys.since that seems likely just start seeing other girls.in a nutshell be social more.

  7. #7
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    I'm wondering why you're sticking around at all. SHE HAS A MENTAL DISORDER. There is not much chance to use psychological techniques such as PU in this case cuz she is not right in the first place. Her logic will never be normal. Her logic will almost never make sense to you.

    If you really love her... Well that's a different matter. If you feel the meds will help than just stick around and see. When you love someone, you have to be willing to stick through the rough spots. But having someone in your life with a mental problem means difficulties plain and simple. Up to you if it's worth it.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
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  8. #8
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    Medication? Does she know you have issues in regards to her condition? If yes to both and you're struggling then consider ending it.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    bipolar is a fake mental disorder- you kinda learn that in NLP

    i was with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and she was told she had the worst bi-polar you can get- the strongest shit wouldnt help

    what helped was learning "the secret" and learning to be more positive of a person and look on the bright side of EVERYTHING

    and remember you cannot change her, she has to be the one that wants to make a change in her life and she has to realize that bi-polar is BS just like ADD and ADHD

    my ex stopped being bi-polar and off all meds within 4 months of me dating her- she wanted to make a change, she wanted off the bi-polar meds and she was the one that wanted to live a more positive life, i just introduced her to "the secret" which is a book and a movie
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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Living with bipolar GF, how to handle the hypomania?

    I'm usually the first to call bs on mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, and bipolar. But the fact is that none of us went to medical school for 10+ years (maybe there is one here) and I've learned that many of these are actually physical. Such as that of people who suffer from depression. They're brains cannot produce enough, or at all, endorphins which are the "happy" chemicals. It's physical. Not a mental trick they play on themselves. I've come to accept this about mental disorders and feel anyone that discounts it as not real is short sighted and has never truly dealt with it.

    However, I do understand that someone can easily feed into their condition and the line between what their condition causes and how they contribute to it can be heavily blurred. People who suffer from anxiety subconsciously learn how to use it to manipulate people in their lives. Always threatening a panic attack if they don't do as they say. It's can be really tough to tell, but not impossible. You can research it to find out signs that they may be abusing their condition.

    They're right when they say that it's not gonna get any easier. As PUAs we've grown accustomed to controlling many aspects of our dating, and love, lives. So much so that it becomes a kind of drug. And we get a little nuts when we try to control things and it doesn't seem to work. Really ask yourself if the reason you stay with her is cause you have to feel like you conquered her. Tamed her. So you don't feel like a beta if you did leave her cause she was too wild for you to control. Which can make you feel weak by not being able to "control" your woman. If the answer is yes then you have to let that go.

    If you truly love and care for her then hang in there and see if the meds will help. Relationships are like cars. You don't get one without expecting constant routine maintenence.

    I can tell you right now that these relationships are tremendously stressful and draining in the long run. And you shouldn't blame yourself if you choose to leave. It's your life and no one is gonna live it for you. So make the choice that's best for you.

    My current gf actually does have issues with anxiety. And I was very skeptical at first. Always thought she'd use it to control me. But we've had many troubles and challenges and she rarely has a panic attack from it. In the past year I can count the amount on one hand. She medicates regularly and functions just fine without weird side affects like texting guys or something. She functions normally . so it's possible for your girl as well I'm sure.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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