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  1. #1
    Avalon90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Please critique my POF profile

    Evening all, pretty new to online game in general but thought I'd give it a crack. Done plenty of lurking and read through Vecen's guide and a few others scattered around the web and threw together this...

    (Okay, won't let me post the link, fair enough... username: Elysium69 or profile ID is viewprofile.aspx?pro file_id=80115719

    Any thoughts, ways I can improve it?
    Also any particular flashes of inspiration on openers, I have read so many contradiCtory things on them I'm a little unsure where a good place to start is?

  2. #2
    Avalon90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please critique my POF profile

    About me section:


    I lost a needle in a hay stack once and found it. I am not afraid to eat pasta with ice cream. I am a black belt in cuddling. Animals love me but fish hate me. I invented the spork. I cook exquisite 5 course meals with only a wooden spoon, a toaster, and vanilla essence. I shower twice a day, with women's shower gel. Johnny Depp stole my hat for the filming of Pirates of the Caribbean. I make entire train carriages sing 'Always look on the bright side of life' in perfect harmony. I read the Iliad, War and Peace and Harry Potter, all in one day and still had time to fell a tree for firewood later that evening. I can believe it's not butter. I pick the wonkiest christmas trees because they make me giggle.

    98% of my friends haven't accidentally ended up on fire. Everyday is my lucky day. White chocolate is my favourite food group. My hair doesn't smell of apples, apples smell of my hair. I talk to random strangers, and have crazy adventures involving cake and a jet ski. I can make chocolate brownies gooier with my mind. I secretly want to drill holes in my living room floor and turn it into the world's biggest air hockey table. My strengths outweigh my weaknesses. I know why the chicken crossed the road. Tortoise's find me curiously alluring.

    More than just a pretty face?
    Not afraid to go on random adventures and be spontaneous and open-minded?
    Not a tortoise?

    Then you should message me. Hey, you've already decided to message me. Lucky you. I would message me too, if I wasn't already me. Oh, and you can manage something a bit more creative than 'Hi there'. (Seriously, who replies to that?!)


    First date: (left blank)

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Please critique my POF profile

    Honestly, it's kinda funny, but it doesn't give them any real info about you.

    You don't want to tell your life story, but you DO want to convey some REAL tibits about yourself, in a creative way.

    This Just sounds like you used a bunch of "one-liners" that you heard. (Or like a re-hashed version of some other "comical" profile")

    It might make a few girls chuckle, but it's probably not gonna make them really curious about you.

    Girls wanna know real stuff about you... but not everything all at once.
    They long for the discovery of more & more things during the adventure of "getting to know one another".


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Please critique my POF profile

    T-Mal's right, this doesn't give any real opening into the facts about you, but it's an incredible insight into your personality, and for that, I wouldn't change a damn thing.

    I read and looked at your profile and without having conversed a single word with you, I like you already. You may not playing the field in large fashion with this profile, but your going to find some super cool chick who is going to click with insanely. If that's what your looking for, keep that mother trucking profile the exact way it is.
    You don't need her

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Please critique my POF profile

    I really like the creativity but I would focus it or edit it down to just a couple of those funny phrases and then balance with some more serious sides of yourself - you're not applying for Steve Wrights position at the comedy club. At the moment it's like you have a song with 20 guitar solos in it. You just need one or two really dramatic solos and then balance with verses and a chorus that reveal another side to who you are.

    I would personally avoid saying 'Oh, and you can manage something a bit more creative than 'Hi there'. (Seriously, who replies to that?!)'. If a hot girl writes to me 'Hi there' absolutely I'm going to reply!!!


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