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  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Need some advice - experimenting with this girl

    Hey guys,

    There's this girl I met around May and whom I have been talking to occasionally. I kinda liked her, so I made a move on her. She came back to me with a lame message stating that she had started dating someone and she preferred to be honest with me. I lost interest at that point and moved on.

    Fast forward to July, she contacts me out of the blue after 1 month of no communication, asking me how I was and if I wanted to meet for lunch (or for drinks if I couldn't make it). Seemed like she got dumped by that other guy and that I was her plan B.

    Anyway, I decided to play along just for kicks. I couldn't meet her immediately but we eventually met for drinks. She insisted that I attend her bday party in October.

    We both left on holidays in August. I decided not to go totally cold on her, so I texted her 1 message to ask about her vacation and also talk about mine. She seemed to appreciate it.

    Once I came back, I decided to stay silent and see if she would write first. Well, she just did

    "Hey xx, how are you? Back to reality after 1 month of holidays? I bet you have a schedule full of catching up lunches... anyway, I certainly do! But we can try the Japanese place soon (and not on a Wednesday). Maybe next week or the week after? For now, welcome back!! X"

    Some observations:
    1) We work in the same organisation (different buildings though), so everyone has access each other's outlook calendar. Did she peek into mine to see if I was busy during lunchtimes this week? Seems weird that she mentioned that... Unless she was speaking generally...
    2) I find it funny how she tried to qualify herself by saying she is also busy during lunchtime
    3) She mentions the Japanese place because she committed to take me there and invite me for lunch. Good thing she hasn't forgotten


    To be honest, I don't care about this girl as a potential girlfriend, but I would bang her if I could. Even if I don't, she's good practice material.
    I am really tempted to try different strategies with her but I don't where to begin:

    For example, I could make fun of her attempt to qualify (ie: do you guys ever work in your directorate? When do you find the time for long lunch breaks? ;p)
    Alternatively, I have read in some blogs that I should reward girls that attempt to qualify themselves (and punish them when they act bitchy). I am not so sure about that. That would be like putting her on a pedestal.
    Otherwise, I completely ignore her attempt to qualify and talk about something else and try to dhv.

    What do you guys think? Anything would probably work to be honest, but I want to trigger a reaction. This is part of my learning process to understand what type of behaviour girls respond the best.

    Thanks in advance, mates!

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice - experimenting with this girl

    I would just simply reply. 'Ok sounds good, what day do you want to meet?'. or 'Sure, if wednesday is not good, let's meet this thursday. I love sushi'. Maybe you can make it a dinner date rather than lunch so you can escalte more physically. Think of it in reverse...if you ask a girl out all you really want is a 'yes, what time shall I meet you?'. You don't want a spanish inquisition over it or it turned around into a childish game.

    That's all you need to say, no need to make it a big deal. Then on the date make sure you Kino and because you know each other already, and she is chasing you somewhat, I would go straight for a kiss/fark close if the conversation is good during the date. Make it happen. It didn't happen with her ex and she was honest with you about that so be honest with her and play it very natural.

    Also I try not to think of dating girls just for the sake of it or as 'practice'. All girls are special in their own way - there are just some that are more special than others or more suited to longer relationships than others so always respect women and make it special no matter how long you are together.

  3. #3
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice - experimenting with this girl

    Thanks, man! Yeah, you are right, I am overthinking this. I just went for a regular message.

    The reason I am overreacting is because of my female buddy. She keeps saying my texts suck and that I should constantly look cool. Bad advice from a woman, I know...
    She has managed to distort my vision of things where everything now has to be a mind game and implicit. Damn...

    I don't know her that well, so I prefer a lunch meeting for now. She has been insisting to invite me and we have been postponing this forever, so now's the time to do it. I will have however to think of a follow-up date where I will escalate things.

    But ya know, even if she has been honest with me, my pride cannot accept that I am her plan B. I hate it when girls underestimate me so much that they take me for granted. That is why I am not taking this girl seriously and am just "playing around". It can be fun in the long run, so I have nothing to lose and I don't have to feel pressure anymore.

  4. #4
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need some advice - experimenting with this girl

    Don't go cold on her if you're at least somewhat interested.. keep the line of communication open.

    Also- you don't have to "look cool".. you just have to express a fun, interesting vibe that beckons her to want to know more.

    Never allow yourself to be a "plan B".. but DO realize that if a girl isn't hooked on you, then you're missing something, or not doing something correctly... period.

    In other words- change your scheme if you're not getting the results you're looking for.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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