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  1. #1
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default When options become overwhelming

    I met Jane in a class about 6 months ago.

    Things progressed quite quickly, mostly on physical grounds.

    We were seeing each other usually 5 times a week

    I was very "in" to her, and she would regularly tell me that she liked me, but not as much as I liked her.

    I survived the stresses of knowing I could lose her because she wasn't as in to me and we essentially stayed together.


    Fast forward to two months ago.

    After some Push Pull over the course of a few days, she's telling me she does like me, a Lot. I ask her if she wants to be "official" ie: boyfriend-girlfriend.

    She says yes and we continue happily with the pet names and the like for a bit.


    Fast forward a bit more to a month ago.

    I don't have time to see her as much as I work 30+ hours a week and school is starting to really pick up.

    She tells me we should take a break because I don't have time for her.

    I tell her I'm open to doing whatever she wants, but I don't want to lose her if I get a say in it.

    We cry together, cuddle, hug and fuck.

    This is the point I realize we're having too much sex.


    This happens again last week.


    I told her I think she exercises her control over me with sex and she agrees.


    I met Anette a few months ago.

    She is many, many, many times more compatible with me, far, far more attractive, and everything I know that turns into a long term, happy relationship with my personality.


    We run into each other twice a week as we have a class together, and have some amazing talks.

    I feel the need to reiterate the fact that these talks are absolutely incredible.

    Probably the best conversations I've had with any girl, and they go on for hours.



    Lately we've been flirting and hanging out after class every now and then.


    Last night was her birthday, and she called me drunk at around midnight, telling me her friends dropped her off at home but she wasn't ready to end the night.


    I caved and drove out to pick her up.


    Pick her up, she's buzzed or acting it, touchy - feely grazing her hand against mine.



    We end up at the beach, both lightly buzzed.

    We play around in the shallow water a little bit and end up laying down in the sand, her curled up half-laying on me.


    We dust off and head back to the car.


    Start driving her home and right before we get there she points out a church she previously told me about.



    I pull into the parking lot and we get out and talk a pinch, then I run back into the car to the warmth. (We're both wet from the ocean and its cold out.


    I curl into the fetal position in the back seat with the heat cranking as she opens the door.


    She joins me and we cuddle, kind of caressing each other, hands grazing (innocently) and combing through hair.


    We whisper softly into each others' ears about how we're bad for each other

    She grazes her lips lightly across my neck

    Whispering continues

    I graze my lips across her neck with more intention, and kiss her behind her ear

    15-20 minutes of this and we call it a night as it's around 3:30am

    I kiss her on the cheek and we jump back into the front seats and I drive her home.


    Right as she's getting out I give her a very nicely wrapped gift that I know she's like, though it's quite modest, and write a very clever but concise note on a small card on top of the gift.


    I don't want to hurt Jane

    Annette is 500x more compatible with me but says she wants to be single for a year before getting back into something; I'm making that very difficult for her and I'm sure she's contemplating.


    I want to remain friends with Jane, but if and when we split, friends have told me it'd be best if we had 2 months of space before attempting a friendship.


    I haven't left Jane because I felt it's bad to leave her just because I found something better, but although Annette and I haven't kissed yet, I feel I've crossed a line of what I consider to be okay. If not, I'm stepping hard on the line.

    Also because of my own insecurity.



    I'm not sure where Jane and I stand.


    Annette and I wouldn't be nearly as sexually active, but I think that's okay.


    Mainly, how to I put ice on Jane and I without hurting her, and retain our friendship?



    Pleas help.

  2. #2
    Method420 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: When options become overwhelming

    So without thinking about any of there feelings for a second here, what would make you the happiest in a decision?

  3. #3
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: When options become overwhelming

    Quote Originally Posted by Method420 View Post
    So without thinking about any of there feelings for a second here, what would make you the happiest in a decision?
    Good question.
    Honestly, to be very close to both of them.

    Not necessarily sleeping with both at the same time, but being able to spend quality time with each of them (as I'm doing now)

  4. #4
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    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: When options become overwhelming

    This is why I almost never go exclusive with a woman. Sure I know there might the possibility of them being with other guys, but if that is the case then more power to them.

    I don't like exclusivity because I'm almost guaranteed to meet some woman that gets me off in a superior way to the last one a week later. Sometimes it's just about the chase. I really love the seduction process, not just the sex itself. Even when I lose out, I still love the chase.

    So I would suggest talking to your main girl and explaining to her that her using sex as a means of control really disturbs you, especially because it is still really early in the relationship and if she's doing this now.. more heinous forms of control are sure to come down the line.

    I know many guys around here have a code of honor about "playing" women. I share no such sentiments. If you want to see both women and can pull it off.. then I won't judge you for it. But that's just me.


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