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  • 1 Post By lenric
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Thread: When she says I am rushing

  1. #1
    havefun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default When she says I am rushing

    It happens for the second time. I was chatting with an "ex" of mine and we were arraging a date and she trows the line:

    "You know I am really emotional. I don not want to rush things out.".

    What does this mean?
    How should I handle the date?

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: When she says I am rushing

    It means you should ignore it and flirt more by being fun (and not funny, you're not a comedian) and teasing her.

  3. #3
    havefun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: When she says I am rushing

    Thanks!

    Well I got really a lot of IOIs from her:
    - initiates and re-intiates convo
    - talks about her being naked.
    - trying to make me jealous.
    - etc

    The problem is, that I hurted her in the past and she told me "I want to feel loved". Should I bother calling her and goi g on the date and how is it best to handle the situation?

  4. #4
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: When she says I am rushing

    "You know I am really emotional. I don not want to rush things out.".

    The psychology behind this can be a little misleading. Especially if she's your ex, the timing you're contacting her really dictates everything. If you've contacted her/arranged a meeting in less than 30 days (emphasis intended) it is probably way too soon to start trying to initiate any kind of contact with her. Why 30 days? Because anything short of that doesn't give the time for negative feelings after the breakup to dissipate (in my opinion and the opinion of professionals I've read up on - 30 days seems to be a fairly consistent time frame).

    So given that background, when she says "You know I am really emotional. I don not want to rush things out.", it is very possible that she still has a lot of really negative emotions surrounding you and your break up with her, and isn't just some sh!t test. When you go out her, yes you'll get the ioi's and be able to flirt with her because you've already established that rapport with her, but to her it's like letting her relive the parts in your relationship that were good and fun. However, as much as this sounds like a good thing, it's really not. Women justify their decisions by how they feel, not like men who justify their decisions based off logic. If she's still feeling vulnerable and hurt by the break up, she will use those negative emotions to justify not being with you or giving you a second chance. No matter how good you may treat her, you will always have that against you unless you give it time for those feelings to go away.

    If she was just some random HB, absolutely I'd say it's a sh!t test to make her not feel like she was being easy. However, this is a different situation and should be handled differently. Getting back with your Ex has a very different approach then dealing with a girl you've never met before. My advice would be to use her own line to slow things down, and actually tell you something to the effect of "If we go anywhere from here, we have to start from scratch and all over again." You have to drive home that this can't be a continuation of your last relationship but a brand new one - and actually treat it that way. This may help her separate the negative emotions.

  5. #5
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: When she says I am rushing

    "You know I am really emotional. I don not want to rush things out.".
    its her way of building sexual Tension. she wants you to feel like sex is not certain (as that's the same thing that turns her on). however by saying this, she acknowledges that she's thinking about what It would be like to rush things.

    if you want to fark her, the thing to do is to acknowledge the barrier while stating sexual interest.

    drop a line like

    " right now I'm thinking about what it would be like to bone you right on this very table, but I don't want to rush things"

    then go right back to your convo.

    she's already thinking about farking you, so all you have to do from there is extract and escalate.

    (if that's what you want)

    otherwise just have a normal conversation and enjoy each others company.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: When she says I am rushing

    I love it when a girl says I'm rushing things! This is my response "You're right. We ARE rushing things. Let's take things slower". For some reason when you tell a girl to take things slower everything amps up in escalation. They don't expect you to agree and when you do they don't like it, because they ACTUALLY liked how fast it was going.


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