matched this girl two months ago on tinder. lives 6 hours from here by car so didnt plan anything serious at first. But the last 3/4 weeks we been talking more and more serious to the point i feel we are both emotional invested, allthough we havent even met. Was suposed to meet her last weekend and then again next weekend. But she says she is scared and i think she is going tru some sort of depression. Both late 20's, i work as a manager. she as a teacher. we chat every day and skype for hours when we can. We've sexted, had deep conversation etc. im planning to take a 50 min flight there to meet. We are both crazy about hiking mountains and going on that type of trips.
Here is the chat from yesterday and today (long). I just want you guys' view on this. Is there anything i can do different here to make her less scared, or is this something she needs to figure on her own?
Conversation is on facebook chat. and she starts to talk about our plan to meet thursday.
Her: I need to work thursday btw, got students that have their exams in the evening
me: ah, thursday is a no-go then, I want to meet you without students there!
Her: hehe, agree. Its the same for next week too. But at least i get to buy new skiis for the extra paycheck
me: I'm away that week anyways
me: since the weekends this months are buisy for us, what about a weeknight? Im free to reschedual my work anyday, so dont matter. If youre not in the mood we dont need to talk about that now though
her: i feel more and more like i got big problems setting up a date. Its a situation i cant handle as of now. I really enjoy our contact, but i feel i have to tell that im not sure if i can take the next step. But then again, i feel really down today, so might just be that
me: I understand
her: i mean every word ive told you so far though, just so you know.
me: me too. Sometimes this is out of our control, nothing i can do about it.
her: You are amazing. Wish i had my head and courage with me
me: I find you amazing too. Got to admit ill be bummed out if we dont go further then this
her: me too
me: dont know what to say. I dont think what I see in you will change when we meet. If you are shy or insecure face to face, thats stuff that dont matter. but ive been down before myself, know how it feels
her: in my head i picture all i want to explore and see with you. Got so much to show you, but then i just cant.
me: same with me. You mean something good to me. Dont want to lose that, feels a bit surreal.
her: well, you have me, in many ways
me: might see it a bit dark myself here then
her: dont know whats happening to me. Im usually always happy
me: its allowed to be down sometimes too. Dont make you a bad person. Any specific thoughts of what you are afraid of with meeting me?
her: yeah, at least 100
me: youre smart and creative, perfect reciepe for creating scary thoughts. Side effect of two good qualities though
her: add some bad experiences to that mix
me: got some of those myself. Whatever you are afraid of is not real with me though.
her: as long as you are honest with me
me: been honest since the start. What worries you the most?
her: worried that one of us will fall in love and the other wont, maybe
me: me falling in love with you and you dont want to?
her: or the opposite
me: i feel its a risk worth taking. builiding on what we have now i think will lead to both of us feeling good. Hope im not too far into the future for your liking. If youve been yourself with me, i can hardly see us change.
her: Im trying to be myself, but you kinda dont know how i am untill we meet
me: im pretty sure ill meet the same person ive been talking to for 2 months. Been myself the whole time, wont find it different face to face. I like your personality, comon interestes, how you talk about yourself, me and people around you.
her: you are precious. Its not often someone gets under my skin like that, but you do. Thats a compliment
me: seems like we both been hurt in the past
her: i kinda avoided all situations that could lead to a relationship. it feels too risky. Im toast
me: i see it different than you. getting hurt feels so bad, but i feel i have to take that risk if i want to achieve what i want in life
her: what do you want in life?
me: share it with someone i feel deserve it, but also makes me feel the same. What about you?
her: thats a good answer. For me, i dont know. Its just dark now
me: my thoughts then, when you tell me about trips you want to bring me to etc is that i want nothing more then that. If you dont feel the same we arent at the same spot and odds are i will fall for you without getting the same feelins in return
her: i think we both feel the same way about each other
me: and we are both afraid of not getting anything in return once we meet
me: then we are indeed at the same spot
her: except you are more open about it
me: been tru alot, feel i can be more open. Dont make me better than you though. Dont wish anyone else to go tru that
me: <3 want to show you so much, make you forget about everything else, work etc
her: im allready there, but on the other side of that scale
me: work is bothering you?
her: no, but everything is just on autopilot. I dont make an effort like i used to
me: i understand
her: only thing i want is go out hiking mountains. Only thing that gives me something of value
me: know that feeling. Id give you a mountain if i could
her: (after 15 minutes, late at night ) kinda feel asleep a bit
me: thats allowed
her: good night <3
me: good night <3
That was yesterday, the whole thing gave me a bad feeling, so didnt feel like talking to her today. Recieved some snaps etc, opened them after a few hours and they all were like nothing happened. Then she starts texting me again around 3pm
her: links a article about mountains
me: seen it, its cool
her: it is
then i dont reply for 30 minutes
me: its cold here
her: always cold at your place it seems. Its warm here
me: always warm at your place it seems
her: 9 degrees outside, the snow in the mountains is gone again
me: 7 degrees here. Still chance for hiking for you then
her: yeah, except its dark early
me: True. Was actually checking out flashlights yesterday
her: *links a picture of the reciept showing her imac has arrived at the mail office* yay!
her: guess ill go there and pick it up. was actualllllly planning to workout
me: allready worked out today. Took the liberty to go home early from work
her: you are efficent!
me: just gave all the tasks to my assistant. She needs to feel some pressure
her: at least you are good at sharing tasks then
me: pure lazynes today. Feel i deserve half a day off
her: you do! mondays are crap
me: yeah. today feels a bit crap
her: agree. Today someone wrote MILF and my name on the blackboard. Didnt know if i was to get mad or laugh
me: haha, looks like one of my spies is starting to get the job done then! (joking in the past about having spyes in her class to report back to me about her)
her: anoying spies you have. Didnt figure out who it was either
me: just wait till you see what they have written on the back window of your car!
me: "c*ntfood" (a word she found in a book at school and cracked her up in front of her students
her: haha, oh noes. Was the same class. Damn it!
me: we had a spy meeting today. Strategy for the next 6 months. why i left early from work
her: aha, whats the strategy?
me: well you know, the airbag light thats on in your car? my bad!
me: switched your airbag with an inflatable doll, but something went wrong so the light came on
me: was suposed to go off in the school yard in front of everyone
me: *kissing smiley*
her: im going hiking tonight! with flashlight
me: i want to go aswell
her: dont think its going to be a good trip though. raining like hell. Probably slippery
her: links a picture of the mountain she is hiking.
me: looks like a nice mountain
her: its a easy hike. My neighbour did it in 16 minutes
me: ill do it in 15 then
her: good luck:P i do it in 21
me: under an hour for all of us then
her: links me a blog of some famous person that been there. writes "yuk, she been there!
her: but at least she used two hours up
me: probably same as me, but i would have my man purse to carry (inside joke from before about how u would look with a manpurse )
her: pick up the mac or go workout?
me: hard choice
her: not hiking until 4 hours from now
me: do both then
her: yeah, i guess
me: good plan
her: i just want to relax on the sofa (here ive used to reply "come spoon with me" before and we would start talking about cuddly bf/gf stuff, but after yesterday, i didnt want to push it)
me: heads up, one of the spies is waiting to grab your mac from you
me: awww, ill stop him/her, since its you
me: going to steal you instead
her: now ive got a new pc at work too!
me: going to be a long trip for you in the back of the car. If its any comfort youll pass alot of mountains on the way here. Too bad ive instructed the spies to blindfold you
me: gratz with the new pc btw
her: thanks. And with the mac we can skype like crazy
me: dont even have to be on the floor? (she did before as she had to charge her old pc all the time while skyping )
her: miss my old schedual. Now i got so many classes early. makes it hard to motivate to workout late
me: same with me
her: skipping some excersize just to not have to wait. Mondays are the worst
me: chest-monday, that was my workout
me: sore in the chest already, feels swollen.
her: what shoud i workout today?
her: hehe, okay
me: as i dont have spies at your gym, you got to send me before and after pics yourself
her: silly you!
me: back workout tomorrow, best day
her: you workout everyday?
me: only when i feel like it. so anything from 2 to 6 days a week
her: what gym should i pick, the one at the post office or the one downtown?
me: the one at the post office. Less people around when you take that ass picutre you're going to send me
her: hehe, well, i think there is more people there
her: okay, im off, ill go there
me: okay, taking a shower, going to help a lady-friend of mine with some carpenting. Her bf is the worst at that stuff. Enjoy the trip!
her: enjoy carpenting