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  1. #1
    Paladin6596 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    Tonight I was supposed to go on a date with one girl who I clicked with but family stuff came up and she had to cancel.

    There was another girl who I was talking to and I tried to make plans with for tonight but she said she doesn't make plans but does things impromptu. I said I'd hit her up. She's 21. I wasn't expecting the first girl to bail but it got to 8:30 so I decided to hit up the second one.

    I called her and said we should get a drink tonight. She says I dunno I maybe going out with friends. I'm like what do you mean? She says don't worry about it. I say are you talking about another guy from Tinder? She says yeah I'm not gonna lie.

    I say you should come out with me we'll have fun. She says I'll think about it and let you know. It's getting late by this point and I'm thinking well is it yes or no lol.

    It seems like she was weighing her options on who she'd rather have gone out with between me and the other guy but I didn't want her to have the frame control of being the selector. I told her well I'm just gonna make other plans then.

    She says with who another Tinder girl? I say don't worry about it like she had said to me earlier. She says OK and we end the convo.

    I feel like if I had played my cards right I may have been able to persuade her to come out with me but I couldn't be a chump and say OK let me know and just feel like an option on her back burner. Either you wanna see me or not. I tried to play it off like OK well I've got other options and if you don't want to see me I'll remove myself as one of your options.

    How would you guys have handled this situation on the phone with her?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    Build attraction before you ask her out.
    That's one of the biggest mistakes guys make, when it comes to online game. (Like Tinder/POF/Instagram, etc...)

    They push too soon to try getting the meet up, so the girl says stuff like "maybe" or "we'll see" or "I'll let you know".. & it usually goes into crash & burn, or the girl flakes out.

    Don't be in such a rush to meet up.
    Seriously. Build attraction first, as well as SUSPENSE & ANTICIPATION.

    Game SEVERAL girls at once. That helps with patience.
    When you only game one at a time, you're more likely to feel desperate & jump the gun before you have the girl hooked.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    Quote Originally Posted by Paladin6596 View Post
    Tonight I was supposed to go on a date with one girl who I clicked with but family stuff came up and she had to cancel.

    There was another girl who I was talking to and I tried to make plans with for tonight but she said she doesn't make plans but does things impromptu. I said I'd hit her up. She's 21. I wasn't expecting the first girl to bail but it got to 8:30 so I decided to hit up the second one.

    I called her and said we should get a drink tonight. She says I dunno I maybe going out with friends. I'm like what do you mean? She says don't worry about it. I say are you talking about another guy from Tinder? She says yeah I'm not gonna lie.

    I say you should come out with me we'll have fun. She says I'll think about it and let you know. It's getting late by this point and I'm thinking well is it yes or no lol.

    It seems like she was weighing her options on who she'd rather have gone out with between me and the other guy but I didn't want her to have the frame control of being the selector. I told her well I'm just gonna make other plans then.

    She says with who another Tinder girl? I say don't worry about it like she had said to me earlier. She says OK and we end the convo.

    I feel like if I had played my cards right I may have been able to persuade her to come out with me but I couldn't be a chump and say OK let me know and just feel like an option on her back burner. Either you wanna see me or not. I tried to play it off like OK well I've got other options and if you don't want to see me I'll remove myself as one of your options.

    How would you guys have handled this situation on the phone with her?
    You were soooo fucking needy. She didn't want to go out with you, because you didn't show enough value. You haven't build attraction.
    She rejected you and you asked why and tried to know more than you're entitled to. "Is it another guy from tinder?" really man?

    You shouldn't say either that she should hang out with you because she'll have fun. It makes you even needier and a supplicating guy, begging for her. She would have fun with you if she'd feel attracted to you, copy that?

    You completely gave up the frame of being the selector.

    To make things even worse, you said that you'd do something else, which is also bad, because it basically says "ok, I'm telling you indirectly that I'm going out with other girls just to make you jealous and to make you think that other girls desire me, even though it's a lie."

    Work on your inner game man, you need a lot of self improvement.

  4. #4
    Paladin6596 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    You were soooo farking needy.
    Where exactly was I needy?

    She didn't want to go out with you, because you didn't show enough value. You haven't build attraction.
    She matched me on tinder. What do you mean I didn't build attraction? She said yes. What more do I need?


    She rejected you and you asked why and tried to know more than you're entitled to. "Is it another guy from tinder?" really man?
    I asked her in a sarcastic tone. I really didn't expect her to say yes but I just went with it.

    You shouldn't say either that she should hang out with you because she'll have fun. It makes you even needier and a supplicating guy, begging for her. She would have fun with you if she'd feel attracted to you, copy that?
    I was just being genuine. We talked on the phone. She was definitely into me. My question is how do I handle this girl playing games... You're just telling me I suck. I get it. I'm always working on myself, asshole.

    You completely gave up the frame of being the selector.
    No. I didn't "give up the selector frame." That's why I went all Mark Cuban on her and told her its now or never. I was the selector.

    To make things even worse, you said that you'd do something else, which is also bad, because it basically says "ok, I'm telling you indirectly that I'm going out with other girls just to make you jealous and to make you think that other girls desire me, even though it's a lie."
    Okay, so what was I supposed to say then?

    "Cool. I will sit right next to my phone, staring until your name gracefully presents itself on my LCD screen that is no where near as beautiful as your shiney eyes."


    Work on your inner game man, you need a lot of self improvement.
    Work on giving advice that you didn't pull from a text book. Shit man... reading your post fucked me up even more. Thanks dude.

  5. #5
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    Yes, I'm an asshole and I love it. Am I supposed to feel insulted? lol

    Good thing that you stated the obvious. Now start to react as a man when someone tells you in what you're failing and then start to think about attracting girls, since you can't even handle rejection or critics.

  6. #6
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    No offense but if the woman is playing games that typically means you have no game(at least not yet).

  7. #7
    bookofheelai is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    My man Paladin,

    For future references, don't ask something like ... " are you talking about another guy from Tinder?"..

    It is needy behavior, which is turn OFF for women.

    If she makes other plans; let it go. I would've just said," alright, have a fun night! lmk if you want to hang out..." (something like that). I would leave it there. She'll either reply back, or not.

    Don't ask her questions like who's she's going out with. She barely even knows you. Building attraction, being playful, and keeping it open is the best way to go.

    It also seemed like you were trying to convince her to go out with you. BAD Idea. Reading sarcasm isn't easy via text. Even if you were joking, it still communicates neediness. She gonna wonder, "does this guy not have any other girls to go out with?"

    I'm gonna go with what T-Mal said. You gotta build it up. The attraction and anticipation. She gotta be excited about going out with you. Make it a challenge for her if possible. And if she doesn't respond, maybe she wasn't interested to begin with. In that case, move on the next one.

  8. #8
    ricklamesb@gmail.com is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    I think that online/social media pick up is a lie ,it's full of fakes n flakes...and non HB10's BELIEVE ME

  9. #9
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    Quote Originally Posted by ricklamesb@gmail.com View Post
    I think that online/social media pick up is a lie ,it's full of fakes n flakes...and non HB10's BELIEVE ME
    Exwmples???
    We can't "believe you" if you don't help us understand why you say that.

    Online pickup can be an amazing way to meet people. But its tougher because you lose out on things like vocal tonalities/inflections, facial expressions & body language.

    Most guys crash & burn at first. But it can be a goldmine.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tinder girl playing games, how to have handled the situation

    So how do you prevent yourself crashing and burning in online dating?


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