Help and advice on Day 2ís (first dates)
I have been looking around to see whether I can find some information on how to improve my first dates and I havenít really found any decent comprehensive guides or ebooks that would give me a good model to work towards and something that will help me evaluate myself and see where I am making mistakes because I often come away thinking that the date went well, but then I never hear back from the girl! My last 5 dates, I have had 4 women who I have not seen again other than maybe one or two text messages then nothing! The one that did come back was a girl that i wasnít massively keen on! Which is typical! This is an area that I have to improve and I want to increase my odds and have more of a solid formula for day 2ís and get that number up to 5/5 if possible.
I am able to get a girl onto a first date thatís not a problem for me, luckily I have a natural way of keeping the conversation going and I am pretty good at refraining from asking the boring mundane interview style questions. I am often able to create good rapport with a fun and easy going vibe and I feel that I am able to make people comfortable talking to me and hanging around with me, I have always been able to treat people like I have known them for years, even strangers and attractive women that I am interested in and I have a good sense of humour and fun so I feel like the girlís are having a good time.
I never suffer from nerves as I am confident in my ability to get on with people, I very rarely feel intimidated by dateís no matter how hot the girl is, I always feel itís the girl who will be the nervous one and I often frame myself into leading her and making her feel comfortable and generally having a good time getting to know them.
I donít think itís my conversation thatís the problem or my personality or my body language and I often try to choose at least two date locations. The only area that I feel where I am going wrong is that I donít Kino escalate, often I feel like a physical barrier between the two of us and I often donít feel I am ready to break it Ė I know i need to create more playful Kino, hi-fiveís thumbwar light touching etc ect but I find that quite hard to do during a date when you are sitting next to or opposite to each other. (most of my dateís involve a pub/bar for a couple of drinks Ė i live in a small town and there is not an awful lot to do other than those kind of dates).
How important is Kino Escalation on a first date? I find it difficult to understand that if the girl had a good time with me, would she really NOT contact me or go on second date purely because I did not kino escalate or pull the trigger? Are girls really that shallow? Or is there something else that i am missing? (this is why i need a ebook first date guide!!)
In my head I am thinking that i need to start off as if I am interested but not into her too much, Iím thinking as the date goes on and if she is responsive and adding to the conversation then I can reward her by getting closer to her, light touching teasing etc etc and then if she responds i can get a bit more daring - it never really goes like that to be fair as I never feel like she is ready for me to push it! Or I worry that itís not time to push it!
I have read stuff about this and I know that I need to go for the kiss during the date not at the end of the date, I always hug and kiss on the cheek when I first meet them, I never shake hands, like I say, I think the only area I fail on is kino Ė but is it REALLY THAT Important? Or am i giving off the vibe that I am not interested? Or am I failing somewhere else??
I have had feedback from some girls who have given me the dreaded ďI had fun but there just wasnít any chemistyĒ WTF does that mean?? How do i digest that feedback if I donít know what they mean by that and how do i flip it so they do feel this ďchemistryĒ??
Does this mean there is no sexual tension? If so how do I create this??
Another point Ė I never compliment a girl, not on the way she looks or anything Ė i have it in my head that if I do that then thatís AFC or if i show too much interest then again thatís AFC Ė am i wrong to presume this?
There doesnít not seem to be an awful lot of information around about what to do AFTER you get a girls number and I was looking to see whether there was an ebook i could read or any tips or guides so that i can learn from my mistakes and get better at this.