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Thread: She's a cheater...

  1. #1
    Konstantin is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default She's a cheater...

    I need some advice....
    Long story short, I met a girl at the beginning of Sept in university and I've been banging her daily since. Problem is, she's in a LDR with her bf in another city. Normally that wouldn't be a problem because if she just wants a NSA fuck buddy then I'm all for it. However, I noticed that I get pissed and jealous when her bf calls or when other guys hit on her at the bar so I'm starting to get attached.

    Partially this is my fault because I didn't continue to keep my distance once we started banging to keep it strictly fuck buddy. She has most of the traits that I look for in a girl and would like to date her. She's going to break up with her bf and this is where I need help.

    A) should I date this girl if she dumps her bf?
    B) how do I make sure she doesn't cheat if I decide to date her
    C) how can i stop worrying that she might cheat on me? (always in the back of my mind)
    D) if I shouldnt date her, how do I get unattached without screwing shit up? Or am I being stupid because that doesn't sound plausible?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: She's a cheater...

    There's no easy answer here.
    You can NEVER be sure she wouldn't cheat on you if you two were "together".

    However; a "Long Distance" relationship rarely works & I'm not sure if that even qualifies as actually being a relationship.

    The F**K Buddy thing rarely works for very long. SOMEONE usually ends up developing feelings. And that makes it hard to let go...

    The BEST thing to do is "have the talk". You have to risk screwing it up by letting her know you're totally digging her & want to see how things could work out if you two were exclusive.

    It's almost like getting out of the friend zone. You gotta roll the dice & see how it goes.
    Sometimes, the girl feels the same way & is hoping the guy will pick up on that vibe & make a move.

    Other times, it blows up & falls apart.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She's a cheater...

    I noticed that I get pissed and jealous
    if you're getting jealous, that's your problem, not hers. you're an alpha male, your emotions are controlled by you and no one else. learn better self control and the jealousy will be gone.

    A) should I date this girl if she dumps her bf?
    hell no.
    if she cheated on him to be with you, don't think for a minute that she won't cheat on you to be with someone else.

    B) how do I make sure she doesn't cheat if I decide to date her
    the best way to keep her from cheating is to please her every time you fark and to always stay less attached to the relationship than she is.

    C) how can i stop worrying that she might cheat on me? (always in the back of my mind)
    learn to keep a calm mind. manage your internal state, and stay busy to keep your mind off of her.

    D) if I shouldnt date her, how do I get unattached without screwing shit up? Or am I being stupid because that doesn't sound plausible?
    here's how I stay unattached. I keep this thought in the back of my mind that I want to cheat on her and that it would be easy for me to do.
    so if she cheats on me, that just gives me an excuse to make our relationship an "open relationship" and get to finally turn those fantasies of cheating on her into realities.

    but if you're trying to settle down with her for the long term, telling her that is only going to throw away the nice fwb arrangement that you already have.

    if I were in your circumstance, I'd keep farking her while looking for better options. and I would be sleeping with other women to stay non-needy.

  4. #4
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: She's a cheater...

    Don't date her. She's already cheating on her boyfriend with you. The best way to predict future behavior is from past behavior.

    Tell her you want a threesome with her and her best looking friend. If she says no and is disgusted you two are done (who cares, you can find another hole). If she says no but sticks around you keep banging her. If she says yes you get an awesome threesome. It's a win-win-win!

  5. #5
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She's a cheater...

    Don't date her man. I have one rule: never be the other guy. Not to mention I totally agree with what t-mal is saying. If she's willing to cheat on you for this guy, who's to say she won't cheat on you when youre not filling her needs anymore?

  6. #6
    DeviantMethod's Avatar
    DeviantMethod is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She's a cheater...

    Don't ever be the first to bridge the topic of dating her exclusively. Don't be jealous when her boyfriend calls your farking his girl for crying out loud. You have the upper hand. Don't worry about her flirting with other guys, Plus keep in mind if you go there the point she will prove is to you and you alone. She will become difficult and maybe stop farking you all together. Your jealously wont necessary influence any of her actions when she's not directly in front of you. Just enjoy her for what she is. A EVERYDAY FARK DATE. Don't ever allow yourself to be jealous of her flirting. make her feel your her best friend instead. You guys have a connection and understanding there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Maintaining your current balance is key to keeping this one around for recreation sex and stress relief. Some girls belong to you. The rest belong to everyone. This particular girl Belongs to everyone. That being said its ok to like her. Why shouldn't you? She provides you with countless hours of sexual satisfaction. You risk Trapping your self in a hole if you try to make her something she is not.Your type of GF. Enjoy the moment.
    NowYourFucked.tumblr .com/
    READ MY BLOG (farked is the 4 letter curse word)
    put it in correctly and follow me.

  7. #7
    Bill Preston's Avatar
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    Cool Re: She's a cheater...

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    if you're getting jealous, that's your problem, not hers. you're an alpha male, your emotions are controlled by you and no one else. learn better self control and the jealousy will be gone.



    hell no.
    if she cheated on him to be with you, don't think for a minute that she won't cheat on you to be with someone else.



    the best way to keep her from cheating is to please her every time you fark and to always stay less attached to the relationship than she is.



    learn to keep a calm mind. manage your internal state, and stay busy to keep your mind off of her.



    here's how I stay unattached. I keep this thought in the back of my mind that I want to cheat on her and that it would be easy for me to do.
    so if she cheats on me, that just gives me an excuse to make our relationship an "open relationship" and get to finally turn those fantasies of cheating on her into realities.

    but if you're trying to settle down with her for the long term, telling her that is only going to throw away the nice fwb arrangement that you already have.

    if I were in your circumstance, I'd keep farking her while looking for better options. and I would be sleeping with other women to stay non-needy.

    PURE GOLD.

    I once had a FWB call me up crying because she had slept with some guy who was in town visiting her. I told her, it's OK we are not exclusive and she shouldn't worry about it. She never wanted to be with another guy after that.

    I couldn't have been less jealous and she LOVED it.

  8. #8
    Paladin6596 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She's a cheater...

    Quote Originally Posted by Konstantin View Post
    I need some advice....
    Long story short, I met a girl at the beginning of Sept in university and I've been banging her daily since. Problem is, she's in a LDR with her bf in another city. Normally that wouldn't be a problem because if she just wants a NSA fark buddy then I'm all for it. However, I noticed that I get pissed and jealous when her bf calls or when other guys hit on her at the bar so I'm starting to get attached.

    Partially this is my fault because I didn't continue to keep my distance once we started banging to keep it strictly fark buddy. She has most of the traits that I look for in a girl and would like to date her. She's going to break up with her bf and this is where I need help.

    A) should I date this girl if she dumps her bf?
    B) how do I make sure she doesn't cheat if I decide to date her
    C) how can i stop worrying that she might cheat on me? (always in the back of my mind)
    D) if I shouldnt date her, how do I get unattached without screwing shit up? Or am I being stupid because that doesn't sound plausible?

    A. I don't necessarily agree with the whole "once a cheat, always a cheat." People cheat in relationships because they aren't sexually satisfied. This is clearly the type of girl who is not cut out for monogamy so be ready for an open relationship or atleast bringing other people into bed with you. Keep her satisfied and she'll never "cheat" on you. Relationships aren't about possession. They are about making each other happy. Yes. That is a mutual thing. If she doesn't make you happy, get the fuck out. Be real with yourself. Don't be blinded by the booty.

    B. Again, relationships aren't about possession. Cheating is all a matter of perspective. Keep each other happy.... even if that means you watch her fuck another guy. Who knows... you might actually like it. It's pretty hot

    C. Stop thinking of her as a possession or an object. Her pussy is not YOURS. Other guys may satisfy her in a different way than you do. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't "please" her... more so means that she is a woman who desires more than one man. Don't be a hypocrite... You'd take more than one woman if you could.

    D. Go meet more girls.

  9. #9
    Bill Preston's Avatar
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