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  • 1 Post By lenric

Thread: Next move after first date?

  1. #1
    lonely_z1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Next move after first date?

    Long story short, picked up a girl at a party, asked her out. She seemed to enjoy the date, we spent around 3 hours together, however there was a time where it was extremely awkward and I might have made myself look like an idiot. It's when she had to go meet her cousin for about 10-15 minutes. I completely had no idea what to talk about with them at that moment. Anywho, time passed, we ditched her. Held hands, and as for win-win situation, we kissed; yes, on the first date. The thing here is, that I don't understand why she didn't text me after getting home. I texted her about 3 hours after we departed after the date, and she took a little longer to reply than she usually would, sure she might be busy but she wouldn't show much interest and she even lied about going to sleep, because she hid her "Last Seen" on Whatsapp. What do you guys understand from this? Should I text this girl and ask her out for the second date, I know I screwed up by not asking her that on the first date. But what now? Is this girl still interested? I'm still waiting for her to text me, since last night. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    The problem is you are getting too much inside your own head. You are worrying about it way too much because you are coming from a needy perspective. She didn't text you back or call you back. So what? That's her problem not yours. Wait a few days and just say "hey, hows it going?" like nothing happened. The more you focus on it and draw attention to it the more you are going to put her in a defensive position where she feels like she has to explain herself to you which will just push her away even further. One of your mistakes was to text her three hours after the date. For now I would just wait at least two days before contacting her but not ask her out just see what her mental state is like and see if she misses you etc. At this point you could say something like "I'm not sure about you. I think you blew it with me." You want to turn the tables. You want her to chase you. If you are coming across as the one who is chasing then you have already lost.

  3. #3
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    Another thing is if you are pursuing multiple women you wouldn't have this problem. If one girl didn't get back to you then so what you have others to chose from. Getting caught up on one girl is what is referred to as oneitis in PUA terms. It's something that you need to get over if you want to be successful with this.

  4. #4
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    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    Restraint the time you're together, especially in the first dates. Be always the first one ending the date and try to end it while she's very amused. As in, leave her on a high note.

  5. #5
    DeviantMethod's Avatar
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    Lenric makes very good points there. I always end it first. I will even tell someone to call my phone at a certain time so I can wrap it up and look like I have more important things to do. Anyway its good to get some Kino in. After about 8 hrs of interaction you'd should be in a really good spot with her. But you have to chop it up. 2 hrs here, 2 hrs there you know. You should only be looking to extend if things are going good and your really enjoying yourself. But its important to even end your phone calls on a high note. We all have our short comings bro so don't be discouraged. for example while i'm good at pick up in person, I have absolutely no social media game at all. its laughable bro. you have to laugh about and try to improve. Good luck
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    put it in correctly and follow me.

  6. #6
    lonely_z1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    Thanks a lot for your replies, guys. I took your advises, however I texted her again earlier today and played it cool as if nothing's wrong. She did the same. I asked her out for a second date on this Thursday. I'm not really sure what to make out of this, so here goes: she said she's going out of town to watch a cricket game live on Wednesday which is taking place in her hometown, which is actually true, but she said she'll let me know. Also, after a few more replies she ignored my last text for some reason.

    Here's how it ended:
    HER: We might go to *town's name* for the game, so I'll let you know.
    ME: Sure, I'll buy you candy so think twice
    HER: Ur gonna make me fat!
    ME: Ah, me? No, I don't think so, it's you who can't resist food!
    HER: But not a sweet fan though, but love cake!
    ME: Yeah? What's your favorite snack then?
    HER: Nothing in particular, i eat everything I see.. hehe
    ME: Easier for me haha

    And that's how it ended, no reply so far, it's been over a day. Yes, I'm aware that I might be getting the one-it-is sickness but I want it, for now. So let me know what you guys make out of this.

  7. #7
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    It seems like you're trying too hard & trying to "buy" her attention.

    Here's an alternative way this could have gone:

    HER: We might go to *town's name* for the game, so I'll let you know.

    You: You better! And maybe you'll get some candy out of the deal... if you're nice that is.

    HER: Ur gonna make me fat!
    You: Maybe, but you'd be Soooo hot as a chubby girl!

    HER: But not a sweet fan though, but love cake!

    You: Yeah? EVERY girls loves cake... tell me something more personal I didn't already know. What's your favorite snack?

    HER: Nothing in particular, i eat everything I see.. hehe

    You: Hmmm.. remind me to stay a safe distance from you then.. I don't want to end up missing fingers or anything. Talk to ya soon. Ciao!


    Trust me, you'll get better the more experience you get.
    & TEXT game is easy to learn. (That was what I started with, when I first began learning)


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  8. #8
    lonely_z1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Next move after first date?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    It seems like you're trying too hard & trying to "buy" her attention.

    Here's an alternative way this could have gone:

    HER: We might go to *town's name* for the game, so I'll let you know.

    You: You better! And maybe you'll get some candy out of the deal... if you're nice that is.

    HER: Ur gonna make me fat!
    You: Maybe, but you'd be Soooo hot as a chubby girl!

    HER: But not a sweet fan though, but love cake!

    You: Yeah? EVERY girls loves cake... tell me something more personal I didn't already know. What's your favorite snack?

    HER: Nothing in particular, i eat everything I see.. hehe

    You: Hmmm.. remind me to stay a safe distance from you then.. I don't want to end up missing fingers or anything. Talk to ya soon. Ciao!


    Trust me, you'll get better the more experience you get.
    & TEXT game is easy to learn. (That was what I started with, when I first began learning)

    Wow! That was amazing, the texts! Now you make me look like an AFC, texting girls. Lol, I thought I was doing fine at texting. Anyways, I'd love to learn more from you! Please let me know if you have links to any threads or books for me to read that you read. Thanks!


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