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Thread: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

  1. #1
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    To make a long story short, I met this girl who was in the states for 9 months working as an intern at my law firm. We met, started hanging out, started dating and sleeping together. After 9 months she went back home. We texted every day and Face Timed a couple of times a month. After a year she found a boyfriend but we still kept texting and video chatting and exchanging gifts for Christmas and birthdays. She came back to the US in October for three weeks. I learned from her sister that she was really looking forward to seeing me again and hanging out with me but was worried it would be uncomfortable. I worked very hard to not have it be like that and we had a blast. When she left I gave her a letter that I wrote her telling her how I feel about her. After two weeks she sent me this text

    Hey. How are you sweetie? Do you survive the storm Demon? Well I'm writing to you just to let you know that I had a good time being back in the US. It was really nice seeing you again! I really appreciated that you tried to make it cool between us and I thought we had a nice time together. But, after I read you letter to me in the airport I felt really uncomfortable. I can't change how you feel for me, but I can choose not to know it all. We are friends and the things you wrote aren't things you would say to friends! I'm sorry, but I would really appreciate if you held those things to yourself. I hope you understand my point of view and doesn't misunderstand me. I dont want you to be upset


    so my question is HOW DO I RESPOND TO THAT ???


    Thanks Guys

  2. #2
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    Don't. Move on man. She doesn't want you anymore. Yeah it sucks, but life is like this man. You fell in love with an "absent" person, it happens to the best of us man. Get a date in the next couple of weeks, I dare you !
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  3. #3
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    I get that Xaviar, I didn't want to be a pussy and apologize because I dont think I did anything wrong ..... THANKS

  4. #4
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    You don't have to apologize... You didn't do anything "wrong" per se, but she was just being honest about how SHE felt.

    You have to respect that.

    It's OK if your upset, just don't let your emotions control your actions. You have to be logical in your thinking & realize that things just aren't like they were.

    It sucks, sure... But it's reality.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    The big question is are you OK with being friends ... is your investment worth the return !?!?!??

  6. #6
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    So since it's pretty anonymouse here I figured I would post the letter I wrote this girl so you could get a better sense of whats going on. Tell me if it was out of line or if I sadi anything that was offensive. I really want to think this out before I respond because as T-Mal said I dont want to act on emotions



    My Dear --------- ,
    I will always remember the first time I saw you, the first time we spoke, the very first time my lips touched your lips, the very first time you held my hand, The twinkle in your eyes and the brightness of your smile. There are so many lovely memories. I remember what it was like to kiss you, the way you tasted, the softness of your lips, what it felt like to fall asleep next to you, to hold you in my arms, the warmness of your body. All those memories will forever keep flashing back in my mind; though I know things have changed between us …. I just can’t stop myself… I still love you... I still yearn for you, I still can’t stop thinking about you , and even though it may be a long time until the next time I see you; my love for you will never fade away. I will never regret falling in love with you … of wanting you, of dreaming to be with you, despite knowing that we would eventually have to say goodbye. My time with you was the happiest time of my life. Now, my greatest wish is for us to be friends forever; I just can’t imagine my life without you in it. Know that despite the distance between us, thoughts of you always warm my heart, make me smile, and touch my soul …. Know that I will always love you, be here for you, and care about you with all of my heart.

    All my Love Forever,



    Was this a bad letter to send, did I Fark up ???
    Thanks Guys

  7. #7
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    Are you trolling us? Either that, or the devil of wusses chopped off your d1ck and left without leaving a note telling "this guy has no balls, hence no testosterone."

    She doesn't like you, get over it and get on with your life. There are loads of more attractive woman over there. End of story.

  8. #8
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    Dsan, I have a friend who always says "NEVER PUT IT ON PAPER because once it's on paper you can't deny it" .... I will say, it's not Byron, Shelley, or Keats but as far as a love letter goes it's pretty good. All you have to do is find the right girl to send it to ... As much as it sucks the romantic part of this relationship is over and she has moved on but it makes sense being that you guys are in two different countries ..... you should move on too


    Lenric - I think you were a little harsh

  9. #9
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    Yeah, Lenric has a point, but I agree that he was a little tough there.

    But seriously, that is the EXACT type of letter (email) I wrote to my ex when we first separated.

    I thought that if I poured my heart out, my words would have some sort of effect & I could persuade her to change her mind.

    Didn't work...
    It comes of as needy & desperate.

    The best thing to do is work on yourself & keep building your social circle. Go out & have fun.
    Find a hobby that you're passionate about. Make self-improvements.

    Demonstrate you have a positive outlook on life & project a happy, confident personna.

    That will be more attractive to women in general... Including your ex.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: NEWBIE that needs help !!!

    So she texted me guys


    hope you are OK and not too upset about what I wrote you. Please know that I love you but you knew like I knew that we would have to say goodbye at some point and I would have to go home. I really enjoyed getting back to the US and had a great time with you but I have a boyfriend back home now and things have changed between us. Hope you are OK with that and we can still be best of friends


    So how do I respond ? Should I respond ? I haven't since her first text .... how can I be fun and flirty T-Mal ?


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