I know this a tired old subject that won't go away. Really it should be one of those "there are no right or wrong answers" but unfortunately it's not that cut and dry. If most beautiful or attractive women absolutely insist on having the man pay for them on dates(dinner or otherwise)then maybe we need to be flexible. I'm not saying that is the case because honestly I don't know. However, I'm pretty much against paying for them for reasons I'll get into later.
I wouldn't mind paying as long as it's reciprocal but on the first date or even first few you don't know if you will see her again and shelling out money on someone when the relationship could end at any moment doesn't excite me much. Maybe I am being a bit inflexible or rigid here but here is how I see it. Sure, a man is almost always the one asking the woman out and many people will say the one who does the asking needs to pay. That is silly to me because at least initially it's almost always the guy doing the asking! A more fair way of determining it would not be by gender but by who makes more money. Even that doesn't sit right with me though and doesn't seem right. I don't understand why a man and a woman can't split the bill. Some will say(even PUA's) that if you do that you will be thrown into the friend zone because that's what friends do. I agree and that's why you have to have pretty good game(which you should have regardless). In this day and age I see no reason why people can't either split the bill or come up with some other kind of arrangement. I might say to her "well, if you can chip in at least five dollars that would be great. That way you only have to give me a handjob. If I paid for it all then I'd expect the whole shebang." This would be said with a big smile of course. The thing is women should be ok with splitting the bill because if not then there's always the assumption that if the man pays for it all then he expects sex(which I can understand to some extent- not that I personally would expect it though).
So here's the thing. Yeah I know you should just do something inexpensive the first few times in order to avoid this kind of date(ie coffee, hiking, free concert, hot sex at your place etc etc basically anything that doesn't require money unless of course she's a hooker then then hot sex thing will cost you )but sooner or later you are going to hopefully take her out so how do you resolve this? Flip a coin? If she really insists on me paying should I cave in or have a backbone(will she respect that more). Should we discuss it before hand and I possibly toss her aside if she is the "old fashioned type" who insists on having the man pay? Should I reject a woman just because of this one issue. I am pretty against it because I feel if the man is paying then the woman has higher value(higher social value at least) and you are already set in as her enabler(or provider). I don't want to be in the provider role for one thing.
Anyway, I had this conversation with a married woman in a bar once(her husband went home to feed the dog and I was stuck with her for a few minutes)and it's amazing how much women really hold on to this. I'm thinking see if she would at least pay five dollars or maybe twenty percent since it doesn't have to be an all or nothing issue. I just don't want to be taken advantage of as a man and I know other guys are concerned about this too. Like I said part of this can be avoided by not having dinner as the first date but sooner or later this will come up. Any thoughts? Please don't say I'm overthinking this because I do think it's worth discussing.