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Thread: What should I do

  1. #11
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    Like I said before, you were needy, she got it and now she's flaking.

    I'm sure meteora, dave-o, drgsfire12 and grey2fox said it all, but I want to give my 2 cents.

    The mistakes were yours, so you don't have any reason to freeze her out. Freeze outs work when the girl likes us and she has made a mistake. Neither one of those things happened in your relationship, so Freezing Her Out is pointless.

    Don't postpone your dreams and goals because of a girl, especially because of a girl who doesn't give a damn about you.

    Why would you want to text her now that you're coming back to Milan? You forgot your keys inside her vagina? Texting her is useless and utterly bad for you, because she doesn't care about you (as much as you do about her, at least).
    You want to text her "oh I'll be back to Milan, 'cause I forgot my keys". This translates to "I'm telling you this because I care about you and I want you to care about me, so please do care." This is needy behavior. Don't text her. Live your life, hook up with other girls in the town you're going to. That's the only way of not being needy. This is the only way of being a man, because no matter what you do, the best option is simply not to say shit.


    Unlike meteora, I allow only one flake, especially if she proposes an alternative day for the date. 2 flakes without telling "oh let's go for an ice cream tomorrow instead, I can't today" mean that you should let her go.
    You are always harsh, but fair

    I will try to explain you better to all of you guys why I want to freeze her out.

    After we met the first time at the club, she started sending "cold" texts which became flirty after our first "real" date. We flirted for 3-4 days and then she started again with those shitty cold messages.
    The point is: one day she behaves like I'm the one, the best guy on earth,
    the day after she behaves like I'm an average guy she barely knows....I have the feeling that she is doing this as a game.

    When I asked her to go out again she told me she was busy, but then, after 2/3 hours (maybe she felt guilty) she told me she wanted to see me at 7pm....but then, again!, she told me she underestimated how much homework she had...so she couldn't go out anymore

    The second time I asked her to go out she told me she already bought theater tickets so nothing happened

    I have this feeling that she is running a game with me so this is why I want to freeze her out

    She hasn't done anything bad to me, but I just want to be sure that she feels (at least) something about me so I will try not to send her any texts for 3/4 days

    The first "frozen" day has passed, and, as expected she did not text me
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  2. #12
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    Default Re: What should I do

    I get what you're saying Duca and I respect that. I understand and agree with the Freeze Out under the reasons you mentioned, however, you were needy before that and, according to my own experience, needy feelings always lead to needy behavior, and women are especially keen in figuring it out. That's why I disagree with a freeze out. At least, because of the reasons you're telling.

    Anyway, I believe that you're an interesting guy, living in a very good country, with plenty of pretty women. I also believe that you're going to a very good city with loads of beautiful girls. Even if this hook up you had evolved into something better, you'd be 1 month apart from her. 1 month apart, especially in the early stages of a relationship, is too much time, so flirt with other girls. Hook up with them, fuck them. You'll get much better.
    When you come back to Milan, you'll be way better in this art and you'll be able to get better girls. Always think positive man. With good vibe come great things.


    Oh and by the way, whenever women try to game by having erratic behavior, always always always think "this is my life. I live it under my code. Either she does what I want, or she can go fuck herself. I don't let anyone telling me how to live my life.".
    If you consider her behavior erratic, dump her. But really dump her. No freeze outs, no nothing. If she comes back, let her talk to you, even set up a date and then you flake on her. If she tries again to set up a date, accept under your terms and reward her effort. You are always the prize. You're always the focus of your life, of your relationships. Remember this.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: What should I do

    You are the man lenric

    I'll follow your advice
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  4. #14
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    Default Re: What should I do

    After we met the first time at the club, she started sending "cold" texts which became flirty after our first "real" date.
    you took a bar fly on a "real date"??? no wonder she hasn't had sex with you. she probably wanted to hook up with you the night you met her, and you just put her off by being a "gentleman" and trying to "date" her.

    you sir have fallen into the trap I know as "the dating zone" (aka she thinks your a great guy, but you're not the kind of guy she's used to sleeping with)

    I have this feeling that she is running a game with me so this is why I want to freeze her out
    she is running a game on you, probably pretending to be aloof so you'll invest even more of your time and effort into her while she just holds the carrot on the stick. the kind of game that cannot be won by anyone who agrees to play it.

    basically, she wants you to chase her. but once you start chasing her she looses interest, witch causes you to chase more, with causes her to loose even more interest... rinse and repeat, the cycle goes on as one big sh!t storm of a negative feedback loop.

    always make the girl chase you. if she isn't putting in effort, you sure as hell shouldn't be.

    Unlike meteora, I allow only one flake,
    one flake is harsh. I can't bring myself to drop the girl if she has a legit reason she can't make it. with my rule, if a girl puts you off 3 times in a row, it means she's lost most interest and is now just playing with you.

    of course lenric is older and more bitter about the world around him than I am lol

  5. #15
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    you took a bar fly on a "real date"??? no wonder she hasn't had sex with you. she probably wanted to hook up with you the night you met her, and you just put her off by being a "gentleman" and trying to "date" her.

    you sir have fallen into the trap I know as "the dating zone" (aka she thinks your a great guy, but you're not the kind of guy she's used to sleeping with)



    she is running a game on you, probably pretending to be aloof so you'll invest even more of your time and effort into her while she just holds the carrot on the stick. the kind of game that cannot be won by anyone who agrees to play it.

    basically, she wants you to chase her. but once you start chasing her she looses interest, witch causes you to chase more, with causes her to loose even more interest... rinse and repeat, the cycle goes on as one big sh!t storm of a negative feedback loop.

    always make the girl chase you. if she isn't putting in effort, you sure as hell shouldn't be.



    one flake is harsh. I can't bring myself to drop the girl if she has a legit reason she can't make it. with my rule, if a girl puts you off 3 times in a row, it means she's lost most interest and is now just playing with you.

    of course lenric is older and more bitter about the world around him than I am lol

    What do you suggest me to do?

    Stop writing her forever?

    Set a "hot" date like asking (telling) her to come to my house to watch a movie?

    P.S. I wanted to bang her the night I met her but it was 5am and her parents wanted her to come home! (she is only 18)....so that's why I was not able to f*ck her that night
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  6. #16
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    Default Re: What should I do

    I'm 23 meteora

    Duca, you should have fucked her. If her parents would get mad at her so be it, it's not your problem. Those kind of excuses, if said by them, are only Last Minute Resistance aka "I want you to fuck me, but I don't want you to notice it so easily". If said by you, then it's wussy behavior.

    You're still being needy and a wuss. It's sad and frustrating that you keep being needy despite all the good advices we gave you, but it's your decision. Your life, your decisions, your mistakes.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Ok I made a mistake...I did not f*ck her...

    I have not sent a text to her in 4 days so I'm not being needy...I just need some clarifications since some told me to stop writing her, and some told me to write her (don't know when)
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  8. #18
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    Default Re: What should I do

    In my opinion, after the night at the club I got stuck into the buyer's remorse (she was cold) but I managed to escape it by setting another date where I behaved rationally and only kissed her at the end of the date.

    So I can't explain myself what went wrong...

    Either she wanted to have sex with me and I didn't keep up with her expectations (but then I can't explain the buyer's remorse after the night at the club)

    or

    I made a mistake in the text game and I f*cked up everything
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  9. #19
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by Duca View Post
    Ok I made a mistake...I did not f*ck her...

    I have not sent a text to her in 4 days so I'm not being needy...
    Stop being arrogant for fuck's sake, you're doing a shitstorm over this, so you're being needy, do we need to draw you a picture so that you understand it?
    Embrace your failure, learn from it and move on. End.

  10. #20
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    Default Re: What should I do

    You are right lenric, I was needy and I lost her

    The fact is that all the women I had were one-night-stand experiences but this time for the first time I wanted to have more than just a night of sex...maybe I wanted her to be my girlfriend

    This is why I fucked up everything, I had almost no experience in the "how to get a girlfriend" game, and probably she had different expectations from me (just sex maybe?)

    Thank you for the harsh message...It is what I needed to "wake up" (I'm not ironic)
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch


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