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Thread: Dealing with inexperience

  1. #1
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Dealing with inexperience

    So last summer I met this girl on the subway, we talked for awhile and then went and grabbed coffee. We spent like two hours together and then she had to go because she was flying home to Europe the next day. I did get her number. When she got home we started texting on and off, but I have found out recently that she is coming back to the US in June and I definitely want to hook up with her. I’ve been stepping up my texting with her and getting flirty but she is sweet and innocent and despite being very attractive does not have a lot of experience with guys and certainly no experience with an American guy who is bold, flirty, and outspoken. My fear is that I will scare her off. So I am texting her the other night and I'm trying to step it up a little bit but I think I kind of wimped out



    M: Hey ______ , be honest, Is walking around in just purple boxer briefs and black dress socks goofy looking ?!?!?!?!


    H: You are goofy no matter what you're wearing but please don't send any snaps!!!!



    M: But is the bow tie too much



    H: What is that?


    M: The tie you wear with a tuxedo silly


    H: Right!!! that is what we in Danish call "prikken over i'et"



    M; You should call it bøen tiedun


    H: But that does not make any sense AT ALL...!?


    M: But it sounds so good
    And stop thinking you are special because you have three extra letters in your alphabet .... I'm not impressed


    H: Haha, you are soooo jealous obviously!!! But bøen tiedun, it sounds dutch



    M: Dutch , Danish ..... you guys are all the same



    M: If you really want to impress me come up with an entirely new alphabet like the goofy Russians did !!



    H: I have never seen the Russians as being goofy, but maybe you have some insider knowledge



    M: Well working for the CIA I know lots of things that most people don't


    H: I keep forgetting that so do you have any idea when they will invade the Baltic countries?


    H: Btw, I have no idea what I'm doing now



    SHE SENDS ME A PICTURE THAT IS MOSTLY BLACK AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT IS



    M: WTF is that picture ?!?!?!?
    ........ are you drunk already ???


    H: My mom is filling me up with red wine and I'm so tired - not a good combo


    M: HA HA HA ...... Eat some flæskesvær so you vomit


    H: The best advice EVER!!! So sweet of you....NOT! Ill eat candy instead though


    M: So what sort of trouble are you going to cause this weekend


    H: Absolutely none - for once!!!! birthday brunch tomorrow with some family, volleyball and work Sunday and that's it.. and you??


    M: Well I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night with a friend and hockey on Sunday


    H: Don't hurt yourself again then! Is it actually only practice or is it also league matches?


    M: No we play for real ..... We have sticks and everything


    H: Waow!!! You are so lucky, we only stick to air volleyball - cannot afford balls, and the guys ones are not big enough!!!!



    M: Air volleyball, air guitar ..... It's all good ... Although I bet you have a lot of fights over whether the ball was in or out



    H: How could you possibly know!? well, tv show now! Have fun and talk soon.. xoxo



    M: You have a good weekend and take care of yourself ______


    H: Will do and you too


    M: A big American hug from me to you


    H: A big Danish hug back


    M: Only one problem with an American
    hug


    H: ???


    M: There is often an ass grab mixed in with it


    H: OMG!!!! I'm so lucky being at my moms place right now


    M: Wait till you come back to the U.S. ….. Your mom can’t save you here



    SOOOO now there is a three minuet delay in her responding when before it was thirty seconds at the most and I’m thinking I blew it, I've scared her off, so I wimp out and respond


    M: Just kidding .... I'll take very good care of you


    M: Although we might do a bit of drinking and cause some trouble


    H: Haha, it is always good and fun to be drunk and cause trouble once or twice in a while.. I will look forward to it, talk to you soon


    M: Good night & sweet dreams …. I’ll look forward to that 3AM text from you


    H: HA HA HA, I’m sorry I keep forgetting about the six hour time difference


    M: No Worries, I always enjoy being woken up by an attractive young lady in the early morning hours


    H: I bet you do J



    SO the question is …. Did I screw up by wimping out and saying “just kidding”, and how do I keep from scaring her off. She has told me repeatedly that I am nothing like the guys in Denmark, (I’m guessing that’s a good thing) but I am also wondering if I need to tone it down to like 60% with her so I don’t overwhelm her !?!?!?!?

  2. #2
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    Honestly I think you're doing fine! You weren't THAT extreme. You were definitely getting her to think about you in a sexual way, which is good, but you didn't go too far. I wouldn't have sent her the just kidding text personally because it had only been 3 minutes. Sometimes a girl will see your text and be unsure how to respond at first or try and think of a witty response. I would have given it longer then you did but that little "misstep" in NO WAY is a big enough thing for her to next you.

    I personally stay away from being sexual over text UNTIL I've messed around with her. I would stay away from trying to be sexual unless it's light innuendos. Stay flirty and fun with her and drop some light innuendos. That's all you need to do. The safest way is to keep doing what you're doing then escalate in person. I don't see any reason to "ramp it up" over text. All you need to use texting for is to stay in touch, have fun, and secure a meetup with her when she returns. Once you're with her THEN you can ramp it up.

    FYI: Her saying that you're nothing like the guys in Denmark is a very good thing.

  3. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    Thanks for the input Direct ..... it's greatly appreciated ..... apparently guys in Denmark are laid back, sort of boring, and totally non direct so guys who are bold, direct, and flirty are like a hand up the skirt for Danish girls. I'll keep doing what I'm doing and when she gets back to the States I'll really push for the hook up ...... thanks again

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    Direct is right. I generally don't' have long conversations over text. I keep it short and light and playful and only use it for solving logistics for a date. Game her in person where you can escalate for the close.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

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  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    Well being 3,000 miles away I have to text her to stay in the forefront of her mind and lay the groundwork for a hook up .... but I don't text her every day, and I gauge her responsiveness as to how long the conversation goes ..... when she comes back to the US in June the texting will stop and I'll escalate her live and in person .... Thanks

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    a) you're doing good. staying flirty and keeping the conversations interesting is the way to success.

    SOOOO now there is a three minuet delay in her responding when before it was thirty seconds at the most and I’m thinking I blew it, I've scared her off, so I wimp out and respond


    M: Just kidding .... I'll take very good care of you
    here you didn't wait long enough. patience pays off. I would have just waited her out, until she could come up with some flirty text response. (or till the next day)

    imo sending another text when a girl doesn't respond is like rewarding her for not responding.

    and even if you decide to use the "just kidding" copout, wait at least an hour to do so.

    people can't always answer you right away, so don't expect them to. for all you know she could have gone to the toilet, or taken a shower, or even passed out or fell asleep.

    btw

    I personally stay away from being sexual over text UNTIL I've messed around with her. I would stay away from trying to be sexual unless it's light innuendos. Stay flirty and fun with her and drop some light innuendos. That's all you need to do. The safest way is to keep doing what you're doing then escalate in person. I don't see any reason to "ramp it up" over text. All you need to use texting for is to stay in touch, have fun, and secure a meetup with her when she returns. Once you're with her THEN you can ramp it up.
    direct is spot on as usual.

  7. #7
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    You are right Meteora and I know better and I don't usually give a shit about a delayed response or no response but I'm not used to dealing with a girl who is so sweet and innocent and I don't want to scare her away because I really want to hook up with her

  8. #8
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    I'm not used to dealing with a girl who is so sweet and innocent
    in my opinion, girls who are sweet and innocent are usually not so innocent. (even if they are, don't treat them any differently than less innocent girls)

    I don't want to scare her away
    stop worrying about scaring her away, otherwise it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    now keep flirting with her, and don't be afraid to be bold. courage and confidence are usually rewarded

  9. #9
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    Totally agree meteora, I think that's why I'm so desperate to hook up with her, I want to see if there is a volcano underneath all that sweetness and innocence ..... and yeah I'm going yo forget the whole scaring her off bit and just do my thing ..... Thanks !!!

  10. #10
    LiveToWinBuddy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with inexperience

    I dated a croatian/ catholic girl who wanted to a be a virgin until marriage for almost a year. She was awesome, and we didn't breakup because of the no sex till marriage. She was very sweet and innocent, as well as stunningly beautiful. There were times when I'd get her sexting and when we would start getting active you could tell she wanted it. I tried to go down on her so many times but she wouldnt let me. Point being, if she's sweet and innocent as well as very grounded in her family and religion, she'll be hard to get to get flirty and dirty, but it is inside. I eventually broke down most of the wall and she became flirty and more comfortable, but sex never happened.


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