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  • 1 Post By WillEdward

Thread: How not to be a needy loser

  1. #1
    Duca's Avatar
    Duca is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How not to be a needy loser

    Hey guys I need your help (I will use the word "girl" meaning this happens to me with 99% of the girls I met)

    I consider myself a good PUA since I have no problems talking with girls and collecting numbers

    Once I have collected the number I usually text the girl the day after with some funny texts and in a couple of days I'm able to set a date.

    During the date we kiss, hold hands, and sometimes we have sex.

    The problem is...what comes after!

    For one or two days there are no problems: I text the girl using funny original texts and she responds immediately in a good mood...she seems really into me!

    But I don't know why...3-4 days after the date (who went really well) the girl starts to be cold (I'm talking about sms game) and flaky

    I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong! I mean:

    -I DO NOT use boring texts
    -I DO NOT text the girl the whole day
    -Sometimes I respond in 10 seconds, sometimes in a couple of hours just to keep the attraction high
    -Sometimes I stop responding and text her back in like 24 hours

    I usually try to set a second date 3/4 days after the first one...but 90% of the time the girl finds an excuse

    This is driving me crazy! It's like someone is telling the girl: "Don't date that guy...he is a douche!"
    But I'm sure this is not the case since I don't have any enemy nor a bad reputation

    The only mistake I can think of is that I think about the girl the whole time...but reading again the messages I do not find anything that can be seen as "needy"

    What do you think guys?

    P.S. I've already read many ebooks on text game and T-Mal Conversational Bible on this forum
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  2. #2
    BonyMon is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How not to be a needy loser

    Same happens to me all the time. Nothing needy at all. My texts are great, but yeah, even after F-closing and especially after only K-closing they flake in a few days.

    Maybe it's not us. Something about online chicks?? I think online chicks see the whole thing as a menu because when they get home, you know any girl we're willing to go out with has at least 20 new messages waiting for her.

    Just a thought...

    Maybe we gotta figure out, How do we stand out from all the other dudes?? Perhaps not even text her the next day after the F or K close at all? I dunno...

    I'm gonna try that.

  3. #3
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How not to be a needy loser

    For one or two days there are no problems: I text the girl using funny original texts and she responds immediately in a good mood...she seems really into me!
    1. text game is obviously not the problem that needs remedied. your text game is probably just as good if not better than mine.


    I usually try to set a second date 3/4 days after the first one...but 90% of the time the girl finds an excuse
    2. you might not be waiting long enough for the second date, though i could be wrong because we do live in a society raised on instant gratification.


    This is driving me crazy! It's like someone is telling the girl: "Don't date that guy...he is a douche!"
    But I'm sure this is not the case since I don't have any enemy nor a bad reputation
    3. there is someone telling them that. its the flip side of pua. relationship advice books and magazine columns for girls. many of these books share a common theme, "watch out for the player" (and they give advice for identifying "players" )


    [QUOTE][Maybe it's not us. Something about online chicks?? I think online chicks see the whole thing as a menu because when they get home, you know any girl we're willing to go out with has at least 20 new messages waiting for her.
    /QUOTE]

    4. online chicks also share a common theme, most of them are starved for romance.

    many of them are no stranger to the dating game, and they have been cycling through options searching for "the perfect lover" (something they will likely never find) their playdar is going to be particularly high and you won't get passed as easily as you would if you had met that same chick in person. they expect 90% of the guys they meet online to be players or trash. (rightfully so in many cases)

    [QUOTE][I consider myself a good PUA since I have no problems talking with girls and collecting numbers
    /QUOTE]

    5. my best guess is that these girls recognize that you're the kind of guy they have no future with. but many of them are still willing to sleep with you for the experience.


    6. ^ i wish i had the above problem ^ instead i actually have the exact opposite problem. many of the girls I meet want me for a relationship, but not for one night stands or as a fark buddy (largely because I'm from a wealthy family in an impoverished area and many of my dhv's reflect that) having amazing passive value is both a blessing and a curse.

    7. you may be dealing with buyers remorse when you do successfully close. (likely from moving things along so fast) i have never managed to fark a girl who didn't get some kind of buyers remorse later on due to my problem #6 combined with the fact that i usually move things fast.


    I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong! I mean:

    -I DO NOT use boring texts
    -I DO NOT text the girl the whole day
    -Sometimes I respond in 10 seconds, sometimes in a couple of hours just to keep the attraction high
    -Sometimes I stop responding and text her back in like 24 hours
    8. your text game may be way more impressive than your game in person. for some people, its easy to be twice as confident over text than in person. i have never understood this though because most of what I use is situational humor that simply does not work over text unless i know the girl really well.

    [QUOTE][-Sometimes I stop responding and text her back in like 24 hours
    /QUOTE]

    9. sometimes I just stop texting the girl for days and wait until she texts me. this helps to avoid being a girls "texting buddy" (the guy she stays friends with just so he'll entertain her every day)

    10.also, sometimes when things like this happen its because you're not allowing the girl to earn the right to sleep with you. as in, its nice to tell lots of jokes and have a girl hanging all over your every word, but you know what's nicer? listening to a girl tell you all her funny stories and jokes. if you're not maintaining a good balance between talking and listening, you may not be giving the girl enough conversational room so she can present her dhv's to you and thus earn the right to sleep with you.

  4. #4
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How not to be a needy loser

    Best way to minimize flakes after sex is to build lots of comfort with them after sex and set up plans to see them shortly thereafter and close again to develop a sexual relationship.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  5. #5
    crafty is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How not to be a needy loser

    You will find the reason in your answer to one of those 3 questions:
    1. are you an interesting person?do you make interesting date plans?
    2. can you maintain a conversation?
    3. are you caring and good in bed?

    If the girl initially enjoyed your company on the first date. Then it's what came after the first date that drove her away and it's something she can't discuss with you which is why she's flaking.


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