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Thread: Newby looking for some help.

  1. #1
    Rnglol is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Newby looking for some help.

    Hey guys,

    New member here and a complete newb on cold approaches. Let's just say that I did not need to work too hard for my two and only previous relationships, which lasted for quite a while actually. However, I've never actually had cold approaches. My first GF actually came and talk to me after transfering to my school. Second one was from my social circle.

    So...long story short, Went to this little get together thing organized by my local University and had my eyes on her since she walked through the door. Towards the end of the night I decided that I should go ahead and talk to her and maybe get her number since I've never seen her before and I knew that if I didn't go ahead and talk to her, I'll probably regret it.

    Know that it was my first time so I was naturally very nervous. I went ahead and gave her a compliment telling her that I found her super pretty and would love to get to know her a bit more. At first, she was hesitating, I noticed that she got scared at some point and tried to hide behind her friend. However, she said yes after a moment.
    I grabbed her number (from her cellphone directly, so I'm positive that it's not a fake) and kinda just left...(yes I know, I screwed up here, should have stayed and try to have a conversation).

    I didn't text her right away not knowing what to say so I ran back home and started reading on techniques on Texting Game. The next, I sent her a quick text to ask how was her day by using a technique I learned last minute called Callback Humors. She was wearing a weather with a huge "W" on it, so I naturally just called her "Miss. W" and asked how was her day, no answer.

    I didn't keep texting her nor ask her if it's the right number, I don't like to sound needy and desperate. However, I did manage to find her on facebook and added her, which to my surprise she accepted.

    So yeah...that's pretty much the story, sorry for the wall of text but I'm kinda stuck here, not really knowing what to do next.



    Any insights/help/advice would be greatly appreciated!



    Thanks!

  2. #2
    fancy16 is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Hey and welcome. Well, when you sent her message on mobile phone maybe she didn't know it is you. On FB she see it is you so now you can text her again. Start some kind of conversation. It should not be too hard. Say, thanks for accepting my request. How are you? I am sure she will respond and then just go with the flow

  3. #3
    Rnglol is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Quote Originally Posted by fancy16 View Post
    Hey and welcome. Well, when you sent her message on mobile phone maybe she didn't know it is you. On FB she see it is you so now you can text her again. Start some kind of conversation. It should not be too hard. Say, thanks for accepting my request. How are you? I am sure she will respond and then just go with the flow

    Hey Fancy16!. She finally replied me today around 1 in the morning lol. I asked her very sarcastically if she was writing an essay on this...then I just simply told her that it was my first time approaching a girl and hope that didn't scare her too much considering she tried to take shelter behind her friend when i went up and talked to her and just wished her good night.

    Seems fine?

  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Why the hell would you tell her it was your first time approaching a girl ..... there are some things you should just keep to yourself
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  5. #5
    fancy16 is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rnglol View Post
    Hey Fancy16!. She finally replied me today around 1 in the morning lol. I asked her very sarcastically if she was writing an essay on this...then I just simply told her that it was my first time approaching a girl and hope that didn't scare her too much considering she tried to take shelter behind her friend when i went up and talked to her and just wished her good night.

    Seems fine?
    Yes, it seems just fine and you are honest. . Keep posting how things are going

  6. #6
    fancy16 is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    Why the hell would you tell her it was your first time approaching a girl ..... there are some things you should just keep to yourself
    And what is bad in being honest please?

  7. #7
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Who said anything about lying .... I just said you don't have to share everything ..... We are talking about attraction here, and saying you never approached a girl before doesn't really build any ........ but go ahead and keep telling her that she is pretty and texting her "how are you" and while your at it punch yourself in the nuts because thats the only action you will get
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  8. #8
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    It's like we are breaking all the basic rules of PUA

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Okay so this is what you did right

    -You approached her
    -You got her number

    What you did wrong

    -You didn't stay and talk to her. You pretty much ran away hence you didn't build enough attraction. Without attraction a number is useless.

    -You immediately found her on facebook. This is what every AFC does. When I had a fb I would never add a girl. Even if I was hooking up with her I wouldn't add her! Don't add girls you're interested in. This does two things.
    1. It separates you from all of the losers constantly adding her.
    2. If she adds you it's a big ioi. One thing I never hear anyone mention is how big of an IOI it is when a girl you barely know adds you on fb. This means she searched you out and is curious about you. Every time this happened to me I thought "I got you!" and it never failed.

    -Your texts weren't that great. You did some good things in your texts but never ask a girl "how are you". That's just boring.

    -You told her you never approached a girl before. This isn't the best thing to tell a girl because a confident guy has probably approached many women before.

    Allot of guys will tell you that telling a girl you find her attractive and you want to get to know her is a bad idea. I disagree. Basically what you did is the backbone of Direct Game. I think that part of your approach was fine.

    Honestly you can be as direct or indirect as you want, and say whatever you want as long as you're confident. I know a guy who gets laid all the time and he's a complete moron. I hear him tell women the dumbest things and they just smile and laugh while I'm just thinking "wow that was so dumb I feel like I just lost brain cells because I heard it".

    The moral of this post is this: You did allot of bad things BUT you still approached! Be happy that you took action and learn from it! Keep trying man!

  10. #10
    Rnglol is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Newby looking for some help.

    Thanks for the feedback guys. Yeah I noticed I did lot of wrongs. As a matter of fact, the reason I actually never approached girls before was because I actually did not need to...I'm only a University graduate and had only 2 relationships before which lasted about 2 years each. I never had to approach girls, both my ex actually just approached me so yeah...I am rather confident but everyone has a first time so I was a bit nervous.

    Anyway, here's an update if anyone's interested. Messaged her last night and simply told her that I had a bad day hope her day was better. Went to sleep and next morning she replied and told me to go eat when i'm sad with a smiley face. Conviniently I was cooking breakfast so I sent her a pic of what I was cooking and she told me that it looks good and what was it. Told her what it was and what kind of food she likes. She replied and answered my question. I didn't answer her yet cause 1: I am at work and 2: I don't wanna answer too quickly, makes me look a bit desperate.

    I do notice that her speed of replying is increasing a bit and yeah, that's about it


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